People were laughing at me for being dorky, mean, stalking and being a spy. They were already laughing so I thought why not to take it as an advantage. They'll still be laughing, but I'll be having my achievement. But that was it. The cycle of my life converted back, I was back to being the girl people laughed at. I forgot everything and started to live among others exactly as life pulled me to. I was following the rope that led to nothing but thin air. My interest for espionage, spies, and crimes disappeared as i grew only to keep within the pace of life and that was to be an impotent ruler of my life; Freshman year obstructed the things i held on to. The things i thought made sense, the things that made me content of whoever i was, and the ways that made me brave, slide, and laugh out loud. Though, i forgot these ways and things as i moved forward. One afternoon in school lunchtime, Evie asked why i in all of a sudden seemed boring and indolent again. I hung my head and shrugged. She sighed, took a sip of the cola drink in front of her and said licking her lips, 'Look. This is not cool. What's with you? Remember when you predicted every book and movie murder mystery correct. I was so damn glad to see you being a smart ass detective or whatever and smiling and focusing. Your face was like this.'' She widened her eyes, mouth grinned in a forced smile and pointed nowhere suspiciously. That made me giggle. She laughed back in sort of a chuckle. ''See. That's what i need from you, G. Just show your teeth in a smile. If you don't want that detective prodigy stuff then screw it. Just do that.'' I nodded, meaningly and leaned over the chair, stretched my arms and sighed looking back at Evie. We stared at each other, neither of us smiling. Just a blank emoji face. Then we went on about our day talking and laughing like there weren't hundreds of other students sitting all around us. They turned faces annoyed and surprised. I drank the coke and threw the empty can over my shoulders. It didn't make any sound then I saw Evie say. 'Oops.' She wouldn't have said that if it was someone else or some random guy or girl. I turned my head to look. My face went colorless, I stopped chewing the-whatever i had in my mouth, I don't know what it was. Arnab had it in his hand with little strewn over his gray plain shirt. I swallowed down hard. I forgot i had something in my mouth and almost choked. Smiling back at me with his perfectly lined bright teeth and nearly curved jawline, Arnab walked over and handed me the can saying 'The trash can is over there.'' pointing towards the corner of the hall where the trashcan sat in distant and left ringing his butt back at me in vanity knowing it looked splendid. His butt cheeks danced in harmony, his hip pulling them along in a round. Evie caught me staring, raised her eyebrows, rolled up her lips and whispered, ''Get over it. He doesn't like you.' It hurt. She must have seen me starting to get bubbles and tear up, she banged on the table laughing in excess. I stroked her with the plastic fork, she yelled in sort of a pain. I attempted again almost hitting her on thighs, therefore, she apologized. Still giggling. When I'd walked through the gates of the school for the first time, and seemed lost. Arnab was the only person who came sashaying to me. 'You new here?' He asked, wincing. I nodded no vaguely even though i was. He grinned evenly and reached for my hand. I pulled back. 'Hey. I can show you around. Come' He said again, offering me his hand. I couldn't refuse. He was kind. His hand was tender, soft, calm and slippery. My hand kept falling back so he held it tight and I felt his firmness. We walked to the hall. 'Are you in senior year?'' He asked. 'Freshmen' I said. ''Ah, okay. That's the locker-room for freshmen and on the other side are for seniors and beside that, you can find the classes.'' He gestured towards the classes between the locker-room. I nodded knowingly. The eloquence of his words were clear and fluent. He continued walking and I followed him as though he was my tour guide. He led me to a lab which i later realized was a biology lab. There were all sort of things strewn over the place. The manmade figure of organs of humans were ripped apart. The stomach at one place, the liver and bladder at the other. The penis was gone. I looked around and it was stuck on the top of a vagina of a women figure. A hand drawn over it stating she was masturbating. I turned back at the male one and realized that it stood watching the female version in agony with the pain of being penisless. A sexual romantic absurd and platonic drama. We turned back and out of the hall. He didn't show me around the classes, doubting there won't be anything else like that then he took me to the library which was a quiet, nice and beautiful place. It smelt of old books and inks and dust. I like the odor of dust. He showed me the literature, history, novel, stories and every other sections individually commenting on each one: Literature: 'Literature is cool. You can find every sort of factious book in here. Just name it. If you're a writer, you can come here to fill your needs to practice and that sort of thing.'' History: 'From the ancient greece to the modern era. From the evolution of science to it's continuation. Galileo Galilei, Einstein, Shakespeare, Lincoln. Everyone's handwritten books are here but i have read nearly 1 percent of it.' Novels: ''We read novels in the purpose of feeling what