In the queer streets of Boston, a lady in her early thirties, wearing a brown velvet jacket with maroon and purple feathers on her collar; Ms. Melanie Ross; rushes off to the police station, in her (red) 2 1/2 inch heels, so that she could return the white handbag that was left behind by a seemingly cordial gentleman on the bus that she just rode on. And after filling the police in with the story, she had decided to head towards the nearby abattoir as to meet her friend, Carl from high school.

This was the beginning of a story that completely changed my life, to the better or for the worst is for you all to decide.