I watch him. My eyes filled with detest and hatred. I watch as he shows his fake side to the world. As he makes everyone think that he's an angel. But he's just a devil in disguise. And I'm the only one who can see through the veil of lies.
"What the hell are you here for kid?" a man pushes me with annoyance. "Stop blocking the way by standing in the middle of the street!"
I ignore him. Completely shutting of my surroundings, just to focus on him. Although he's standing opposite to where I am, I can still hear his conversation.
"Good afternoon, Ma'am." Mr. Miller says to the old lady, who's holding her shopping. "You seem to be struggling with your groceries. May I offer you some assistance?"
The elder woman looks at him, with a relieved smile. "Well, if it isn't John Miller? You're such a helpful man. I'd appreciate it if you help me. I just need a taxi. Can you call for one?"
"Of course." He says, timidly. "Just one moment."
He searches around for a cab, and when he finds one close to him, he raises his hand for it to approach.
And just like that, he 'saves the day'.
"Thank you so much, John."
"Don't mention it, ma'am." He says, slightly bowing, "I'm always here to help a fellow townsfolk."
The old lady praises him some more before sitting in the taxi and leaving.
I watch all of this. Watch as other people watch him.
"Look how John's assisting Mrs. White."
"He's such a good person."
"Last week, I forgot my way to the shop and he literally went through all the trouble to take me there personally."
Even with all the things he does, no one knows that he's really like. No one knows what he really does.
And as his eye catches me looking at him, he gives me a smile, which anyone would think is genuine, but they aren't really focusing at it to know what it really means. He just wants the public to see him being nice. But the truth is that,
"You're a hypocrite." I clench my fists, looking away from his stare, "You're nothing but a bloody hypocrite."
People watch us. Whispering things like they usually do.
Frustration rises in my blood, as I bite my cheeks to control an urge to scream.
I sigh a deep breath.
Why are you even standing here? Just leave...
I take in the view for one more second before turning away to the motel.
I'm just waiting for the day when I'll be able to reveal his true form.
Just you wait Mr. Miller. I'm not going to let you kill anyone else.
**************
I shut the door of my bedroom door, drawing the curtains, looking down at the town and its people. How oblivious they are. How blind. They can't see what's in front of them.
They prefer to ignore what's in front of them.
All these things happening around them. Theft, fraud, murder. I don't have they power to stand up to this. But they do. The why the hell aren't they doing anything about it? Why am I still living in this hell-hole with a complete and utter demon?
Why...Why isn't anyone coming to bloody save me?
I pound hard at the window with my clenched fist, groaning in anger.
Why is my life like this?
How - just how - am I supposed to give back Gillian his shitty money if I don't even know where Mr. Miller keeps it? And What if he's lying? What if he's tricking me?
Either way, Things won't end up good form. If Mr. Miller finds out about this, I'm dead. If I don't do what Gillian says, I'm dead - no surprise there.
I tug at my hair with both my hands.
Think, Joey. This isn't supposed to be as hard as you're making it seem like.
After twenty minutes of thinking. I've got nothing.
No clue how to do this. Or from where to get the amount of cash.
Shit.
Why am I so helpless? Why is this so hard?
Why is every breath a struggle to live?
Why can't I live normally? Why didn't I get a house with two parents and possibly bratty siblings in a peaceful city? Why don't I have family vacations or special traditions?
I've dreamt about all this. Wanting a life like that.
No stupid guilt following you everywhere nor always knowing that you're being watched.
I wanted to go to a school to study, have friends, not to stay away from everyone, not talking to anyone so that Mr. Miller doesn't decide to make that person the next victim.
When was the last time i smiled heartedly?
I don't remember. Probably because it never happened.
I hate it.
If I had the chance, I would have ended this.
All of this.
I just want to run away. Run away and never look back.
I sit down on the floor, the darkness of the room comforting me.
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired with this life.
I want it to end already!
My eyes start to droop and before I know it, I fall asleep right over there.
***************
The door slams open with such a loud sound that I jump awake, my heart almost bursting out of my chest. My eyes pop open so suddenly that they might have just popped out.