we cannot in real life. We hope to drive in space, fly to the moon, talk to spirits, fall in love and travel to different universes. Novels make us feel all of that.. If you ever feel like a mess in the class, come here directly. ' Then the bell rang. We strode to our classes. I forgot to tell him my name. He just went back to the class like the tour guiding was his job. I kept walking and he yelled, 'I'm Arnab!' a smile broke over my face. I turned and watched him from afar. I waved my hand. ''Your name?'' He screamed back when i didn't tell him my name. I tried to shout but wheezed at first and then tried again, ''Glenda! I'm Glenda!'' He gestured vaguely and continued with his feet paddles to the class. My knees went stiff staring at the blackboard, barely blinking. I was in the Spanish class alone or perhaps that's what it felt like. Nobody knew me there. Seven months in school and I wasn't recognizable yet. I just couldn't fit in the throng of students. Most students hid behind their smiles and widened eyes. The ones in the back had their faces lying down on the tables, warming their eyes to some sleep for the classes ahead. 1st, 2nd and 3rd row only paid attention to the lessons but only few cared. I didn't. I was in the first row of students writing down whatever the teacher wrote, in our cuadernos (NOTEBOOK) . Anotelo (NOTE IT DOWN), He'd say every time he would scribble something on the board. I pretended to do that. Only ten minutes in and I was bored to death. I started blinking heavily and It was difficult to keep my eyes open. The other students were listening. God had heard my deepest feelings. Arnab appeared from the doorway and said, he had something urgent for me. The teacher told him to meet me after class. ''It can't wait, sir.'' He told the teacher. He eyed me. Teacher looked at me frustrated and ringed his head telling me to go. I got up without hesitating, picking up my things. I knew what he was doing. ''Hurry up! There's no time to dawdle.'' He ordered me. I sauntered slowly to him and he whispered in my ears, ''You can thank me later.'' Only two minutes the teacher had said, but we ran off towards the library to the novel section. The hall was lifeless, no sound of footsteps, no chatter. We made our way through. We reached the library breathless, out of air. Hiding a smile, I entered the door. ''I was enjoying the class'' I lied. He knew i didn't like Spanish and nodding said either way, ''But I wasn't and I don't enjoy being here alone. No one else willingly came so I had to lie to get you here.'' He got up and brought few books. I knew he was lying so i didn't question him. He only came to me. We both knew that. It was our 4th time coming to the library, either to read or just have a long conversation about why the classes that suck do actually suck. I granted Arnab as my companion. We had been friends for what seemed like forever. Arnab had a way of reading in the most fluent, dramatic and calming way. He'd browse through the shelves, indecisively, reading the first page of every book he selected. I remember him looking through the pages facilely. He'd get so absorbed in a book where he'd forgot what he was searching for then he read while he stood, not realizing till i called him back to sit down. He would still be keeping his eyes on the page, not looking up as he walked over and yet, found his way back to exactly the same spot of the seat where he already sat as though he had the most profound guidance of a wee spirit. I'd glance up at him from my book, he had his eyes fixed firmly on the book that he'd forget i was there. That day, he wasn't reading. He kept looking back at me and sighing deeply for me to notice. I did not respond. He put his book down and started to hum breaking the rule of reading in silence. He started thudding and banging on the table in attempt to distract me from reading. I read one paragraph over and over, still, couldn't understand it due to the humming and thudding that vibrated on my earlobes. 'What?' I whined. He groused at me for not noticing his boredom. I told him I wasn't a saint. 'That's fair' he said, calmly. 'Tell me. Why do you hate Spanish? Why does it bore you? Or does it?' It does. ''First things first, It's not that i hate it, I just don't like it. I'm just not in the terms of learning another rudimentary language that sounds like grousing at someone or the language between two ogling hookers. I always feel like the teacher is cursing us students in that class while we sit ringing our heads thinking he's explaining something fascinating while he's just not and...." I kept on going, Arnab interrupted me saying ''I'm half Spanish, you know.'' I quickly fell silent. Suddenly, I realized that. I tried to improvise when i forgot what i was saying. I was embarrassed. I pretended to read. I could still feel eyes his staring at me. I was trying to preserve the facade of a good conversation. He spoke. ''Yeah, you're right. It does sound like you're yelling at someone in Spanish.'' I slowly raised my eyes up at him. I thought he was crying but he was laughing breathlessly facing up with both of us hands on his stomach. He chuckled hard and soft. I hated it. He poked me when i wasn't laughing along. 'Hey. Stop...Arnab. Stop it!'' I hollered at him. The whole library was curious. I started to giggle too. We quickly walked out of the library before anyone could complain. I felt vicious and despising eyes at us until we slipped out of the door.