She felt her heart racing in her chest. I can't do this. She thought and closed her eyes tightly against the fear she felt spreading throughout her body. She didn't even know him, how on Earth could her parents expect her to just go with him. They expected her to have children with a stranger. Gooseflesh broke out over her entire body.
"Severina!" She heard the sharp tone in her father's voice and steadied herself with a deep breath. She wanted to scream, run, and disappear all in the same instant. Instead she opened her eyes, set her jaw, and walked forward. She was careful as she descended the marble staircase. She hated how things had transformed back to the traditions of long ago that she had read about in her father's library. As her father so eloquently told her, it was what it was. There was no way for things to change back. Most of the farmland had been destroyed during the third World War between the Allies and The Regime. Their home had been outside of the fallout zone, and they had enough sustainable land to remain successful. With that success had come power for her father. Now that more survivors discovered the remaining fertile land, alliances were made between close farms. Money meant nothing anymore, but trades were made in the form of arranged marriages. This not only kept their offspring healthy, it helped cement alliances between the remaining families. This helped when the outliers raided the remaining farms for resources. Severina shivered. She had heard about the outliers before, but had never seen one. Her father described them to her in detail one evening after he had more wine than usual. The twisted faces haunted her nightmares. Many of them had been exposed to high doses of radiation and other chemical warfare which had mutated them into things that no longer resembled humans.
Severina focused on her steps so she did not trip on her dress. Her mother had picked an off-white dress with a low back for her wedding dress. It helped hide her cleavage, which she had always been self-conscious about. She stopped at the entrance to her father's library and took a deep breath. She gritted her teeth and then walked through the double doors. At once she saw the man whom in several minutes she would be married to. She saw her mother's anxious face forcing a smile. She was as unhappy about the arrangement as Severina was, but there was nothing they could do. They needed protection from the outliers, and Sam Stackhouse was in command of a small army. His father had taken over an abandoned bunker after the soldiers had all left the area. With his help, they would likely never suffer another raid again. It meant safety for those that worked on her father's farm, as well as for her parents.
Her father's impatience was palpable. His blond eyebrows were furrowed deeply, making him look as though he could be her grandfather. Severina stepped forward until she was standing next to Sam. She avoided looking at him, afraid that she would no longer have the ability to control her tears. Her father took a ring from his pocket, and Sam's father took a ring from his own pocket. Severina's father presented the ring to Sam, while Sam's father presented the ring to Severina. They each offered their left hands, and with that the marriage ceremony was complete. An observer could be blissfully unaware that any type of ceremony had just concluded. The dark library seemed more appropriate for a funeral or a seance.
Severina felt empty inside. The weight of the ring felt heavier than any other burden she had carried. She attempted to catch a glance of Sam's face, but he appeared stoic and cold. She waited for her father to dismiss her, so the men could talk about what this alliance meant.
"Severina you may go pack your things." Her father said with the wave of his hand. She left without saying a word. Her mother's eyes were moist, and she was afraid if she said anything she would burst into tears. Any type of action her father perceived as disrespect was something he would take a deep offense to. She pulled her dress up so she wouldn't trip over the hem and took the stairs two at a time. Once inside her room, she shut the door behind her and sagged against it. The sob that she had attempted to keep inside escaped. She covered her mouth and sank down to the floor. Her dress puddled on the floor around her. She allowed herself five minutes to cry. She felt she had earned her breakdown. Severina flung her white ballet flats off and quickly changed out of her wedding dress into jeans and a sweater. She packed a backpack with the things she would miss if she left behind. One of them was a photo of herself and her mother. She packed another bag with her clothes and shoes. Once she was done she sat on the bed and looked around the room that she would never set foot inside again. She wasn't sure what her father would do with the room, but she knew it would never be the same. With her gone he was free to adopt another child and use that marriage to form other alliances. To her father, she was a business deal meant to secure his own future. She expelled a breath she hadn't been aware of holding and felt another sob threatening to break loose. You can't. She thought and shook her head. She wouldn't allow herself another breakdown. She laid the dress out over her bed so her mother would see it when she came back into the room.
A soft knock at the door startled her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stood up. Severina crossed the room to the door and opened it slightly. She barely recognized her husband. You've only seen him once. She thought and tried not to frown.
"I can carry your bags." He said softly. His voice was deep. She thought she saw kindness in his dark blue eyes, but she was afraid to be sure. She nodded and opened her door further. No other man besides her father had ever been inside her room. She watched him pick up her bags and turn to carry them downstairs.
"Thank you." She heard her voice crack as she said it. He stopped for a moment in the doorway, and then continued into the hall and down the stairs. She wondered what he was going to say to her and then decided it wasn't important. This was a business deal, if she was lucky they would learn how to tolerate each other as husband and wife. Severina looked around her room one last time longingly before she followed her husband out of her childhood home forever.