JAN
oh no! no no no no! this isn't happening! my eyes went wide! how could i forget?! i didn't even make a routine! oh my gawd! cold sweats broke down my spine as i turned my back on the trio! i could feel the panic attack coming! but i couldn't let ANYONE see that side of me, especially new friends. NO WAY!
GET A HOLD JANESSA VICTORIA TYKES! GET A HOLD!
but how can i?! today was the day of the qualifications and i freaking missed the deadline! i can't possibly go in that room! i'll make a fool of myself! i can't just-!
"yeah! its the day of your qualification! we are coming to cheer you on! we took the days off from our respective practice sessions too!" shelly grinned. "WHAT?!" I whipped around, horrified. i can't let them know that i haven't even practiced, i can't let them know that i was chickening out!
"is something wrong?" kam eyed me curiously. "uh no! its alright, i was just freaking out a bit over here!" i laughed nervously. shelly shouldn't be able to tell, cuz technically i did not lie! YET! "well, let's go then!" they pulled me into the big gymnasium filled with beam bars, uneven bars, vault tables and floors. what panicked me more was the crowd. WHY THE HECK WAS THERE SO MUCH CROWD?!
"w-why is there so many people?" i choked out. "well, this is the gymnastics qualifications right? so its common for people to watch! don't worry it happens in every sport!" sam smiled. "i think you don't know that, because you joined a week late right? most qualifications were held in that week, this is the last one actually!" kam added.
i nodded mutely. fear bubbling in me to a point that i was nauseous. my worst nightmare was back... CROWDS! it ain't like i am afraid of ALL crowds. its just those crowds who would watch me fail, then point at me and laugh later on that i was scared of, they brought back memories...
no no no! i am NOT thinking about those times! i performed before a whole hall full of audience just now right? i am NOT afraid! but you knew you can sing and play well anytime, you were confident! its the times when you aren't that the crowds haunt you! you aren't confident now, are you? a voice spoke in me.
y-yeah... i am confident... i am confident... i CAN think something out, i will NOT make a fool of myself! not here, not now, not ever... right? my lips shook and i clutched the neckline of my shirt with sweaty palms and i stared ahead with dilated pupils. the people around me started turning to silhouettes as i watched horrified, i was frozen in my place, the loud, excited chatter around me turned blurry and hazy... it reminded me of....
"jan... JAN!" someone shook me by my shoulders and i snapped out of the reverie. i let out a breath i didn't even know i was holding as i noticed shelly gripping me. "kitten, stop biting your lips, they are gonna bleed!" sam's cool voice cleared my head a bit. "oh yeah, t-thanks!" i stuttered. "now tell us what happened, you have been acting weird!" i found myself staring into deep blue eyes.
"i-i haven't even made a routine yet, i completely forgot! and i have a trauma of crowds, i h-hate people clustering around me when i c-can't prove myself! it scares me..." i stuttered out under kam's gaze. cool slender fingers pushed my face towards the gymnasium from where we were in the bleachers, "look there!" sam's voice was quiet. huh? look where? i could only see people.. talking, shouting, chattering, laughing.... they would be laughing at me moments later... no, jan STOP IT! don't remember... "look at the equipment, not the mob around, concentrate on the things kept there...'' sam's velvet voice was like ointment over my frayed nerves.
i did as he told, i focused on the uneven bars... the moments i spent on them... laughing, smiling, jumping around, doing flips and cartwheels, goofing about them... came rushing back. i took a deep breath... and smiled at the green eyed savior in front of me, "thank you!" i was calm now, much much calm. "anything for you kitten! now go rock babe! knowing you, you would definitely get in!" he smirked. shelly hugged me and kam gave me a thumbs up as i hurried to get my kit.
