Dear Diary,
Why do these things start with "Dear Diary" anyway? I should start mine with "F-you". From now on, that's what I will do.
F you,
Ki is dead. Again. Just when I thought I had "settled" into the life of the fight dog, and the initial numbness of the senseless violence had faded.
This is the second time he died. The first time, was a rogue attack in his own home. Now it was an attack on the vampire transport here. We had a match this weekend, the most anticipated fight show ever and it's just been cancelled.
How many times can a guy die? Part of me wondered if he was still alive or where he could go. His family was gone, and since I've met him here at the fight cage, he had completely severed all his links to home.
I had considered doing this, but decided to simply block off all the mindlinks temporarily so the vamps could not access them. I had not believed Ki was the dead the first time until I felt his link to me cut off. So I knew better than to cut off my links the way he did.
It was a constant mental drain to keep the links blocked at all times so the vamps would not discover them, but if I cut it off, wouldn't my family think me dead? Not that my old man would care, but my mum and aunts would cry.
I finished my routine work out and went to sleep early. I won't lie and say I wasn't looking forward to meeting Ki again, the fight tour had been a whirlwind of ghastly violence (inflicted by me) and wolfbane shots (inflicted by them).
The vamps were convinced that I was wild and untamable, which as Ki predicted, made me even more popular as a fight dog.
Lying down on the thin pad in my cell, I thought about my Princess. I hadn't meant to go back to the Green Packlands ever, and then she had to pop into my cell that night... I had not seen her since. Not that I wish she were here.
It's better I didn't see her now. Initially, I had a plan for Ki and I to escape together, but Ki died before I could tell him about it. Well, he did say he would be glad to die if it meant he could leave this hell hole.
"There is a fate worse than death and men more vile and depraved than you could ever imagine."
It's true.
I shut my eyes but I was awaken by someone breathing over me. I sat up immediately, "Princess? Where are we?"
What dream was this? I looked around. We were in a modest bedroom, a wooden single sized bed, an unmatching side table, dresser, desk and chair.
I could not sense any immediate danger, but whose bedroom was this?
"My room." My princess answered matter of factly.
If she had answered, "we have been kidnapped and are now being held hostage in some random bedroom in the suburbs, I'd have believed her.
Except that now that I looked around, the sheets were of good quality, the wallpaper was also rather nice, although there was a boyish blue theme going on. The lighting, the curtains, furniture... They were all used but in good condition.
I couldn't smell anything, so perhaps I was dreaming. The details in this dream were amazingly realistic though. I watched silently as my princess dug around a drawer and pulled out some clothes. She packed some in a duffle bag and took a couple of black pieces into the attached bathroom before shutting the door.
I honestly had never been so ignored by a girl in a bedroom before, but this was the least of my concerns in this bizarre dream.
My princess' bedroom, didn't look like a bedroom for a princess. It was more like a very ordinary boy's bedroom.
My princess returned very quickly, now dressed all in black. Tight black. Her hair fell around her, those dark blue silky locks which my hand longed to reach out for quite suddenly.
Still completely ignoring me, she swept her hair to one side, resting it on the shoulder away from me, and showing off her slender figure under the tight black. Mmmm...
And then she pulled on an outdoor vest - the waterproof and puffy type with a hood. I had never seen a girl wear that before. Or perhaps I had and mistaken those girls as guys, because suddenly all the curves were hidden.
Except her legs, even though she had on black tights, my princess' legs were long and slender. Mmmm...
Wtf. I'm f-up.
Wth.
She's 15 right? Okay, so just last year I was still dating highschool girls. But last year I was a highschooler myself. And even then, I usually dated girls my age or older... Okay, to be honest, that would just be a guess on my part. I had no idea how old most of them were unless they told me. It would be rude to ask, and even if it were not, I didn't care enough to find out.
Most of them were just dates. The girlfriends were just trophies... If they asked and they looked hot, I said yes.
Technically, my princess was only 3 years my junior. It's not that big a gap. My mum and old man were a good four years apart, and the age gap was still considered rather respectable.
So tell me why was it that my princess felt like a pup to me? And why did I feel like such a f-ing perv when I looked at her like that?
{Because she doesn't look at you like that. She's still a puppy.}
Perhaps my princess was what some might call a late bloomer.
{The flowers the bloom the last are sometimes also the ones who bloom the sweetest.}
This did nothing to ease the frustration.
{It's Ki.}
I looked up sharply at the knock on my door. But Ki was dead... right?
"Come in." My princess answered.
I got out of bed. But Ki was dead! Ki was dead... Even so, I had see for myself.
"Goddess, you know my clothes are going to be too large for you... Oh pop! Rebel?"
It really was Ki, well and alive, and for some reason f-ing sharing clothes with my princess.
I reacted by instinct.
{Not wolf instinct.}
No, I supposed it was human jealousy.
Hell, I don't know what it was. I just released my alpha wolf. Snarling my warning, I grabbed my princess from behind and shoved Ki out of the room, "Mine."
Ki was so shocked when he saw me that he didn't even retaliate.
