It was hard.
Moving on was one of the hardest things to do.
Especially if you have memories plaguing your mind. Memories of love, deceit, betrayal and rejection. And of course memories of the day and time of your death.
"it's okay...we all have black holes in our minds the moment we die", he said.
I turned to catch a glimpse of his face but everything was black, his hair, his eyes, his long trench coat, even his shoes....everything was as black as night, almost as if he was the night itself. He was the Grim Reaper assigned to escort me safely to the afterlife. But how do I know that I died? or more specifically that I'm dead?
My eyes darted to the lifeless body on the road, eyes ghastly and blood all over. The body that had my face and identity, my body. I just got ran over by a truck. The driver zoomed past as soon as he'd hit me, not bothering to stop and take a look or even call an ambulance. He didn't care that I was worth saving, and so there I'd laid there, until I died - lonely, rejected, heartbroken and alone.
"look Grim Reaper...I don't think I can smoothly move on to the afterlife. I have a lot of unfinished business here. My best friend will be killed tonight...or any minute from now actually", I said matter-of-factedly to him but he didn't so much as blink nor flinch. Guess Reapers are emotionless. Or perhaps they lack facial muscles to express emotions.
"I need to save her", I whispered weakly.
He gave a deep sigh, "that's not your problem anymore. You're already dead and therefore you don't belong here any longer. Besides, the longer you stay here...the harder it will be for you to cross over to the afterlife"
I smiled sadly.
"please... I'm begging you...let me just save her...i promise I'll go with you after that"
"I can't believe I'm about to say this...", he murmured like it was unbelievable that a dead girl was bargaining with the grim reaper, aka. collector of souls and guide to the afterlife.
But he gave in. Maybe because I sounded really desperate.
And I smiled thankfully.
The truth was actually a little depressing but it still needed to be told. Earlier today, I was actually supposed to meet up with my boyfriend on a special date and he'd even hinted at a proposal way before then. I'd been so excited that I had literally blurted it all out to my best friend, Janice. Janice was like my shadow, a friend of 8 years who had basically become like a sister. I had two beautiful and amazing sisters, Jayda and Amerylla. We've had each other's backs since childhood because we lost our parents early on.
The bond I shared with them was strong but Janice had over the years become a confidant, a person who stood by me through it all and the one person I knew would always be by my side.
She had been so excited about the news of my probable marriage proposal and started poking my side while calling me all sorts of sweet names, I couldn't wait any longer, I was literally dying of excitement.
At 8, I had already gotten dressed, done my makeup and even put on a dress and heels. I had headed to the restaurant at 8: 15 even though the dinner was at 8:30pm.
And when he finally showed, a flicker of doubt about whether I really deserved him rose inside my head. Asher was a really sweet boyfriend and all through out our 4 years of dating, we hadn't so much as quarrelled even once. I threw all my doubts out the window, giddily waiting for him to pull out a shiny jewel box and show me the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.
That didn't happen.
But that would have been too quick and definitely not as romantic as I wanted it to be so I tried to be a little bit patient.
He sat down, smiled and then ordered for the both of us, even though the last thing I wanted to eat was lobster. I didn't conplain however, because I didn't want anything to ruin sucha beautiful night. We made small talk and I tried my best to keep calm the entire evening. Halfway into the meal, he cleared his throat awkwardly and I smiled finding it cute that he was a little flustered over the thought of asking me to marry him.
Come on Papi, you can do it!, I urged him on in my mind. I could barely hold in my excitement at this point.
"i-i have been trying my best these past few weeks to give you something", he whispered in a voice that immediately shrivelled up all my excitement and made me feel a little doubtful of his intentions. Then again, I immediately threw my doubts out of the window.
And when he dipped his hand in his pocket, I got all excited once again, a big smile evident on my face as I anticipated his next move. Seconds passed by and turned to minutes as we awkwardly sat there in our seats, me in excitement and him in an emotion I couldn't quite read. Maybe nervousness?
Finally after what seemed like forever he pulled his hand out of his pocket and shock registered on my face, my eyes widening as I stared at the item in his hand.
No, it wasn't a box or a ring for that matter. It was a card. Perhaps a sample of our wedding invitation cards. Maybe he wanted to prove how serious he was about this commitment before popping the big question.
I must have smiled because I saw him lick his lips nervously and gulp as he handed the card over to me. Time stood at a standstill as my heartbeat become errant, I found myself gulping as I slowly opened the card. And I was right, it was an invitation card afterall.
No, not a dinner party. It was a wedding invitation card. My guess was spot on. My smile became wider when I saw his name on it. But I froze seconds later when my eyes scanned the name next to his.
Janice?
Dearly beloved,
Asher LeBron and Janice Levi,
Invite you to their wedding ceremony on the 14th of September at the Peace and Love Chapel at 8am.
Venue : Shadow Road, Fexas.
Thank you.
No way! This must be a really sick joke.
Next week?. They were getting married next week?
My boyfriend and my best friend?...were getting married? How?
A sob racked my throat, causing me to choke for a second. I felt really betrayed and used. All this while when I tried to be the perfect girlfriend, he had been dating Janice behind my back?. For how long had they been making me look stupid?. How was I supposed to take all this in?. How could they do this to me?.
A tear slipped down my face and I tried to stop another from falling but I couldn't. One by one, they freely fell, conveying how I truly felt in that moment.
"so all this while when I thought you were going to propose to me, you actually wanted to break up with me?", I choked out hoping he'd tell me this was all a big joke or that I'm dreaming. But the heartache was real, too ashamed to say a word, he only nodded in response. My hand twitched from the sudden urge to slap him but with great difficulty, I restrained myself.
I didn't know what I was thinking, but I was done being humiliated so I bolted out of my chair and ran out of the restaurant like a mad woman. I didn't stop even when I heard him calling after me, begging me to stop running, to listen to his explanation. All I wanted was to be far away from him, and away from all this.
As I raced out, suddenly my phone dinged and I saw the new message tab indicating a message from Asher, apologizing to me. Seriously, was he apologizing through text?. That shmeless person didn't even have the decency to properly apologize?
My heart broke all over again.