SHELLY
frankly, i have never seen jan like that. she looked downright TERRIFIED. like she had seen a ghost, i knew that feeling alright! there is something in everyone's life that scares them more than anything, but that face of jan was certainly gonna haunt ME for a while.
there were 20 new participants this year, including her. weirdly enough everybody was supposed to do vaults, balance beam routines, uneven bars AND floor performances together before the next one got the chance, i mean it was a waste of time right? four routines together before the latter participants could perform. but then there were only two teachers, so i guess they chose the easier method even though it was time consuming, also it gave jan more time to create HER performance since her surname started with 't' and hence her name was the last one.but all three of us had no doubt that she was gonna be awesome!
the qualifications started with a performance from the current team. gymnastics fascinated me a lot, not only did i admire their flexibility and stamina and balance and all, but also that each of them were so sophisticated and graceful, something a clumsy bitch like me can only dream of. so the fact that my best friend was a gymnast excited me more than others.
the participants started coming up one by one, and some of them were pretty good while some of them made slight mistakes, but on the whole none of them were rookies and yet only two would be chosen amongst the twenty, it was sure gonna be along day for mr.conbolt and mrs. briars!
30 minutes later, jan came up, she had changed into black shorts and a grey sleeveless t-shirt. she wasn't dressed in typical gymnastic outfit like other participants. as she pulled her hair into a a low pigtail, i watched boys gape shamelessly at her long, tanned, supple and strong bare legs along with her slim yet powerful, perfect hourglass 5'7" figure which was more pronounced now that she was wearing tight garments. she had become popular the first day she came here, not that she noticed, but a badass music performance and now that simple and hot attire was sure gonna place her with the queen bees!
"they are disgusting! aren't they ka-!" i stopped hen i saw that both my bro and my bf were ogling as shamelessly as other boys at jan. i hit them on their heads, "stop eye-fucking my best friend perverts!" 'but she sure is damn sexy!" sam licked his lips, smirking. "...and she doesn't even know!" kam finished for him. 17 years of friendship does that, even though its creepy.
jan looked up at the audience, probably searching for us before she went all out, i waved my hand, but she couldn't spot me among the crowd. she turned around, disappointed that she couldn't find us. she dipped her feet and hands in the saw dust, rolling her shoulders as she practiced little calisthenics to loosen her joints. her face was determined as she stepped up for the vault.
the whistle sounded...
...
the whole hall erupted into cheers as she landed perfectly, i jumped up, clapping hard and shouting. even the teachers looked appreciative. a small smile lit up jan's face. as she sauntered to the beam balance. "she is such a pro! and she was getting all scared?! we should call her saint mary!" kam exclaimed. sam as usual didn't look surprised, "her vault was miles better than others!" he agreed.
jan readied for the next round, the beam balance, again the whistle rang out...
...
"whooooo!" i jumped up shouting, clapping with all my might as she raised her hands and acknowledged her surroundings 360 degrees,like every gymnast, her body taut and straight. even the teachers were clapping now. she was really on a different level.
next up came uneven bars...
...
"oh my god!" i gasped, already exhausted from all the screaming and cheering and shouting, was this really the modest shy jan we knew? because all i could see was extravagant talents and and incredible execution, be it studies, music or gymnastics! janessa tykes is officially my role model from now on!
the last event came up, uptil now, the teacher's were impressed enough to give a standing ovation. the floor performance was jan's plus point, i could feel it from her calm, charming smile. she equipped herself with a ribbon and got up on the stage...
...
by now the whole hall was speechless, she got up, panting as she greeted everyone again, the smile constant on her pretty face. the crowd seemed to recover from shock as they burst into ear splitting applause. the teachers got up to hug the brunette. she was TOO good! "and all these in just thirty minutes! pfft!" kam laughed, awed, like me.
....
"it was a hard decision, but we have come to choose two of y'all! so the qualifiers are Larsson Amy ..." the whole hall got drowned with cheers as a petite slim blonde, who had done an awesome job too, bowed to everyone. sam gave a sudden smirk beside me and i noticed that larsson had already made the eye contact. another slut in his list! i sighed.
" the second person, unanimously chosen, and i want a huge round of applause for this outstanding talent... tykes janessa!" mrs. briars announced and the total audience burst into clapping with kam and me as the loudest as jan took her position amongst the team, smiling shyly.
JAN
I DID IT! I SERIOUSLY REALLY DID IT!
don't ask me how, but after sam had calmed me down, i somehow managed to make up some routines. i was still feeling a bit nervous when i entered the room, that too when i wasn't able to find the trio in the whole audience, but then one look at the vault bar in front of me, the panic melted away...
