Emmeline watched the Packard head down the drive and out of sight. She was alone and she would be for the rest of the day. Ania and Matthew were at school, Gregory would go and work as a laborer at the local farm, while there was still crops to take care of. She would be alone for several hours, it never really bugged her before. But now she despised the loneliness and she didn't want to go back to the status quo.
She continued to stare out the window trying to understand her feelings. Was she angry? No, her feelings were so much more than simply being angry, it was overwhelming grief. Emmeline almost felt as if someone had died. Mathew would come back today but, one day he wouldn't come back and he would forever leave the Octagon House. That thought alone was enough to send her into a serious depression.
She shook her head in an attempt to shake the thoughts. But her mind kept replaying in her mind like a broken record. She had been curt with Matthew this morning and she felt overwhelming guilt! How could he possibly understand what she was feeling? Short answer, he couldn't. She was dead and he was alive.
While Emmeline cleaned up the mess and she couldn't help but notice the wave of melancholy and it was almost suffocating. She noticed the flowers in the vase, and smiled. Leaving the mess halfway done she decided to go to the library. She pulled out a nondescript book and a wider smile reached her face. She opened the diary, filled with pressed flowers given to her by Ania and Matthew. Each flower and each page a memory for her to cherish. Each time Emmeline received flowers she would put them in a vase to bring color to the room. When the flowers started to wilt, she pressed them into her diary with a short note about the date and the reason for the flowers. She came to her diary whenever her mind was in chaos as the flowers had the ability to shine light and gladness where there was none.
Emmeline sat down on her chair and decided to flip through the book in an attempt to raise her spirits. She read through each page carefully and each flower was a precious memory to her. They may have saved Matthew but really the saving was mutual. Matthew had saved her, he had saved them all. They didn't even know that they needed to be saved. Maybe Matthew was the reason they were unable to cross over. They had been waiting for his arrival. By his arrival at the Octagon House, their small world became infinitely larger and worthwhile. They were more than just dead. They were raising a little human child. She laughed to herself, she would like to think they were doing a good job.
Emmeline flipped through the book recalling the memories associated with each pressed flower. She came upon a yellow winter pansy and smiled. The first Christmas they had at the house was an odd one. Gregory, Ania, and herself wanted to create a wonderful time for the boy. Emmeline made a feast (with assistance from Ania) of all the best Christmas dishes she could think of. She knitted him a new sweater and pair of socks and wrapped them in some old papers they had in the cellar. It wasn't a big Christmas, but it was the best they could do. Unbeknownst to Emmeline, Matthew and Ania found winter pansies that had been blooming and the night before Christmas they picked the flowers, being careful so that they present them the next day. When she received her gift Emmeline wanted to cry and she felt a temporary pain in her chest. Emmeline had watched him smile, but she could see the pain behind his eyes. It was his first Christmas without his parents. They had tried to make up for it ten-fold but, they understood that there was nothing they could do and only time could heal those wounds.
Emmeline smiled contentedly at the memory glad she had thought of this book to ease her troubled mind.
After reading the entirety of the book Emmeline had found a calmness that she had been lacking. Her melancholy, anger, and grief had subsided. She felt better than she had earlier, when the three had left for the day.
Emmeline thought about how him being there expanded her world. He was all of their extensions into the real world, he was the link. Emmeline closed the book gently and put it back pulling out another notebook instead. This one was different than her pressed flowers book. This was her notes and observations of Matthew. She knew there was something unique about him.
Emmeline wondered, what if he could make her world larger? What if she could leave the estate? She knew that she couldn't leave on her own, but what if? What if with his help she could leave? She thought about the electricity, pain, warmth, or chill that would sometimes course through her when he hugged her or held her hand. When he came back she would definitely have to test that theory, maybe it would work. She didn't get her hopes but she was looking forward to trying.
But as she thought about it, there were other things she wanted to try as well. Never more in this moment did she want to leave the world and experience it with the other three. In this moment, her mind was working quickly, what ifs flying all over the place. She made notes in the journal, anything that crossed her mind she made note of, she would try it all. Depending on the results would change her line of questioning. Her mind was reeling with possibilities but it would still be hours yet before he would be home before anyone came home.
In an attempt to occupy her mind she did housework, but no matter how she tried to focus on the task at hand her mind kept wandering to the little experiments she wanted to try with Matthew. She slapped her palm to her forehead, how did she never think of this before? She shook her head.