Of all people I could've been sharing a room with, it was this guy. I would've been fine with anyone else, but of course, the world has cursed me in a way that I just can't handle. How do I know? We're both sitting on our beds in silence, awkwardly watching each other on our own corners of the room.
"So let me get this straight.. You're my roommate?" He crossed his arms, looking skeptical.
"I don't see what the big problem with it is. If anyone should be feeling sorry for themselves here, it's me." I replied in a snark.
"Oh well excuse me your majesty." He rolled his eyes.
Another long moment of silence passed, and I took the time to unpack most of my things into my dresser and along the right side of the room. All I can be thankful for in this situation is that we didn't have to share bunk beds.
"Look, dude." The boy seemed to hesitate as the gender rolled off his tongue. "Just stay out of my way, and we won't have any problems, kapeesh?" He huffed.
I glanced his way, narrowing my gaze for a moment, then I thought to myself. What if this guy was my next chance at making a good friend, that was actually a guy for once. I couldn't really pass up something as murky as this, no matter how much of a jerk he was. I hadn't realized myself that I had gone entirely silent in the presence of his so called question. I hadn't even given myself enough clearance to breath before I just popped the idea out.
"Why don't we just.. Start over?" I stopped my packing to turn and look at him with uncertainty.
He was quiet for a moment, as if I had just asked him the most ridiculous question on planet earth. He finally broke out with a hearty laugh from the stomach, shaking his head in the midst.
"What?" I asked through a wavering tone. Was he laughing at me?
"You're so entitled." He said between chuckles. "You notice that somethings off in your world, and you want to fix it because it's not set in the way that you want it to. Well let me tell you something, baby cheeks." He rose from the bed to lean down to me from his 6,4 stance.
Baby cheeks? Seriously?
"You can't fix everything." He whispered tauntingly with a grin, then lifted his hands to the sides of my head to give off an exploding gesture, as if my mind was blown. He suddenly let out another few laughs.
I remained silent until he finished, afraid to look up. "You didn't answer my question.."
"Oh, but I thought I was just a waste of space? Why would you care to ask me any sort of questions? Aren't there thousands of other people out there who want to be in my position? Aren't I just a smoking, drinking, party animal who doesn't give two shits about my education?"
I hated when people cursed. It was such a waste of vocabulary. If anything, it made me flinch when he said the 'S' word. The thing that bothered me most was that I had nothing to say in return. I did say that.
My ticket of silence gave him the message that I understood what he said. "That's what I thought." He stood back up straight and grabbed his bag from the foot of his bed. "Now, as I said before." He slung the pack over his shoulder. "Stay out of my way, and we won't have any problems." He headed past me to the door, slamming it closed behind him.
An eerie silence filled the room and made my heart sink. I recognized this feeling all too well. Loneliness. I felt it all through high school, when I was invisible to everyone. I felt it when I was entrapped in my locker, darkness and cramping filling the space. I felt it when I moved away from home, and the pain engulfing my mothers expression when I drove away. This feeling I got was from nobody being able to see me. No one saw me.
This boy didn't see me either.
A few hours had passed now, and I was finished setting everything up on my half of the room. I took the time to rest in bed while reading my newest book, "A Monster Calls." In a way, I felt a lot like the main character, Conor O'Mally. He had his very own monster, and I had mine.
Just as I was getting to the good part of my story, the door slammed closed and my roommate walked backed into the room, bloodshot eyes refusing to glance my way. A cloud of smoke wafted from his body, stinging my nostrils and forced me to blink my eyes in disbelief.
Who did this guy think he was?
Before I could point out his putrid stench to him alone, I stopped myself when I realized that he was completely and utterly stoned. The idea of talking to a mindless zombie was entirely useless. I returned to my book, allowing him to continue his abilities while I continued mine.
The rest of the night went smoothly, other than the few strange noises that were emitted from the guys mouth at random points. I ignored him, however- and finished off the book. I set it on my bed stand, then turned to pull the covers over my back. At my old dorm, I liked to sleep in my undergarments, but self consciousness had gotten the better of me. To hell with the idea of stripping in front of this dude.
Excuse my French, please.
I settled myself for sleep, fluttering my eyes closed at the slightest urge for exhaustion. My relief was short lasting one the guy started... Singing?
I wasn't exactly sure what, but he was singing for sure. I didn't bother checking to see what he was doing while singing, so I just took my chances. I forced my eyes closed and kept them that way...
All until slept had finally blessed me with its presence...
——-
So sorry for the late update! This COVID stuff has got me running in circles, believe me. Homework is a bit heavy right now, but I'll keep trying my best to post regularly! Stay safe and healthy y'all! <3