But my princess had to reach out and grab him, pulling him back into the room and way too close to herself.
I saw RED.
I let go of my princess and slammed Ki against the door. I thought he was dead. I was happy to see him. But why was he with my princess? Why were they so close? And WHAT KIND OF F-ING DREAM WAS THIS?
Of course Ki had to kick back. I expected that. He had never taken my fury standing down. That's why I chose him to be my beta over my own cousin.
And then we were down on the floor.
After a brief struggle, I managed to pop one on his nose. Ki always hated it when I did that, so I always aimed for his nose.
"Oh pop! Pop it, Rebel." Ki said.
WTH was "Pop"?
"F-off, Beta." I untangled myself from the blanket and general mess we had made on the floor.
And then for some reason, Ki went f-ing bonkers on me. I swear I had no idea why.
"You knew who I was? You killed my whole family you -" Ki yelled.
I told you this was a bizarre dream. None of it made sense. Of course I would recognize my own beta, and what the hell was Ki saying about killing his family?
I f-ing fought tooth and nail against my old man and uncle after the incident. My uncle had wanted to confiscate their assets due to some evidence that they had been betraying us to rogues. They had died due to a rogue alliance gone wrong.
I didn't have any evidence, but I insisted for their family, or whats left of their remains, to be given an honourable burial. My dad finally relented because despite the evidence against them, he wanted for old time's sake to not dishonor the beautiful Oran family heritage. They were dead. Let's bury the hatchet with them. It's a huge loss for our Lorent Pack as it was.
F-ing bull.
I told Ki exactly what kind of F-ing bull he was. We exchanged a few more blows.
And then somebody screamed.
It wasn't my princess. Another girl. Ki and I both froze. There was a rush of feet outside. Plenty of strong large wolves by the sound of it too.
{1 Alpha. 3 Beta. 1 Female.}
We were definitely outnumbered.
"Bathroom, now." My princess ordered. I bristled at being ordered, but Ki grabbed me and all but shoved me into the bathroom. My princess threw in Ki's clothes and shut the door.
I wanted to go back out to protect my princess but Ki held me back.
"You're always holding me back." I growled.
Ki, was apparently still f-ing over our last fight punched me in the face.
We kept exchanging blows, with whatever we had. Fists, words, a bottle of pink stuff that I threw at Ki's f-ing face. He dodged (as usual) and it bounced off the wall and broke like a water balloon on the floor. Considering that it was made of high density plastic, it was a good thing that Ki dodged it.
I didn't even remember what we were fighting over by now, but it was bad enough for Ki to be glowing brightly and me to turn on the shower at its hottest. My healing was amplified by water and steam in the air multiplied the effects.
By now, I realized that either this was real, or I was having a very realistic dream.
It's all bizarre... And then I realised, "I'm dream travelling."
Ki stopped too, "You're what?"
"I'm using my mate's power to dream travel here." I said.
"You are my goddess' Luna?" Ki asked. He groaned, "Of all the popping wolves in the world, it had to be you."
"Why the hell am I the f-ing Luna?" I asked.
"Because the goddess is the Alpha here." Ki told me.
He's got to be f-ing me, "She's a girl."
A f-ing cute girl at that.
"Tell that to her face. I hope she kills you." Ki snarled.
I ignored Ki's outburst. Ki had always been a fancy latte kind of guy. A beautiful smiling perfection of foam art at first glance, harboring a deep dark well of bitterness beneath.
You get used to it.
I think that was what attracted me most to him as a impressionable teen. Ki was older, cooler, and more jaded than any other person I've ever met.
Unlike the other wolves in the Lorent, he never bowed down to pressure, never gave a damn at what society expected, and always hit back when I hit him.
Ki passed me a towel, "Rogues are coming. Get dressed quickly."
He handed me the clothes my princess threw in. I changed out of my leather pants into them while he turned off the shower and wiped up the steam on the mirrors and counters.
It was almost like before he had died. Almost like back home after one of our misadventures.
Almost, but not quite. I couldn't mindlink to him. I frowned.
But at the moment I was going to ask, the bathroom door was flung open by my princess. Her hair was flaring like an angry goddess. I totally could understand Ki's nickname for her.
"Wait," Ki spoke to the very strong wolves that had gathered outside the bathroom, "he only got the upper hand because I didn't want to hurt your luna- tic... I didn't want to hurt this lunatic."
Why the hell was I the f-ing Luna? Naturally, I had to take a jab back at him, "You're just getting soft. Life must be good to you here."
"Yes." Ki grinned, "Your princess is very, very, good to me."
I grabbed him by his wet collar snarling.
And then a voice a authority spoke, "Enough."
It was the elder Alpha. He was probably my dad's age. I let got of Ki's collar to face the man.
The Elder Alpha growled out the words, "Can someone explain what is going on here?"
I recognized this Alpha. He was the infamous "mad genius" alpha of the Barbarian pack next door, Alpha Kingsley.
"This is Bell." My princess answered.
And that was how I was introduced to my mate's family.