—a short chapter.
With everything above me immediately shrinking due to my fast descent, all I could really discern was how big the moon was and how the tiny sprinkles of the galaxy twinkled at me as if congratulating me of finally achieving my long-awaited freedom.
Despite feeling the strong wind mercilessly hit my back like a gushing river flow, I oddly found my peace in the middle of this supposedly distressing situation; I felt like a newly freed bird finally taking her first flight towards the clear sky of springtime even if in reality, I was actually getting even further away from the night sky of December.
It was as if every single suppressed emotion that shackled me throughout my entire life were finally releasing me.
...if only I had known that I would feel like so in this kind of situation... I would have surely attained my freedom way earlier than tonight...
...I would have even picked a higher building to prolong this tranquility even for a mere second...
However, through this few seconds of serenity, I still managed to remember one thing;
'...I heard people who have faced near-death situations have seen the faces of their loved ones flash before them...', I closed my eyes and smiled, savoring my remaining moments before continuing...
'...how unfortunate... I guess I will not be experiencing any of that tonight...'
—with that tragic statement serving as my last, I felt a moment of immense pain
before completely blacking out.
•••
I gasped.
Wheezing for air, I suddenly cringed to suppress myself from shrieking.
I've been waking up like this, these days — blankly staring at this familiar ceiling while enduring this squeamish sensation of having my insides splattered onto the ground and my bones crushed into millions of pieces.
...it was as if the impact of my fall remained even after dying...
'...dying, huh. How funny of me to think like so when I'm here, able to think and breathe just fine...', I thought before covering my eyes with one arm.
To be perfectly honest, I'm still quite unsure of what really is happening, but I do think I get the gist of it after desperately racking my brain for a couple of days.
The answer I came up with?
...It seems that I've come back to the past...
I know it sounds ridiculous, however, if it's not that, then... how can one explain my current situation?
This is the place I can confidently describe as peaceful, the place that I've grown very fond of, the place I spent my childhood days — the place I wanted to go back to...
I would definitely be lying if I said I don't feel at peace inside this haven but it does feel rather strange, to spend my days in a place I wanted so desperately to visit, enough to threaten those.... people...
My thoughts halted.
As my mind blanked out, my senses heightened.
The sound of the heavy raindrops, the rumbling of the thunder, and even the rough howl of the cold wind as it thrashed the old windows, inside this shabby cottage – where the scent of the drenched earth can easily infiltrate the space, together with the moldy scent of old paper from the countless old books that this place has been sheltering ever since before I was even born – a sense of an unknown nostalgia and tranquility effortlessly permeated the air.
'This night would have been the perfect time to leisurely think through stuff...', I was just about to finish the sentence inside my mind when the chimes on the door downstairs clanked together, indicating someone's arrival.
I continued, '...if not for that...'
I heaved a heavy sigh before deciding to get out of the bed, cover my white night gown with a shawl, and wobble my way towards the railings of this second floor bedroom — ignoring the soreness of my body in the process.
That's right, tonight is the beginning of my end.
After slowly walking barefooted towards the railings, I felt my heart turned cold as I stared straight at the two suited men standing on my doorstep. They look emotionless and stiff — if not for their wandering eyes betraying them, one would find it difficult to understand that they were entranced by how my house was filled with books.
With my eyes, as people would describe it, expressing nothing but a cold void...I smiled. "...my, isn't it quite unexpected for two gentlemen to visit a young lady's house at such an hour?"
Finally gaining their attention, they looked up towards my direction.
I extended the smile on my face, expressing my urge to scare them off a little. "...oh well, what can I do but to welcome the both of you...", I mumbled, enough for them to hear it. I delicately stepped on the stairs as I caressed the stair's handrail, softly heading downstairs.
Once I reached the last step, I continued. "...I couldn't possibly send two pitiful souls out in this cold weather, could I?", I coldly stared straight at them, smiling wider.
Receiving an almost inconspicuous gulp from the both of them as a response, I turned my back on them and headed towards the kitchen.
Satisfied, I asked, "...would you like a cup of coffee? Please wait and sit comfortably in the meantime."
I took my time to brew the coffee, making sure that it would suit my taste... and of course, to subtly make them wait while letting them think of me as a witch.
I almost chuckled at the thought. '...ah, how the tables have turned...', I smirked.
In the past — or let's say, in my previous life, I was too naive and too kind for my own good that when they came here uninvited at such a suspicious time, I was fidgety and treated them like some kind of lords who I owed my life to.
Letting them witness that... was my first mistake.
My eyes narrowed, contemplating on whether to put poison on their drinks or just spit on it.
