I finish my risotto and then change in Asher's shirt, in which I've slept the night before. I grab the bottle of wine that was on the trolley and the two glasses and bring it to him. He pops the cork and pours the wine into the glasses I was holding. I take a sip of it and cuddle next to him, watching the series that had just started. I've recognised it, as the episode was a re-run and I once saw Bee watching it on our dorm's TV. She made a quick preview of the teen drama, but I didn't remember much of it besides the fact that the blonde who is on the screen now and her boyfriend are quite the detective duo of the show and are investigating a serial killer. Of course, Bee managed to spoil it for me and tell me that the blonde's dad is the killer, which made me even more uninterested by the series than I already was. I hate spoilers.
I drink the rest of the wine and place the glass on the bedstand. I crept closer to Asher, one arm spread over his chest and one hand entangled with his. He drops a kiss on my forehead and I raise my head, pouting my lips. He giggles, but kisses me softly. He breaks it the kiss soon and I frown at him, making him laugh again. I wrap my legs around him and raise myself a little, closing the gap between our lips. My hands travel to his bare chest, while I feel his on my thigs. I start moving slowly, the kiss becoming more passionately and the touches more full of need. He pulls the ends of my shirt and I yank it over my head, breaking the kiss and then making my way to his neck. But he decides to take control and spins us over, his mouth kissing the exposed skin bellow my collarbone and travelling down. I bite my lips and dig my nails into his back, wanting more.
"We should stop," he says in an uneven tone and I drag him closer, kissing him deeply.
"We shouldn't," I say when I stop to catch my breath. But he uses the opportunity to fall off me and onto the bed. I turn to the side and he brings me closer to him. "You know that I'm yours," I tell him and I see starlight glimmering in his green eyes.
"I know the charm isn't completely off yet," he argues and I shake my head.
"I don't need the charm to be off to know you're my soul mate, Asher. You made me fall in love with you without the aid of a mate bond. And I know I love you, with all my being."
"I love you too, Aline."
"Then trust me I'm sure about my feelings," I say in a pleading voice. "I don't want to waste any more time with you."
"But we have an eternity together, my love," he says reassuring and I barely keep my tears contained.
"You don't know that," I say in disbelief but he hugs me tighter.
"I do. Even if you're human, Lycan's mates receive the same immortality as the shifter after mating. This is why I'm so serious about it. Mates are literally linking their lives together."
"What do you mean linking?" I ask, a damned thought creeping into my mind. "Like, if one is hurt or dies..."
"The other feels it too," he replies and my heart starts beating faster and uneven.
"So if one mate dies, the other doesn't follow, right?"
"Technically, no. But it's pretty common for Lycans to die of a broken heart if they lose their mates."
"Is that an actual thing? Can someone die of a broken heart?"
"I don't know the medical terms for it, but it's true."
He must've seen the shock on my face, because he lifts my chin to gaze into my eyes, searching for answers at the unspoken questions between us.
"Why are you so worried about it?" He decides to ask and I try not to panic. It's so hard to lie when his eyes are staring directly into mine, my soul bare against his scorching gaze.
"Because of the competition, of course! You said it can be a real bloodbath and I wanted you to be a full Lycan before it got too intense. But now I'm afraid..."
"I told you there hasn't been a single death in the competition in decades, love," he assures me, but it doesn't help me at all. "Besides, I'm fighting against Chase and he is a Lycanthrope too."
"How? Didn't he and Bee do it?"
"Not yet. Béatrice told him that she doesn't feel ready to let go of her human life yet."
"Perhaps I'm to blame. I told Bee that she's rushing things when she wanted to have her mating ceremony this weekend with Phoebe."
Of course, I didn't know that I'll end up becoming the desperate one, wanting to complete the mating and rushing things in the frenzy caused by my oncoming death. Perhaps I didn't think this process through. It didn't make sense if it only helped the Lycans become their best selves. But the linking of souls is something clearly important and who should be treated with caution, exactly as Asher does. And I should prevent it from happening at all if I want to keep him safe.
"I didn't think of it like that," I say after a few moments of silence. "Perhaps I'm still perceiving it through the shallow perspective of a human. As you said, you can't divorce from it."
"I don't wish more than to complete the bond with you, but not before you'll truly want it."
His eyes were warmer now, still bright and still looking at me like I'm the only person that counts in the entire world. And my heart aches when I realise that it may be so to him, to any Lycan who is with their soul mate. And my soul nearly shattered to pieces when I started thinking about what will happen after.
What will I leave behind?
What am I sacrificing?
Am I really saving him, or he's as damned as I am?
I turned on the other side, facing the window and watching the clouded night sky, not a single light to guide me tonight. And I let a single tear stain my cheeks when I felt him hugging me closer, realising that I'm not a Moon gift for him.
I'm his worst curse.