The sun was up. I could sense the rays falling on my face. "Uff its cold" I pulled the blanket to cover up the most. "why is it so cramped? I should get a new bed." I murmured in my sleep. I felt a soft kiss on my forehead. I smiled. 'Mom. I miss you. Next time I meet you I will tell you about everything.' I thought in my sleep. And later I opened my eyes and jumped up suddenly. I looked around the room. 'lighthouse' I thought. The room looked really shabby. The table with the candle burned out. Empty beer cans Chips bags lying down and the half-finished bottle of wine lying down along with the tossed chair. Luckily the bottle is not broken. And I looked at myself, covered in blanket sleeping with a beautiful man next to me, our phone and clothes lying down near the couch. 'I slept with him, I slept with a guy. I got drunk and let myself sleep with a guy' reality hit me hard as I came back to my senses. I recalled everything that happened the day before and it ringed a bell. 'My huge failure, a crush, and alcohol have made me sleep with a person I just met that day. Holy fuck' I got out of the couch, without waking him up. I didn't want to look at his face when he wakes up. Because I don't know how I should face him after sleeping with thinking what he would think of me. he surely will know this is my first time. I should run away. I have committed a great sin enough to get me kicked out of the house. I sat for a moment after dressing up, putting own his hoodies, and holding my heart, that was literally exploding inside thinking of what I have done, thinking of the consequences about to come and thinking of leaving him behind and accepting the reality it is only a 'one-night stand.' I got scared. Not a soul should know that I of all the people gave away myself. I collected my phone and kept his clothes folded on top of the table. I took the wine bottle and kept in back in the chair and looked at him for a moment. A man that I have created a memory with, 'why does he look so handsome and peaceful even in his sleep.' That was all I could think. I leaned and gave him a soft kiss. I prayed that he should forget me, that he doesn't wake up right now and silently left the place.
Half an hour later, I cried all the way down walking through the beach to the bus stop. I got on in one and went back to the city. I tried hard to remember what his name was, but then I knew that both of us do not know even our names each other. My heart was aching inside so much that I wanted just to become invisible and forever fade away. The reality was all coming back. I can't go back home, I have to prepare for my exams and cover up all the classes I skipped for the scripts and writing. And of all, I have to tell my heart to not fall for him. I didn't care if anyone was staring at me, I cried on the bus until I reached my place. I didn't know where to end nor where to begin. I dried my face and got into the hostel silently and decided to lock myself in the room for the next two days.