Never in my whole life did I get to experience this kind of thing.
I have always held back my feelings, tried my best to hide it with a mask, and make sure that nobody knows my struggles for I already know that I am a burden and if I let my tears fall more and more, I feel like I'm already dragging everyone with me—like I already did with Shan.
And even if I am in tears, just as I found out, I never really felt anything. I always know whenever I'm on the verge of crying; like everyone else, my heart clenches, a lump burdens my throat, and my eyes starts to warm up but I guess I was too numb and tired to even feel those things.
Heck, I didn't even know I was crying until Lucas told me so!
I sniffed, and asked myself why did this happened for it's against my own will and for a moment, I knew how my face looked like—horrified and confused, just like Lucas. But then, I might know the answer as to why am I being like this.
