My heart dropped. I had come all this way, only to hear this?!
I had long since expected that things would turn out this way, but it hurt so much more when my fears were established by someone else.
But the dwarf wasn't finished with talking yet.
"From what I heard from those people earlier and from you. It seems… no there is a better way to explain it."
He grabbed two pieces of paper from the left side of his table. One was blank and the other was covered in writing. It was written in another language, so I had no idea what it was about. But before I could ask the dwarf was already talking.
"Let's say that this paper filled with writing is a normal demon and the blank one is you. Now where did I leave my pen?"
He stood up and started searching through the room. Eventually, after hitting his head against the table, he found the pen.
"Now, where was I? you are the still blank paper."
He started to make some scribbles on the paper.
"Right now, your soul and mind are slowly altering to fit your new body. Those are the black scribbles on the paper.
But you are trying to fight it. You try to stop moving the pen."
As the dwarf spoke so did, he also stop making scribbles on the paper and let the pen follow a small circle on the paper instead. A black stain was created that quickly expanded due to the amount of ink that the paper tried to absorb.
"As you can see, the ink will flow down into a dark puddle and when enough ink drains into the paper."
The paper became soft on the spot where the pen was making circles, and with just one last tiny movement of the pen a hole was made. A hole with a black outline that kept expanding until it wasn't provided enough ink anymore.
"As you may have realised, a hole is much, much worse than just some crackles."
"Then what do I need to do?"
I already had an idea what it was, but I didn't want to believe it, not until he said it. And maybe not even after that. However, yet again the dwarf spoke out my fears.
"You need to stop pretending that you are human. Because you are no longer one."
In confusion and anger I yelled. "I came here in hopes of becoming human again! and now you're telling me that I should just become a full-on demon?!"
"Yes.
This is real life. You don't always get a happy ending. You don't always regain what is lost. But right now, you can prevent yourself from losing even more of yourself. You can strike the crackles flat, but you can't simply fill such a hole."
I tried to clam down a little. When a few seconds had passed and I was able to speak at a normal tone again, I asked.
"So, you are saying that I should protect what I still have in stead of trying to regain what is lost and losing everything that I still have in the prosses?"
"Yes, and no. remember, we have never seen something like this before. There is a chance that there is still a way to reverse your condition."
"But if I try to be more like the other demons. Do I even still want to become human again after that? What I f I become as evil as them?"
"I can't tell you that. And if you lose your way only because of that, then maybe you weren't on the right path to begin with."
Grinding my teeth while nearly falling in despair, I asked the dwarf.
"Then what should I do?"
"Go to hell."
"Wait what?"
I was stunned. Why would going to hell help me in this situation?
The dwarf grinned. Something that felt rally uncomfortable considering what he had been telling me for the last few minutes.
"you need to stop holing back and act more like a demon, and where is a better place to learn how to properly act like one than the place where they come from? Besides if you were to die in this world, there is no telling where you would go since you have yet to make a connection with hell. You may not be as lucky as you were back then and remain trapped in… wherever you were. It will be much safer and easier to summon you again when we at least know in which realm you are."
I was scared, confused, furious and sad. All these emotions raced through my mind without a proper way to act on them.
I still didn't like the idea one bit. But I had to agree now otherwise I would only make excuses for myself in order to postpone it as much as possible or not even go at all.
"fine."
"Now please tell me your name."
I tilted my head in confusion. "What do you need my name for?"
"Well to eventually summon you of course. Otherwise I might accidentally let a demon lord in."
He leaned back in his chair like it was the most natural thing in the world to talk about sending someone to hell and then summon them again. It made me wonder what this dwarf has been through to make this seem so normal.
"My name is Gustave, although the other demon and Yerald called me Rubedo."
The dwarf nodded and noted it down.
"The second name you said… did you accept that name?"
"I guess."
"Okay. Now let's get back to the city so you can tell your friends that you will be away for a little while."