In the end, I chose to do neither. 'It would be a waste to damage the quality of such great beans.', I thought while walking out of the kitchen with the tray on my hands.
I delicately put the cups on the wooden table. "...I apologize for my house's inadequacies but I could only offer you as much."
One deeply frowned and the other, cleared his throat. "...excuse me, miss... I think you've miscounted..."
I hid a laughter when I saw at their faces. I brought out four cups when it is very clear that there were only three people present... inside, that is..
I tilted my head with my unchanging smile, "...don't you think it would be too cruel of us to let your friend freeze to death outside while we enjoy a cup of hot coffee inside?"
As soon as they realized what I've spouted, they widened their eyes at me.
"*sighs* This is just absurd.." I mumbled with a hoarse voice as I stared at the vanity mirror.
With a snow white hair beautifully cascading down to her waist, alluringly sharp gray orbs, pouty cherry lips, and milky white skin, she exudes a very different kind of "beautiful" when compared to me who was born with dark locks, and ebony colored eyes.
I was certainly blessed with an above average face, however, this girl... if she's not a goddess, I don't know what else to call her.
The first time I realized this, I fainted in disbelief.
...well, who wouldn't — when you get bombarded by the place's unfamiliarity and get welcomed by this face in the mirror the first time you open your goddamned eyes and realized that you've probably become someone else — who. wouldn't.
It confused me to the point of becoming mad and continued to feel like so for a couple of days while staying secluded inside this room, denying every single conclusion that I've thought up until now.
It took me several more days to slowly let everything sink inside of my head and reach my current situation where I can accept the fact that I've really become someone else.
Now that I think about it, how I got through this mess without completely losing my mind IS a wonder.
Or maybe I did lose my mind, maybe I've gone crazy at some point and that resulted to me having these delusions. Ugh! Thinking about it makes my empty stomach to churn. I don't think I have the appropriate mental capability to logically think in this kind of situation.
'My brain's overloading and I feel like I'm on the verge of becoming an idiot because of too much information...', sighing everything that I was thinking of, I started to undress and head towards the shower.
'I need to immediately calm down and declutter the mess inside my head before that happens.', I thought before letting my thoughts go along the trickling water and down the drain.
After a long while of relaxing my mind under the warm water, I threw myself on the bed again.
As I found myself staring at the ceiling once more, unfamiliar memories started to slowly flash before me.
"...You've led a lonely life as well, I see...", I mumbled.
Soleil Kim — a celebrity (infamously) known by many.
Born with a silver spoon, she was spoiled by the people around her, enough for her to grow up rotten to the very core.
She has a really nasty personality and because of her behavior towards other people, she's been openly despised by many.
She never cared though, so long as she could do whatever she wanted, everyone's glare never bothered her...
...even when her relationship with her family, who spoiled her rotten, soured because of her hasty decisions, she never really cared...
...at least, until the night her temperature suddenly skyrocketed...
Perhaps it was because of her high fever that made her reflect on her past actions, but she regretted her decisions — she reflected and realized how lonely she led her life.
Thus, she decided to talk everything out with her family and try to apologize to the many people she wronged after her fever subsided.
...however, everything was already too late.
With no one knowing her condition, no one by her side to take care of her, she suffered and slowly passed away inside her own bedroom.
...I can vividly remember her last moments as if they're all mine... and the loneliness that drowned her at that time is suffocating me as if... I was... her.
I furrowed my brows at my own irritating thought. 'She is Soleil and you are you. We are different persons, so do not confuse yourself with her.'
Still irked by the emotion, I was carrying, that did not even belong to me, I said, "You could have just called for anyone, you know. Your phone was by your side the whole time..."
However, residing inside her body and bearing her memories, I knew the truth. She didn't want to admit that she needed help from anyone until the very end. She thought she could overcome everything on her own.
Turned out, she could not.
"I cannot pity nor call you stupid, though. It was your decision that killed you... as how it was for me as well.", a scoff escaped my mouth and a melancholic smile appeared on my face as I recalled my past that contained its own fair share of stupidity.
~GrrrRrRggG~
I frowned.
I looked around the room and searched for the source of the funny sound.
~gGggRrrRRrRRrGgGgGgg~
I furrowed my brows deeper before sitting up on the bed. "What the heck is that? Sounds like a sea monster or something..."
~gGgGGgGGGGgGGRRRrRRrgGGGgGg~
This time, something similar to a sheepish smile made its way to my face before I slowly looked down.
~gGgGGGGgGGGrrrRRrRrGgGgGgGGgGGGGgGG~
Oh...
...I guess I'm hungry...