September 1812
The allegation of the whole town,
In my family,
Due to misinformation about me,
That I am the one accused of killing and despising the people of the town.
I have a high status in life,
But not once, I think highly of myself,
And degrade other people.
*****
It's September now. Much has happened in recent months. It never occured to me, that the normal life I have, will be replaced by bitterness and insults.
They have showed their true colors, they are no longer hiding their agenda to make friends with me. I became the most bullied person throughout the campus because of the bullies. Everyone despises me.
Their families are powerful, so every bullying and violations they commit are covered up. I remember last month, not a day goes by that I do not see bruises and wounds on my body, caused by their beating and cutting whenever I can no longer hold my emotions and I hear the whispering voice.
Right now, I am walking towards Ms. Monclair's office to request an update about the scholarship I submitted. Because the head of the dormitory will deliver that updates to me. I no longer have parents and no relatives outside who want to take my custody and to look out for me, I am really relying on myself now.
When I reached the door of her office, I remembered that my last visit here was when it was announced that mom was gone.
I removed that thought and knocked on the door three times before I entered.
"Goodmorning Ms. Monclair, I have something to ask from you regarding my scholarship?" I greet as I enter.
Her swivel chair is facing the window. The back of her chair is facing my direction.
"Ma'am? Should I leave first and come back later?"
Still no answer coming from her. I decided to approach where she was. Unexpectedly, as I got closer and closer to her, it was getting colder.
The office heater is on, why is it cold?
As I reached her table, there was a pungent odor coming from her. It smells like fish and garbage combined.
I covered my nose with the handkerchief I was carrying.
"Miss?" I grabbed her swivel chair and slowly rotated it to me.
It was as if I had lost my rationality because of what I just saw.
Her face is rotten and almost unrecognizable. There are also insects on her body. Her eyes, as if they were about to fall and would be removed from the attachment.
The bottom of her chair was also full of blood that I just noticed.
"H-how ... how did this happen" I burst into tears of fear, I can't take off my eyes on her.
I could not move myself on the floor I was sitting on. And I almost lost my breath when suddenly someone grabbed my shoulder.
"What are you doing there Eve? There is a couch here, why are you sitting on the floor?" when I heard the voice of Ms. Monclair I immediately shook her hand and walked away from his seat.
My whole body trembled watching her.
SHE IS DEAD! I SAW IT EARLIER!
"Y-y-you are dead! I saw you! You are seating here-" What I was about to say was cut short when I saw his seat vacant.
I even looked under the table and chairs because there I saw blood earlier. She walked closer to me, traces of concern on her face. But nevertheless, I still walked away from her, out of fear.
I just can't believe it! I saw her earlier, very clear.
I know it's her! How come she is standing now and the corpse is gone from her seat?!
She looks so perfectly fucking fine!
"Eve, are you okay? I know you are going now to ask infos about your scholarship, I just had to take care of something outside and when I got back here, you were already sitting on the floor and you are saying really strange things."
I am also confuse as hell! I don't know if it's true or if I'm just caricaturing what I saw.
"I- I saw you, your dead body ... you are seating on that chair ... how are you ... alive and talking to me right now?" I can't help to ease the shiver in my voice.
Her face immediately became serious. She told me about the curse, and with these things I am experiencing right now? I no longer hesitate to believe it.
"Is this happening to you often? Seeing and hearing strange things?" She asked and I nod. He invited me to sit on the couch then I answered.
"But mostly, I am hearing some kind of voice in my head. Then when I wake up in the morning, I will just see that I have cuts again." I showed him my arm. She examine my arms. The others are still a little hurt.
"I told you, it's all happening again. Maybe she has a new entry for this day, that's why you are seeing things." She let go of my arms.
"I'll treat my wounds first Ms. Monclair." I smiled.
"It's September, brace yourself and be careful. The longer it takes, the worse things are going on in Nirvana's life. I'm still not sure of my prediction, if you are really Nirvana at the moment ..."
Confused by the new information, I ask her. "You mean ... I am her reincarnation? Everything that happened to her in the past, is happening to me in the present?"
"I am not yet sure, Eve. You have the diary. Only you can open it, then you can discover what is happening. It may not be the exact same things that happened to her, but it may still be related to what will happen to you today. "
I feel exhausted, it is true what they said, be careful of what you wish for. I was bored with my normal life, scripted for me then. But now, I want it all back. Atleast my life was quiet and I was still with my mother.
"Thank you Miss. I will take your advice from here." I was about to leave, when she handed me an envelope.
"That's your confirmatory slip for the scholarship. Congratulations." She smiled. I grabbed the envelope and stood on the couch to leave.
I'm going back to my class because I'm almost late too. I hope there are no bullies now even just for today, I'm too tired to defend myself.
*****
I'm tired of fighting,
My body wants to give up,
The amount of hardship I go through,
When will all of this end?
Will darkness win?
-Nirvana Hermosa