.....
i was stuffing up my bag from my locker when someone collided with me from behind. "YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME! YOU ARE MY IDOL MISS TYKES!" shelly screamed into my ear. i laughed and turned around to return the hug. "do i get one too?" kam pouted. i launched myself on him, and he literally had to tackle me, chuckling all the while. he smelled like apple and mint while shelly had a raspberry and lavender scent.
i watched them bicker amongst themselves as to who i liked better, with a smile. they had become so much close to me within such few days, and they didn't even know how grateful i was for that. shelly like always was the sun of my life, bright and energetic, always brimming with energy and positivity and filling me with some of it too. weren't foxes a a shade of yellow too? kam was brown, like a wolf, happy-go-lucky and full of freshness, he always had an aura around him that made me feel more hopeful and faithful in myself and my surroundings.
who knew that yellow and brown would not only come to signify energy and hope for me but also become a big part of my life?! not me at least!
"you did well kitten!" a voice said from behind. i whipped around to sam who was smiling down at me. before i could help myself i wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his muscular chest, inhaling the musky odor i had started to like so much. he pulled me to him for a moment and then let go.
i looked up into his green eyes. sam... i signify him obviously with black. and unlike shelly and kam, everything about him soothed me, his smell, his smile and his words, that is when he was not being a pervert. i could always retreat to black when i got wary of brightness and freshness, to cool off and be peaceful and soothed.
"i love your eyes when you are happy! they change from chocolate to hazel! promise me that you won't let them turn deep brown! it means you are scared or sad! i don't like that color on you!" he said softly. i laughed lightly, "thank you! you saved me today felis!"
"like i said, anything for you kitten!" he smirked,... and the cocky cat was back. i sighed. "so does that make me a hazel kitten now?" i asked. "nah! if i am a black cat, you are a pure white kitten with chocolate brown eyes, that turn hazel or deep brown depending on your mood, and some brown strands on its head, both because you are a brunette and because that makes it look cuter!" he answered. "you have vivid imagination!" i remarked. "obviously! else how would i be thinking about nude girls all day long with perfection!" he scoffed playfully as i rolled my eyes.
he pulled me to the parking area, following shelly and kam who waved impatiently as they walked backwards. my eyes widened as the evening sun burst through the temporary clouds lighting up the laughing faces of the trio with orange, red and yellow. these were the people who rooted for me accepted me without reason, they were my friends.
i realised the importance of colors...
...
Some days later, i was in the living room, fixing up the vacuum cleaner since it was my day of cleaning, when shelly came in. kam wasn't there since he was in the garage cleaning his car. it was saturday, a holiday and i was glad that the trio agreed to share their chores with me, cuz knowing them, they'd be like no-way-we-are-letting-you-work-you-are-our-friend! ugh! they were too kind!
shelly marched into the room in a casual yet fancy hot pants, shirt, a button down shirt left unbuttoned with sleeves folded to the elbows over it, and black boots i had chosen for her since she had to go for a meeting of the art club. she has been taking all fashion tips from me since she heard i wanted to be a fashion designer. sam was reading something on the sofa, and i watched as she fiddled with her high pony for a bit before she back hugged her brother.
sam didn't even look up as he returned it with his left hand as he ruffled her hair a bit. "what was that for?" he was still reading. "uh... well..." shelly looked up and spotted me. "was it that online story you were reading?" i asked knowing how easily she was swayed by imaginary worlds. "uh, yeah actually..." she laughed sheepishly. sam finally put his book down, "what happened there?"
"there were these twin older brother and younger sister and the brother died in a car crash there right in front of the sister's eyes, then..." she bit her lips. sam sighed, got up and pulled her into a hug, "how many times have i told you not to read those things? you get influenced way too easily and end up getting nightmares!" "i am sorry, i didn't know it would-!" she sniffed as sam rubbed circles on her back.
i smiled. the black cat was a sucker for his sister and so was the sly fox. i have seen them argue 24/7 and yet they were so close! i slipped away from the room leaving the two alone. why can't james be like that? why did i HAD to get that jerk as my brother?! i smiled nevertheless, i missed him, not that i will EVER let him know though! i had called june, mom and dad already but that jackass always managed to evade me. he probably didn't even like me back! okay i literally imagine him saying 'took you so many days to understand?'
