Dr. Jonathan Crane:
"Be careful," I say, pointing at the ground. "That's a trap! Right where you're about to step."
"Okay," Mr. Jason Rusch says, stopping and stepping back.
"And also over there," I say, pointing a few tiles behind. "That's a trap too. And so is that. And that one. And also over there. That's a spike trap, Mr. Jaime Reyes. Step on that and some spikes will shoot out from the ceiling."
Mr. Jaime Reyes looking at where I'm pointing carefully moves his foot around the tiles.
"Okay," Mr. Jason Rusch screams, "This is fucking insane! How many traps are in this place! How the hell did you live here for three months without setting any of these off?"
"Who said I didn't set any of them off," I reply, stepping over a pit trap. "That's kind of how I learned about them in the first place. Professor Stein! Please be careful! You're about to step on a pressure plate!"
The professor's foot hanging in mid-air, I run over to him and gently push him back.
"This is a sort of gas trap if you will," I start, kneeling down in front of it. "It won't kill you, and it's not poisonous, but if you breathe it, you'll start hallucinating in seconds. I should know. This is one of the traps I accidentally activated."
"No offense," Professor Stein starts, "But how are you still alive if you set a bunch of these traps?"
"Luckily for me, a lot of the traps I stepped into were non-lethal. Besides the hallucinating gas, there was also the green glue trap, the thousand-pounds net trap, the rope snake trap."
"Wait, what," Mr. Bartholomew Allen interrupts. "The green glue trap? The thousand-pound net trap? The rope snake trap? What the hell are those?"
"The green glue trap is a trap that sprays you with a weird, green, glue-like goo that doesn't wear off. Only The Man can undo it. The thousand-pound net trap is, well a rope net that somehow weighs a thousand-pound or more. Apparently, only The Man can lift it off. The rope snake trap is, some sort of magical rope that, once set off, will wrap itself around your whole body and tied you down. Only--"
"The Man can undo the magical rope snake," Mr. Bartholomew Allen says, finishing my sentence. "Hmm. Traps he set that can only be undone by him."
"Speaking of him," Ms. Kara says, from behind Mr. Bartholomew Allen, "Is there anything you can tell us about him? I mean, anything you can tell us about 'The'?"
Letting out a sigh, I shake my head left and right.
"Unfortunately, no. I'm guessing, besides the fact that I know The Man likes to build traps, you guy know about as much as I do about him."
"You're kidding," Mr. Leonard Snart says. "You've been here for three months now and you don't know jack shit. How the hell is that possible?"
"The Man is a very, very private man. He never really talks about himself. Everything I know about him is just stuff I learned from watching. He's a skilled fighter, a master engineer, had a bunch of superpowers, I mean, like a bunch of superpowers. Oh, and he doesn't really like people. But I'm guessing you all already know that."
"Oh yeah," Mr. Jason Rusch answers, "We learned all of that the hard way. You know, when he kidnapped four of us and took us to Watchtower to die!"
"If I remember correctly, he took the five of you up there to blow up Watchtower in order to stop Superman from using the binary fusion cannon. For what it is worth, I did tell him that maybe he should ask you before teleporting any of you away, but I guess he skipped over that part."
"You blew up Watchtower," Mr. Leonard Snart asks, "Was that what that explosion in the sky was? Oh. I thought the fumes from my expired China foods were finally getting to me."
"So you don't know anything about him," Ms. Kara asks. "Anything at all? Not even his name?"
"No," I say, stopping to turn and face them. "No. I do not know the man's man. I literally do not know anything about him. I have tried to learn more about him, I really have, but in everything I do, he just walks away. Just shut up and walk away. Well, every once in a while, he'll flick me before shutting up and walking away."
"If the guy is such an asshole," Mr. Jason Rusch says, raising his hand. "Then why are you still here? Why not just leave?"
"Because of this."
Raising my arm, I pull down my sleeves and reveal to everyone my robotic hand. Pulsing off and on with some blue lights, I wiggle my fingers, the sound of metals rubbing against each other.
"What happened," Ms. Kara asks, walking forward. Reaching for my hand, I step back and pull it down.
"Holy hell," Mr. Leonard Snart says, "Sheesh. What did happen to you? I mean, the last time we saw each other, the world was going to hell via alien invasion and the two of us were taking orders from a talking gorilla."
Peeking down at my hand, at the part where flesh meets metal, I shove the whole thing into my coat pocket.
"Can we please just continue with the tour," I beg, nudging my head further down the hallway. "There are only a few more places I have to show you, and be warn, a few of the places have very, lethal traps."
"Out of all of them," Mr. Bartholomew Allen starts, "Which is the most dangerous?"
"Oh, that's an easy one. That would the mirror trap."
"Mirror," Professor Martin Stein repeats.
"The idea is that four mirrors would shoot up from the ground, trapping you in a small square. Before you can think of anything to do, the mirrors would then, somehow, heat up, the heat bouncing from mirrors to mirrors, eventually, frying and killing you."
All eyes are wide-open as they look at me.
"Yes," I say, adjusting my glasses. "That particular trap is in the library. 'The' said we can use it, but I really don't think so. I think, besides his personal room, his dojo, his laboratory, and the garage, that room is for him only."
"Speaking of 'The'," Mr. Jason Rusch interrupts, bumping a few out of the way. "Where is he?"
"I don't know."
The:
An explosion of smokes and metals shooting up into the ceiling, the lights to the Batcave dies and everything went dark.
"What the hell are you doing," Harleen screams, her screeching voice sounding like chalk against a blackboard. "Bats can see in the dark!"
"Yeah," I reply, "So can I!"
Seeing as clear as day Manbat as he flies toward Harleen and me, I bring my hands together and raise them above my head! Timing it just right, I slam them down on Manbat's head, his screeching voice bursting my eardrums!
"Shut up you," I yell, slamming his head again and knocking him out. "I like my eardrums!"
"I got it," Selina screams, holding up the computer drive! "I got it! Let's get us out of here!"
Seeing a mind-controlled Batman struggles to walk with three cats pulling him back, I pull a disc from my jacket and toss it. The disc bouncing off a few walls hit Batman in his head and knock him to the ground. Landing on the ground, a portal opens up.
"You'll be mad now and thankful later," I scream, grabbing Harleen and spinning her around. Grabbing enough momentum, I toss her into the portal.
Moving fast, running and jumping onto the railings, I pick up the cats as I run past Batman and to Selina.
"Again," I say, "Mad now, but thankful later."
Grabbing her and tossing her through the portal, the five of us then run and jump into the portal, escaping.