Cold and dark.
This is strange.
I can't see a thing.
It's dark, too dark that you can see light from far.
What is going on?
I took little steps towards the path. Although I can't see anything I just walk not knowing anything. But as much I walk without a destination I didn't get anywhere. Suddenly, I feel hungry and tired. I lay on the ground feeling hungry and exhausted. I close my eyes.
"Wake up. Wake up." Someone said.
I didn't open my eyes but my stomach growls. I am hungry. Slowly I opened my eyes but closed it shut. After a while of adjusting brightness, I opened my eyes.
The room is white. And the monitor beside me is beeping. There are lots of pipes attached to me. I can close. It's a hospital room. What I am doing here? How I get here?
"Finally you are awake." The man in front of me is wearing a white coat and a stethoscope. Must be a doctor.
"Do you remember anything?" He asks me.
I try to remember but nothing comes to my mind. Absolutely nothing. No, I forgot about everything. That is not fair.
"I don't recall," I said in a sad voice. Doctor nods and smiles.
"Don't worry about it, so my name is Dr. Brooks. Alright. And you are Aspen." He looks at me for a response.
My name is Aspen.
"I understand," I said slowly.
"So you got in the car accident and some people bring you here. You have brain damage. You were in a coma for a month. Now you seem better than before." He explains.
I didn't respond just nod at him. Then the door opens again reveling a nurse with a tray of food. She smiles at me and approached me.
"Hi, Aspen. I am your nurse Sofia. I know you must be hungry. Here is your food." She put it on my lap and help me to sit properly.
"Thank you." I smiled and told her. She nods at me.
"Alright, then kid. I will check up on you later." Dr. Brooks pat my head.
Doctor left while Sofia did the cleaning of my room. She is beautiful with black hair and blue eyes. She looks perfect in her white costume. Her skin is paler. But still, she is beautiful. I grab a little amount of food and put it inside my mouth. Yummy. I look at Sofia in a curious gaze.
"Hey, Sofia," I called out. She looks at me.
"Yeah, aspen?" She asks.
"What I am supposed to do here?" I ask in confusion.
"You are supposed to take rest and get better." She said with a small smile.
"Ok," I said with uncertainty.
Nurse helps me to feed myself and after that, I lay on my bed gazing on the ceiling. The nurse took the tray and left for another patient.
What I am going to do alone?
What I will do after getting discharged from the hospital?
I stop my overthinking and close my eyes. After a while, I fall in deep sleep.
I am standing on the footpath. There are lots of cars that are passing through the roads. I stand there gazing at them curiously. What I am supposed to do here?
I look at my left then at the right. Nothing. Then suddenly a car passed in front of me almost in slow motion. When I look inside the car I get a little shock.
I am sitting inside driving the car while talking to someone. But I am standing here.
Who is she?
She just looks like me. Her grey blond hairs with baby blue eyes. Her skin is the same as mine just I have a lot of purple marks on my skin.
Then a loud horn of car gets me out from my thoughts. Before I can register a thing two-car crash on each other making a loud noise. I cover my ears while my eyes get shut itself.
After a while, I open them again. There is a huge smoke from the atmosphere. When I examine the dilemma my eyes widen in pure horror.
My car is crashed by another. It was so hard the impact that the car gets flipped. I am there inside the car, crushed between the car and the ground. There is blood around me.
My breath hitched and my face paled. I froze in my place.
What's going on?
Am I dead?
If I am dead then what I am doing here?
Seeing yourself in a car accident is not the best thing. I get lots of questions in my mind, lots of but there aren't any answers at all.
Then I see a spark of fire in the engine. Maybe. It only gives me more panic.
'What do you want to do now?'
A voice asked.
I don't know.
'Don't you want to save yourself?' Asked the voice again.
Of course.
'Then run. Save yourself.' Said the voice again.
Apparently, the voice didn't have to repeat himself again. I race towards my car and try to find any way to get myself out. Grabbing my wrist I attempt to pull myself out but it didn't work.
'Do you want to die?' Asked the voice again.
Do I want to die? No, I don't want to die. Maybe I want to die. No, I can't think like that. But I don't remember anything. Not even a single thing. Hell, I even don't remember my name. What is the point of living?
No no you can't think like that aspen.
"I don't know," I whisper particularly to no one.
'Uncertain. Aren't we.' My voice said.
I look at my body. And stood up taking steps back. I am scared. Scared of not knowing a thing.
No, you can't do this to yourself.
Go Aspen go. Run and help yourself. Aspen, please listen to yourself. I stumble and grab a nearby tree to hold myself steadily. Come on girl. What are you thinking?
I try to move but nothing. I am freezing. I cant move again. Then I heard a loud blast behind my back. I fall on my knees. Taking a deep breath I look back.
Instantly my eyes watered. I feel a lump in my throat. My lungs they stop taking oxygen. I hug my knees and start sobbing.
No. This can't be happening.
This is so unfair.
I don't want to die.
No, I don't want to.
'Are you sure.' I heard that voice again.
Instead of replying I sob harder. I don't know. Why this is happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?
'You didn't deserve this but sometimes you are the only one who wants to kill yourself.'
'You just didn't notice.'
With that, the voice fades away with my illusions.