I looked behind me at the familiar voice.
"Hey Tim, I didn't wake you up coming out here, did I?" The man shook his head at me and walked closer.
"No, I wasn't asleep, to begin with. Too much going on in my head." I knew all too well about that topic.
"What's going on?" I asked curiously; I wanted to see if he was worried about the same things that I was. Tim didn't talk for a moment like he was trying to think about what to say.
"It just feels like... we were finally getting this new world, you know? Things were making sense; we were all growing to be happy here despite being separated from our families." He paused and looked down sadly. "Things don't make sense anymore, you know?" I did know, and I also missed how it was just a couple of months ago, we had bound together as a group and were studying for our exams. Now the thought of what war was going to be like invaded our thoughts on a daily basis.
"Hey, Tim?" He looked up at me, and the moon came out for a second. I don't know why, but I felt like I should memorize this view of him. There were some snowflakes gently landing on his face, and I couldn't help but think that he was 'beautiful' at this moment. I forced my mind to go back to the topic that I had in mind before it had wandered. "Did you ever see combat while you were in the military?" Tim smiled gently at me and answered the question.
"No. I was never deployed. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm scared." I must have gotten a defensive look on my face because he rolled his eyes at me. "You can admit it! You're scared too! We're about to be on a battlefield. A lot of people will die; it could even be one of us."
"Don't say that!" I interrupted him. "We will keep each other safe; we always have before!" Tim shook his head at me.
"No Todd, we haven't. Nothing about what we've been through has kept us safe. You and Grace almost died multiple times, Sarah, Derek, and Laura try their best, but they're so young, and I know that they haven't felt truly safe a day since we got here!" I didn't know why, but his voice was steadily rising until it was almost at a yell.
"Why are you saying this stuff? None of us have died! And they know that we care about them, they know that we won't let anything happen to them. Just like how I won't let anything happen to Grace or you!" My voice level was rising to meet his.
"You can't promise that kind of stuff out there! You have to accept that reality! Because if you don't, if you lose one of us, you will never forgive yourself. I know you you'll just keep beating yourself up about it until you go crazy!" Tim's voice cracked a little bit during his words, and although I could no longer see his face, I had a feeling that he was crying.
"And you won't? I know you too, you know. You're the guy that shuts down every time I get hurt! Why is that? Weren't you just saying that we needed to accept reality?" Tim went silent when I said this. Just then, Grace exited the house.
"What is all of this yelling about? You're going to wake the others, you know!" She came out, scolding us. Tim and I looked away from each other; our feelings were hurt; it didn't matter that the real fighting hadn't even started yet. We were already letting this war affect us. Grace could tell it as well. "Get over here, you idiots." Neither of us moved until she put on her mom voice that she had adopted when we were in trouble. "Now."
The two of us walked over to the Paladin, neither of us looking at the other for fear that we might start fighting again.
"Listen-" Grace started. "You're both right. Todd,-" She looked at me. "We will all do our very best to keep everyone safe; the younger ones feel the same about us. And Tim." She turned to look at the Cleric. "We do need to accept the reality of the situation. But you can't turn on each other, and you sure can't fall apart if something happens to one of us!" This was the reason that we all looked up to her.
It wasn't the fact that she was a skilled fighter, or that she worked hard to provide for us. It was during these moments, the ones that genuinely mattered, that you could see her skill as a leader.
"You two are best friends, and soon you'll be supporting each other on the battlefield. Don't spend the last few days that you have of peace being mad at each other over something that could or couldn't happen." It was obvious that she was right, I was about to open my mouth to apologize, but Tim beat me to it.
"I'm sorry, Todd, I just keep thinking about what would happen to all of you guys if I wasn't with you anymore. I don't want you to blame yourself if anything happens to me." I shook my head and began my apology.
"I feel the same way, but I don't even like to think about you guys being gone, or me. You were right when you said that I was scared." Grace smiled at the two of us.
"Now, hug." She said playfully. We rolled our eyes but did as she asked of us. I could feel Tims warmth, and it made me realize once again how cold it was out here. "Now, kiss!" Grace continued the joke. We laughed and separated from each other. Grace rolled her eyes; she couldn't help it. In her head, all she could think about was how dense these two men were.
We went to bed shortly after this exchange, but my mind was still reeling. I'd never gotten into a fight with any of my friends before. I never even thought that it would happen, we were all so close, and most of the time, we were too busy trying to survive that it didn't even occur to me that it could happen. I wanted to keep apologizing but decided against it; the subject was closed after all.
I didn't sleep very well; my mind was wracked with nightmares about my friends dying in gruesome ways during battle. I would just watch as they fell one after the other unable to help them in any way. In the morning, I woke up in a cold sweat and looked around. My friends were still sleeping peacefully, and I was glad that everything was just a dream. Deciding that I couldn't sleep anymore, I decided that I would go outside and tend to my garden.
It was so peaceful in the little enclosed space, just my plants and me. In the cold morning air, they were doing about as well as they could be. Some of the flowers and fruits were wilting away. I supplied them with some energy from the growth skill, and they regained some of their color. Happy with my work, I headed back towards the house.
I stopped by my Daysprinkle and talked to it for a short time and used my growth skill on it as well. Ever since I had found out how to make it grow, I'd tried to talk to it every day, and it did seem to be working pretty well with my skill. I couldn't make it shoot up a foot or anything, but it was now up to my knees, at least. Sarah had gotten up, and now she was behind me, readying a fire for warmth and for breakfast.
"Good morning!" I greeted her, and she did the same. Her voice didn't have the same cheer to it as it usually did. 'I wonder if she heard me and Tim argue last night. We weren't exactly quiet about it.' She had, but she decided to keep that to herself. All of the younger ones had heard the commotion but thought it would be best not to bring it up.
The others were all stirring from their slumber now and heading outside. Meanwhile, I decided That I would go make a couple more potions for our stock. I began mixing ingredients and using my portable potion maker. I had made a couple of Witch Fires and decided that I would move onto some healing potions. As I began the process to make the potions, I heard a knock at our front door.
I wish that I'd never opened the door. I wish that I had pretended that I wasn't home. That no one lived here, maybe then they would have gone away. But I did, I answered the door, and there stood two men in what I recognized as military uniforms. They handed me a stack of six individual papers—one for each of the members of my party, including myself.
They apologized for intruding then left. In my hands, I held a stack of draft papers. The time had finally come. We were going to war.