"i hate you!" i mumbled and almost immediately a text entered my phone:
jackass: poopy (cuz my eyes and hair were brown)r u thinking about me? i have been constantly sneezing since the last three minutes!
me: r u delirious? y wd i think about u?
jackass: that's exactly what i was wondering!
me: piss off! i am mad at u! i tried calling u 5 tyms already!
jackass: meh! y shd i talk 2 u?
me: gd point!
jackass: jan dear, its sarah here!
jackass: i managed 2 snatch his phone away for a while
jackass: and i just wanted 2 tell dis 2 u bfr he takes dis away dat he has been really down since u have gone away!
jackass: don't believe him, he really misses u!
i smiled, sarah was james' fiancee! and i absolutely loved her, she was the ideal sister-in-law! sweet, kind, funny and caring though she MUST me crazy since she loves someone like my brother! but it was funny how my dear bro literally worshiped the ground she walked on!
me: meh! he is faking it!
jackass: i am not! i really miss u
jackass: but i can't believe u never told us! i cd have saved u all the trouble u k?
i stiffened but then smiled, so he DOES miss me?
me: its ok! i gotta work now tho! so bye!
i hurriedly ended the convo before he could go back to whining about how he would have protected me and all back in L.A. he had seemed murderous the day i had finally broken down.
i heard shelly leave shouting a 'goodbye' at me as i plugged my ears with the headphones and set to work. i vacuumed each and every corner muttering the lyrics of 'bailando' under my breath...
...Bailando, bailando, bailando, bailando
Tu cuerpo y el mío llenando el vacío
Subiendo y bajando (subiendo y bajando)
Bailando, bailando, bailando, bailando
Ese fuego por dentro me esta enloqueciendo
Me va saturando...
i was so into the song and cleaning that i barely heard the faint 'watch out' and before i could react a i felt a series of thuds on the carpeted floor. i whipped around to find sam on the floor surrounded with a lot of parcels and an amused expression on his face. i didn't even notice what i was saying as i rushed to him, "¡Oh Dios mío! ¡lo siento mucho! ¿estás herido? (oh my god! i am so sorry! are you hurt?!)"
"Estoy bien gatito! al menos no estoy aplastado, ¿ves? (i am fine kitten! at least i am not crushed, see?)" he smirked back. i blinked as i realised that both of us had spoken in spanish, with me because of the song i had been listening to. but damn! did all boys sound so hot when they spoke spanish? that deep velvet voice and spanish... do i need any more reason to faint?
sam got up and i helped him pick up the parcels probably meant for shelly, "i am sorry! i didn't hear you coming in the song was too loud! but how did you fall anyway? i am sure i didn't touch you!" i asked. "well, these came for shelly and i was going to her room trying to avoid you and your... uh, weapon (the vacuum cleaner) and i backed up a step then you pulled the cleaner and i tripped over the cable!" he shrugged coming outta shelly's room, see how i cause disasters even without direct touch?
"but didn't shelly tell you?" "tell me what?" i asked. "i can't believe she forgot!" he muttered. forgot what? sam shook his head at his sister's scattered brain before looking up at the ceiling, "play 'bailando,' enrique iglesias, spanish version!" and immediately the whole room was filled with the song.
"woah! shelly forgot THIS?!" i gasped as the song went on. "probably because she prefers headphones, but you can use this all you want!" he smiled before walking away.
.....
"uh... what are you doing?"
me? oh i had just finished helping kam clean up his car and we had to go to the shopping mall *ugh!* now that shelly was back from the club, and i at the moment was rubbing my cheek to kam's awesome-recently-cleaned car window. "nothing?" i stood up straightening my t-shirt which was like usual sam's. ''sure... nothing!" sam drawled. "your sarcasm isn't appreciated felis!" i said dryly, "it wasn't meant to be!" he smirked winning the round. that damn cat! i will get him next round!
"do we have to?" i whined standing in front of the huge mall. ''i don't like it either! but we DO need some stuff!" sam bit the right side of his lip. as the four of us got in, kam smiling, shelly bouncing, sam sighing and me sulking we immediately separated ways with kam and shelly going for some things they needed for redecorating the rooms a bit and sam and me to the grocery.
frankly both of us had a fun time racing carts and and laughing at rather abstract things we found, for example a a soup mix was actually named 'cock flavoured' a snacks had been labelled as 'breast munchies' and a bread was called 'jussipussi'!! i had to practically rip sam off the counters of the last two. but the funniest was probably this tiny old lady whom we helped out after she had dropped her basket full of groceries and she practically begged us both to marry her grandchildren who we later learnt were not even born!
