Years had passed. I married Helian to ease my parents' anxiousness. We made a family and I named Gabriel to our first child. He resembled Helian and has the personality of Gabriel. The only reminder for me that he wasn't Gabriel was he got my bluish-grey eyes. Suzie got Helian's carefree and bright smile. She got my wavy hair and eyes too. She's more courageous and brave than Gabriel, however, when Suzie starts crying, Gabriel will act all this cool-brother-be-like. They are so adorable. I hope even this child inside my womb.
Helian is a kind man. I know he always hid his jealousy about his dead twin brother. I tried to be a good wife. He also tried his best to pretend everything was fine, but he knew all this time that my heart wasn't his and I felt guilty about this. I never stop wondering if I indeed became a good wife for him, but he will just give me those warm smiles that comforted me all this time.
"Why are you spacing out? Did you miss my brother again?" Helian asked as he approached me and took away my embroidery
"No. I am thinking if you're regretting marrying me" I responded
"Those thoughts again? Weren't my answers for the millionth time enough for you? You are a great wife and a loving mother. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I love you and I will always do. I respect you and admire you forever and always. Please believe in me, I may not be a good proxy of my brother, I promise to make you happy" he said
"Helian, when will you stop comparing yourself to your brother? You are different. You might be twins, but both of you have different souls. Look at me" I spoke as I caressed his cheeks and kissed him
He's astonished by what I just did. It was the first time I initiated a kiss and I feel regretful and sorry for him.
"The day I married you was the day I decided that Gabriel will be part of the soul and my memories. This, I will keep it until my last breath. But Helian, memories are good, they helped you fantasize things that you can't have in reality. At the same time, memories are also painful, the fact you can't have it, in reality, will only make you lose the opportunity to have something worth looking back, worthy of appreciation. Helian, I love Gabriel, yes, however, I moved on already. I am your wife. I am the mother of your children. It's kind of stabs me when I already look after the present and our future while you're still stuck in the past..."
"I'm sorry.."
"Don't be sorry at all. I know you're giving me sympathy for what happened, but Helian, I will be grateful if you can also accompany me to our future" I stated and smiled
I wiped the tears falling from his cheeks and hugged him.
Dear Gabriel,
Your brother and I have such a great time. How about you? Are you watching us? Our children will grow in good hands, aren't they? I and Helian are good partners, aren't we? I'll never forget about you. If I didn't meet you, I will never be here. Thank you very much, Gabriel. You are my angel. Even though I already moved on, I still keep missing you. Your brother surely does also. Our first child, I named it the same as yours and I am always telling him stories about you. Did you know he loves you very much?
My Gabriel, even if death does us apart, I still hold my promise in my heart. I will keep you here until the day we meet again. I hope that in our next lives, this hindered love will proceed. In another life where even death can't take part in us. I will love you there dearly and for all eternity.
Winter is coming. I always feel nostalgic as I watched the snowflakes fell then fade away. That beautiful creation of the sky was given a short life, however, it's still deserved of engaging myself on its charms. Just like how you hypnotized me and made me fall. I can still reminisce those times vividly like it was just yesterday, until the day you left me. I am happy now, Gabriel. I will live the rest of my life to the fullest. This time even if you can't accompany me, I know I will never be alone. I have Helian and our family. I loved you, but fate didn't allow us to be together.