I'm a big boy! No way I'm calling the Alpha tonight!
With this thought I close my eyes.
"Bwayden, Help!" Bella's voice echoes through my mind.
"You're supposed to be strong! You let my little girl die!" Daddy's adds.
"I told you to run.. why didn't you protect her!?" Momma asks.
"I'm scawed!" Bella screams so loud I shoot up in bed sobbing.
I look around the room panting as the tears stream down. Ms. Jones is soon at my side.
"Shhh... you're okay." She tries to soothe me. I continue to struggle for breath as as more water from my eyes soaks my shirt. Looking out the window I can see that it is the middle of the night. When she reaches for me I jump away. "I'll call the Alpha." She says.
"No!" I yell grabbing her arm. "Don't call him."
"He cares for you pup... he'll want to make sure you are okay." Ms. Jones says looking down on me with pity.
No! He can't see me weak. He cant worry about me. Ari has enough to deal with I can't distract him!
"I'm fine ma'am... please... don't worry Ari... I'll just go back to sleep no problem see?" I say throwing myself on the pillow pulling the covers to my chin. She looks at me doubtful. "Please?" I beg
"Fine... but if I have to come back in here I'm calling Alpha Aaron." She says and walks to the door. "Sleep well pup."
I close my eyes and wait for the footfalls to fade away.
1 Mississippi...
2 Mississippi...
3 Mississippi...
4 Mississippi...
5 Mississippi...
6 Mississippi...
7 Mississippi...
8 Mississippi...
9 Mississippi...
10 Mississippi...
OK!
I jump out of bed. I can't go back to sleep I think pacing the floor. If I sleep I'll dream bad stuff then she'll call Ari. I cant bother him. I already got Bella killed... probably momma too. If I'd been faster getting ready. If I could tie my own shoes. We would have been out earlier and momma would not have been attacked. If momma wasn't attacked I wouldn't have ran to Daddy's office and Bella would be alive. I killed them. I wont let myself distract Ari and get him killed too. I won't do it!
What to do? It's still dark outside... I could explore the house... I never cleaned up the fort in Ari's office... if I clean up he will have less to worry about tomorrow. Yes! That is how I'll help!
I sneak out my door and tip toe down the stairs creeping along the wall. The entire house is silent and dark as I make my way to the office. As I turn the handle I realize the door is locked. Now what... hmmm...
For how expensive this place looks this is a cheap doorknob. I could unlock it with a butter knife... where is the kitchen? I wander around the house until I find it and open drawers until I find a knife. Quickly and quietly I go back to the office and turn the lock. Daddy always said "locks are to keep honest people honest." I'm not being dishonest but I think it means if someone wants in they will get in lock or no.... I guess it applies in that way. Now to clean up!
I put the cousins back on the couch, stack my books up, and fold the blanket. "Yaaaaawwwwnnn." I am tired... No! Cant sleep!... but maybe I could just rest a bit? You know until Ari needs to work. Yea... just a little "yaawwwnnnn." Rest...
SLAM!
"GGGGRRRRRRR!"
CRASH!
I sit up straight as loud noises and growls fill the house. What's going on?
"Where?!" I hear Ari ask.
"I don't know Alpha! I saw him last night... he had a nightmare and..." Ms. Jones says
"I wasn't informed?" He asks.
"The boy didn't want me to!... I thought he went back to sleep!" She responds panicking.
I begin to make my way out of the office.
"Looking?" He asks.
"I was looking for him when you came in!" She defends herself.
"Where?" He asks.
"He is nowhere on the dormitory floors. The kitchen had every drawer open tho... maybe he just wanted a snack?" Ms. Jones suggests.
Ari looks scary. I can only see his back as I enter the room they are in but I can almost see the steam coming off of him. I swallow hard trying to find my voice.
"Ari?" I squeak.
He turns so quickly I flinch.
"Bray!" He sighs and in a second is on his knees pulling me into a hug. He pulls away holding me by the arms looking me up and down. "You Okay?... hurt?" He asks.
"I'm fine." I say trying to smile at him. His look of worry and relief gains a slight hint of anger.
"Why?" He asks in a stern voice. I look at my shoes.
"Why what?" I ask not understanding the one word question.
"Why weren't you in bed?" He elaborates.
"I didn't want to worry you last night... I couldn't sleep without hearing them... I didn't... I don't want to hurt you... to worry you... to distract you... I couldn't go back to sleep so I didn't." I explain.
"Where?" He asks... what's with the one word questions?
"Where?" I repeat. Ari sighs and shakes his head.
"Where were you?" He asks.
"I'm sorry Ari! I didn't want to hurt you! I didn't want to worry you! I'm sorry! I messed up! You probably hate me now! I killed my family now I'm hurting you! I just wanted to help Ari! Promise! I wasn't trying to do anything wrong! I'm sorr..." I begin to ramble.
"Bray... Bray!... Brayden!" Ari gets my attention interrupting my rant. I look up at him. "Where were you pup? A straight answer please."
"In your office." I mumble looking away.
"My office?" He asks and I nod. "How?"
"How?" Seriously one word questions! I don't get it how what.
"How did you get into my office?" He asks. "It was locked." Oh yea... now the how question makes sense. I forgot about that.
"Well... it's not a good lock." I say pulling out the butter knife and handing it to him. Ari raises his eyebrows.
"A knife?" He asks.
"Well yea... on the outside there is a slit in the knob you just put a knife or something flat in it and twist... it's a cheap lock." I mumble looking away. Ari laughs.
"Well I guess I need a better lock lil' Houdini... why did you want in my office anyway?" He asks all anger and worries gone he seems like the happy guy I first met.
"To clean up so you had less to stress about... that guy yesterday made it sound like I was making things hard for you so I wanted to help. I like you Ari and I don't want to make your life harder. You said you'd take care of me but you have so much to do and wolves are attacking! And I already lost one family... I don't want to lose you Ari! So I cant distract you. I can't bother you. I cant make you worry about me and I've already messed that up! I don't..." his laughing stopped my words.
"You ramble alot... listen Bray, Beta James was my father's Beta. Hes older and wiser but he is also harsh and narrow minded. Its true I have a lot to deal with right now but I'm not leaving you. A little distraction is not a bad thing, you won't lose me, and you haven't messed anything up. You're a pup you shouldn't worry about anything.. just let someone know where you are next time... and close the drawers when you are done in the kitchen... honestly you are to young to be digging around in there anyway... come on let's get some breakfast!" Ari grins throwing me up onto his shoulders. I laugh holding on th o his hair as he runs to the kitchen.