The light coming from outside stabs my dim room, making me shade my eyes with my arm.
"What are you doing there?" I hear Mr. Miller snarl.
I rub my eyes.
Take a guess?
"Sleeping." I mumble in response, drowsily getting up, my whole body aching.
He grunts, "Sleeping?" Not at all convinced.
No, I was just randomly dancing in the dark. What do you think?
"Yeah." I say.
He steps forward, switching on the lights, making me squint with the brightness. I press myself against the wall, maintaining a safe distance between us.
"Something you want?" I ask, trying my best to keep my voice calm.
He narrows his eyes, gaping at my room, then staring right at me.
"I wanted my dinner." He says, curtly.
"There's leftover soup from yesterday in the fridge." I reply. In the inside I'm frowning. Why is he telling me that? Isn't the deal supposed to be that we don't get in each other's way?
He walks up to the window, forcing me to stand away from it.
I just like it that way. Keeping this distance.
"So you went to school?" He asks, not turning around.
"Yes, sir."
"And you didn't try to tell anyone about...?" Now he's facing me, with that dark, inhuman stare.
I look away from it, refusing to, gritting my teeth, "No...No sir."
He smirks, I'm not looking at it, but i feel it, "Good. Very good. You know that's the only way for you to live."
"I...know."
With that, he finally decides to leave, and I'm just about to let my guard down when he looks over his shoulder and says,
"By the way, we're invited to this dinner party by that stupid Carmen's family tomorrow evening."
"We?" I say, not hiding the shock in my voice.
I don't go to the parties since I'm usually 'sick' or 'studying' - if you know what i mean.
"Yes, we. They'll be expecting you too. Apparently a lot of snobby people are coming with there, so they'll be expecting to have a place to stay in for the night as well." He sighs.
I frown, "Then why can't you just make normal excuse, like me being ill?"
He chuckles, "Don't be an idiot, boy. If you don't come, then who'll find my next fool to....demolish?"
He leaves.
I hold my breath.
What?
What does he mean by 'the next fool'-?
Realization dawns like a slap on the face.
"W-Wait!" I run after him in the corridor, "Hold up a minute, Mr. Miller!"
He looks at me, annoyed. "What is it now? Didn't i make myself clear or are you too deaf?" He snaps.
"But...But..." I protest, "You said we'd do it once a month! And only at its end! You can't just-"
"Are you arguing with me, boy?" He gives me a death-look, stepping closer in a threatening way.
"You can't just do that!" I plead, "You can't just play with people's lives-"
He grabs me tightly by my arm, shaking me hard, "Are you refusing to obey me?! Are you?!" He shouts at my face.
"Please." I feel invisible hands grab my throat. "Why are you doing this? Why do you kill innocent people? They never did anything bad to you!"
His grip tightens, eyes furious and bloodshot.
"Don't you dare...refuse me." He whispers menacingly.
"I can't do this anymore..." I feel like I'll burst with guilty tears. "Don't make me do this...I hate every second of it."
"No one makes you, boy." He hisses, "Don't you remember you're the reason this is happening? Weren't you the one to make this decision?"
"I-I was scared. I didn't mean to-"
"Don't lie to me!" He growls, "You knew things weren't going to be pleasant."
I knew. I knew.
But what else could i have done? I didn't wanted to die.
"Do you really want this to be your end?" He asks, pushing me hard. "Do you?!"
Do I?
But I don't want to die...
I don't...
"No..." I mutter, reluctantly.
"Speak up!"
"No, sir." I say, louder, "I don't want to..."
He gives a satisfied look.
"Well, then. I guess we won't be arguing about this...ever. Now, stay away from me unless you want me to lash out on you. And be ready for tomorrow."
I look down. Feeling ashamed of myself.
Leaning towards me he says, "I make the rules here, Joey. Never disobey the rules..."
Like I said, this world is too oblivious. It prefers to ignore the things that are in front of them.
People prefer to see the brighter side of things. Maybe now, they are so used to see the bright things, that their eyes have concealed the reality within. But i never see anything good. I guess that's why I know his dark side - his real side - the best...