When I'm with you
anything is
p o s s i b l e
-Anon-
••••••••|
You know that awkward moment when you're trying to pitch in a conversation but no one's listening to you or even acting like you exist, and then you do some stupid stuff to get their attention and when you finally do, they look at you with that 'what the eff' look.
"What grandma? I have been talking for the longest time and you refused to acknowledge my existence!" Grandma Leigh rolls her eyes and goes back to fawning over Austin like he's some well behaved English boy. I grind my teeth together and narrow my eyes on him, my arms crossing in mock anger. He turns and catches my eye before sending me a flirty wink. I stick my tongue out at him and huff.
"You don't have to be jealous darling, I'm just a better charmer than you could be, but even though you've got no charm, I still love you." I smack him as he tries to pull me into his bear hug. My grandmas start giggling like teenage fangirls in the midst of a British boy band.
"Yeah right! You wanna tell them about that time when you were stalking me?" His smirk just grows wider and his eyes twinkle with promise of something mysterious.
"Come Cecile, let's excuse the young ones. It's tea time."
Oh really? They couldn't have left at a worst time!
"Cupcake, come here." Austin coos and I make a weird face and hug the couch pillow to my chest.
"You have to get me a vanilla cupcake for every time you call me cupcake."
His brow shoots up and he looks at me like I've grown a second pair of ears. "You really want to repeat what happened last night?"
I start blushing profusely and use the pillow to hide my red face. "Oh come on, April, you look cute when you're blushing." He moves closer to me and places a wet kiss on my forehead.
"Eww! Your germs!" I squeal as he picks me up, holds me by my shoulders and starts shaking me.
"Weren't you the nice boy that my grandmas were just tripping over? Or maybe he left already? Would you mind helping me look for him?" I beg as he lets me go. He sits next to me on the couch, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as we focus on the show.
"I miss cozying up with you." I murmur as I hide my face in his chest. He hums, rubbing my shoulders as he pulls me close to him. "I didn't want to miss you, but of course I had to be so stupid and get ahead of myself." He chuckles to himself and I immediately know that he doesn't find it funny.
I wrap my arms around his waist and press myself tighter into him. "You know, you could always make up by getting me sour candies." He laughs at that.
"Sure cupcake."
"That's two cupcakes on the way now."
°•°|°•°
"Oh my GOD! My eyes!" Kai screeches as she enters the living room.
"Do not use the Lord's name in vain, Kai!" Austin sighs and adjusts so he looks at her.
"How can I not? You guys were literally inside each other, Lord knows what's going on under those blankets!" I roll my eyes as she shakes her soda before opening it slowly. Who does that?
"We're in the lounge room Kai, there's no way I could be doing all those things." He sighs and rests his head in the crook of my neck, his eyes drifting slowly towards the television.
"Yeah right, I've heard the things you write about! I know what kind of an introverted perv you are!" She snickers and starts gulping down her soda. "What made you stay with him April?" She asks, her eyes on me.
"He pays for all the food I eat." I shrug and she smirks. "Fair enough, he became my best friend because of his love for junk food, so I'd always get free junk food, even though he's a jerk." Austin's head whips towards her.
"I am not a jerk, you are! And you are definitely lying, I'm your best friend simply because I'm awesome!" He brags with a proud grin on his face. "Shut up, you are a jerk!" I smack him slightly and he pouts and hides his face in my neck again.
"Gross! You're acting like a love sick cat! I can't stand it!" She fake barfs and Austin rolls his eyes. "Yeah right, just wait until River gets here tonight and we'll see who the real live sick puppy is, I bet he'd be holding your stomach and talking to it like a creep all night like he's been doing." Austin accuses and her eyes go wide and the corners of her lips lift a little before she hides her face.
Um, excuse me but wtf? Is Kai Winters Morales really blushing? Are we in an alternate universe now where Kai talks to me and begins to blush?
Woah!
Simply woah!
"That's about right, now, go sleep so you don't stress out the babies." He says and she practically rushes out. His deep chuckle vibrates throughout his chest and tickles my hand. He looks at me and his eyes twinkles with humor.
"Why are you looking at me with literal stars in your eyes, I'm getting uncomfortable." I pause and he chuckles again.
"Nothing, I'm just happy that you and Kai actually had a decent conversation without Meredith being involved." He whispered, his breath tickling my ear.
"Mhmm, yeah." I let out a shaky breath and he pecks my lips quickly, going back to watch the boring show on the tv. "I think we should go back to the room before anyone comes over and starts screaming, yeah?" I ask, running my hand through his hair and he smiles, his eyes fluttering close.
"Fine, but you have to promise you'll keep playing with my hair." He sticks his hand out and I grasp it.
"Deal." We stare at each other hard before he starts giggling and I join in, throwing the blankets off us. He takes my hand and pulls me up, my cropped sweater riding up and he immediately pulls it down, kissing my head.
Swoon.
We waddle back to my room and he jumps to the bed like it's his soulmate. I chuckle and go pick up my phone when it buzzes on my bed. I see it's a picture from Macy and I smile, I decide to call her later and just get in bed with Austin.
