Jessica woke up a ballerina, blasting Justin Timberlake's can't stop the feeling through her speakers, something she rarely did. She got ready for the day pairing her air force ones with some mum jeans, a tank top and bucket hat; she was the perfect reflection of a girl breaking stereotypes. There was a knock on the door, she didn't have to ask, she knew it was Jack, the reason she slept late and woke up dancing. She opened the door wide grinning like a Cheshire cat. She jumped to straddle and hug him, then he kissed her holding on like she was oxygen, and she let her hand get lost in his hair.
"Get a room", a group of three girls called, while passing by. At this, they disentangled themselves, caught their breath and walked out hand in hand to the car.
The sun felt brighter, the grass greener and life was somewhat whole for Jessica. She was reborn and walked about with a spring in her steps. No one would understand how falling for a guy in one day and not caring about what was supposed to happen would cause her this much joy. She felt different and different was good, looking at Jack he smiled reaching out to squeeze her thigh. The questions came, the why and how, but she shoved them far behind because these were moments she should just enjoy and not let anything interfere. Right now she was happy, and she was Jack's girlfriend or more like the bad boy's girl.
Jack was a sucker for PDA (public display of affection) and he loved to show Jessica off. She wasn't perfect, but she could turn a few heads with her perfect legs and tiny waist. After basking in the spotlight for a bit Jessica went off to find Ben, one of the perks of arriving early was catching up with your friend. They simultaneously spot each other, and she smiles walking towards him.
"So the princess finally decides to find the pauper," Ben said
"Oh! Come on Ben, you know it wasn't and still isn't like that"
"Well then, tell me how it is", she opened her mouth with no reply
" I understand, you flew to planet love with a guy who for the record I don't approve of so keep him far away from me"
"Is that your serious face?" She joked
"I know and I'm sorry I disappeared and I promise to not let Jack or anything take me away from you," she said
"Just promise to never let me walk the boredom road to Professor Mark's class alone" he replied
"Done", she went in for a hug
" What's done?" Jack interrupted putting an arm around Jessica and pulling her possessively to his side.
"Uhh, Jack? It's not nice to interrupt people who are having a conversation", she pinches his cheek playfully
" Not when my girlfriend is involved"
"Jealous much, I'm not with a random guy, I'm with my friend", she leans into his chest
" Is that so?" He kissed her, and she blushes
Ben snorts packs up his books and gets up to leave feeling ignored
Jessica turns to him, "Been we've got class, where are you doing?" She was oblivious to his grievance.
"I'm switching seats obviously" he replies
"Hey, bro ease up, don't be so rude to her" Jack cut in, yet again. Ben just eyes him and walks away. Jessica felt hurt and wanted to go after him but Jack stopped her, "babe, he just has a bad attitude let him be"
"You were the rude one", she points out
" really babe?" He scoffs
"Really, but you called me baby twice in a row and you're pretty much making up for it" she pecks him and turns to focus her attention on the professor who just walked in.
Focus won't exactly describe what went down because Jack kept tickling or touching her inappropriately. It was almost like he was trying to seduce her, she pushed the thought away and turned to glare at Jack. The day went by in a blur and Jessica missed Ben, she felt bad and made mental note to call him.
Jack drove her back to her dorm, where they spent the rest of the afternoon binging on junk food and making out. It came to an awkward stop, because Jessica had a flashback, refusing to explain anything she lied to Jack telling him she had a migraine. After he left, she took a shower and called Ben, but he didn't pick up, she felt he was beginning to be petty about the whole situation. She took out her diary to clear head, something she hadn't done in a while wondering if that was why she had the flashback. She was tempted to call her therapist but thought she didn't have to cry wolf over small things. Getting comfy between the sheets, she flipped through her diary till she came to a blank page then she wrote:
Dear diary,
It's been a while and I think I've missed this, who am I kidding? I missed this. So it has been a bumpy ride and I'm just here jumping into decisions; not exactly jumping but it's the least of my troubles. I'm with JACK and it feels exciting and liberating but while I was making out with him and I had a flashback to an Ace moment. It was scary and so real, I almost felt as though I was in his arms and it makes my skin crawl. I'm writing because Dr Cute thinks it'll help me if it's a part of my routine. A part of me has a lot of what-ifs in place but your homegirl made a promise to live above everything that has happened. I can't forget but how do I accept this dirty feeling, this feeling that I wear my scars for all to see. It's been a while but I'm happy I'm doing this now, I'll just go cry myself to sleep for reasons that I can't figure out. So see you words, she signed off.
Jessica closed her book and cried, she cried because she felt alone because she was hurt. She knew that these shadows would always haunt her as long as she couldn't own them. She picked her phone up a couple of times to call Jack to buy he didn't feel like what she needed right then. She wanted to be lost in safety and familiarity. Then with all the courage she could, she called and on the third ring, someone answered, and they stayed silent for a bit.
"Do you want me to come over?" a voice asked
"Yes please" her reply was faint
"I'll be there as soon as I can, dress up for a cold night"
Jessica sink into the sheets and waited.