"i swear shopping malls can be a great place for study of psychology!" sam remarked as i gripped the bags in my hand tighter and somehow managed to massage my aching ribs after all the laughter. "i agree... totally!" i panted, my face red. sam could even manage to make anabelle laugh!
i was still having a hard time to breath when sam stopped, his eyes fixed on something, i followed his gaze to a... jewellery shop? i stared back and forth, confused. "what accessories do you like?" he asked suddenly. 'i don't think i have one!" i said thoughtfully. "oh c'mon! kam likes sunglasses, shelly loves bracelets and i prefer bandannas! u gotta have something too, right?" "kam sure does have a lot of ray-bans! i personally prefer rings... thumb rings! but if you want to give it to some of your fuck buddies then i guess necklac-! "come with me!" he smiled.
we entered the russian store, "у тебя есть кольца для большого пальца? (do you have thumb rings?)" he asked. i stared wide eyed as the staff nodded and produced at least a hundred different rings. "choose!" sam ordered. he was buying for me? why? "b-but i-!" i started. "shhh! now choose!"
i looked at them carefully and sighed, "sam they are too pricey! i can't.. no don't give me that look cuz i WON'T!" i said firmly and turned to the staff, "спасибо, мы вернемся позже (thank you we will come back later)!" i smiled and dragged sam out of the store. "heyy! you-!" he began protesting but i had already found what i wanted and marched in the direction with sam on my heels.
i entered the shop which seemed less extravagant than the last one and sam immediately pointed at one of the rings, grinning. "미안하지만 그 조각을 보여주세요 (sorry but could you please show me that piece)?" i smiled at the korean lady. i had realised that talking to them in their native language would make the job easier, she nodded and brought me the ring which i immediately liked, i could almost feel sam smirk behind me.
"감사합니다! 얼마예요? (thank you! how much is it?)" i asked, wearing the white cat ring i liked. the price wasn't too much but sam stopped me, "lemme pay!" "no! imma gonna pay!" "take it as a gift then!" "NO! give me a gift when i deserve it! all i have been is a burden! and i am not letting you pay!" "sure you aren't! you forgot your purse at home, remember?" he said and i stopped, i couldn't pay in the grocery shopping either! "well then i am not buying this at all!" i shrugged, sam rolled his eyes and paid anyway by shutting my mouth up with one of his hands while hold mine with his other hand so as to stop my protests and punches.
ten minutes later we met up with kam and shelly with sam grinning triumphantly and me scowling hard as i unconsciously stroked the ring on my left thumb with with the right one. "its pretty!" shelly admired, "i will pay you back the moment i get home!" i swore to sam who shrugged, "its a gift! ruin the sentiment attached if you want by repaying!" he replied off handedly. my eyes narrowed, was he guilt tripping me? "fine, thank you!" i sulked, blushing a bit as i caressed the pretty ring.
by now it was already evening, and our hands were filled with bags when, "last stop!" shelly halted in front of a LINGERIE SHOP! oh hell NO! i frantically shook my head! i didn't need lacy bras or pink panties right now! thank you very much. i hit sam on his head when i found him smirking at the girls inside, "please jan pleasssseeee! your wardrobe is so boringgggg!" shelly whined as she licked her ice cream, which the rest of us had already finished, "NO!" was my final answer, "but you can go if you want! i'll wait outside!" i said. shelly pouted, 'meh! i am not going in! it was for you actually! let's go home now! i wanna eat lasagna tonight!"
"make it yourself!" came sam's answer, "i want burger though!" kam frowned and his best friend hi-fived with him, "me too!" he grinned! so off we went to the Starbucks nearby where we stuffed ourselves to such embarrassing limits that sam could barely drive us back!
today had been random and it was later in the night when we were just about to go to sleep when shelly looked up from her phone, "hey guys? mom said she will be visiting in the end of this month! she wants to talk to jan!" she informed. sam and kam both agreed to say that they had got the same message too.
oh my god! now i was nervous again!
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