"Macy says hi, and she also told me to tell you she'll kick your butt." I laugh a little and he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"I deserve that, maybe even worse." He sucks in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. "I was going crazy April, I didn't know what I was doing, I could see you in everyone but at the same time I couldn't see you at all. It hurt bad but I knew that you hurt more. I refused to believe that you did that because Kai told you to, but when I realized how bad I messed up, I couldn't stop the guilt from eating at me. I'm irritated with myself for letting you go through that kind of pain and hurt, all because I was too stupid to listen," he pauses and I let him go on. He needs to pour it all out. He needs to let go of it all himself.
"When Kai was discharged, she literally threw the IV bag at me. I knew what I did was stupid but I couldn't bring myself to leave her in that state, and some part of me also wanted to blame it all on you, but I knew I was wrong, I knew I was fucking wrong! But I felt helpless, I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore. I was slowly starting to lose myself. That was until Kai told me we were leaving for England. I didn't even question her because I knew she would like me. And I thought I was going to tell you I was sorry then give you your space but when I saw you with Peyton, I wanted to rip his head off for touching what's mine, I wanted to throw him right across the room for even thinking of holding you, I couldn't bare to see you smiling with some other guy that's not me. And I know that's selfish, I know I'm being selfish because I know you deserve better than some guy who's always too afraid to face reality and instead ends up running, but I can't help but be selfish! I can tell but want you close every time, every hour, every second, every minute! I can they enough of you, and it hurts when I think of you with someone else, it hurts bad! I can't keep you without knowing I'm hurting you, but I can't let you go, am I wrong for that?" His voice softens as he asks me that, his eyes looking down at his curled fists.
I move closer to him, my hands grasp his face slightly and I lift his head until he's looking at my face. I take his lips with mine, my hands in his hair. "I don't care what you think, I don't care what anyone thinks, I don't care if you don't deserve me or not, I don't care I you are worthy or not, but I chose you, I chose to love you Austin, and I knew what I was setting myself in when I said those words, when I agreed to be yours, and I don't regret any bit of it, I chose you! And it'll be best of you stopped doubting if you deserve me, if you don't then work until you do, I don't care." His mesmerizing blue eyes look into mine, staring deep into my soul before he pulls me against him, resting his head in my neck.
It feels more intimate than a kiss as I cradle his head, listening to his breathing even out. He tightens his hands around my waist and I bite my bottom lip, running my hand through his hair.
"I love you, April, I love you." His voice cracks and I feel my heart stutter. I will never get used to that, his voice, him telling me he loves me.
"Good, you better, because I love you too."
°•°•°|°•°•°
I screwed up.
I screwed up bad.
I screwed up real bad.
Austin is probably stuck in traffic with River and Neferankh. It's raining cats and dogs.
It's 2:04 am.
"He's with Ethan so I guess you don't have to worry so much." Kai says softly from the other side of the island. She took some tea for relaxation and it makes her very sleepy.
The same tea that Austin took a drink out of.
The same tea that Brooke gave Ethan.
Once again, I screwed up.
I don't answer her, I just keep checking my phone to see if any of them are going to reply. I'm tempted to go wake Peyton up so we can look for them. I've tried calling, I've tried texting and even finding their location with the GPS on the car but none of it is working.
I'm going into panic mode.
The hallway lights switch on and I can tell it's a guy from the loud yawn. I hear the footsteps getting louder as the person shows himself in front of the kitchen doorway. "They aren't back yet?" His gruff voice asks and I can tell he's also been worried.
"No, I've tried calling, the car GPS. isn't working , I'm getting frustrated, I'm tempted to go out and start searching for them but I can't drive at night and neither can you or Peyton." Chase let's out a deep breath before flipping his phone out and calling someone.
"Is she alright?" He asks, nodding to Kai who looks half passed out. "I don't even know." I stand up and go to her, touching her shoulder slightly. I help her get up and start taking slow steps to get out of the kitchen.
"River..." She murmurs and I try to crack a smile. "Don't worry, I'll let you know once he gets back, but for now, you have to go rest for the babies." She nods her head a little, drowsy and swaying a bit. I would've laughed and pointed at how cute she looked but I was too dang worried about where they could be right now.
Once I reach the room, I help her get in bed, take off her slippers and cover her with the blanket. I slip out of the room quietly when she easily falls asleep and I go back to the kitchen to find Chase missing, I hear the front door open and I immediately rush to the door, seeing that it's just Chase who went out for a second.
"No sign of the car?" I ask and he shakes his head. I flop down on the couch, exhausted and a tired yawn comes out of my mouth. "You haven't slept have you?" Chase asks and when I don't answer him, he sucks his teeth in disapproval. "You must be exhausted, rest for a bit." He says as he takes off the wet jacket.
"Sure I'm exhausted, but not as exhausted as Austin and Ethan. They both took the relaxation tea. I'm worried they might fall asleep in the road." I murmur and pull at my hair.
"Shit." Chase curses under his breath and he stretches against the love seat, trying to call again. My eyes start to feel droopy but I take a glass of water and shake my head.
"Hey, babe, why are you up?" I hear a quiet voice and look up to see Fayette standing in one of Chase's large shirts.
"Nothing, I'll be back in a couple of minutes, go back to sleep, hmm?" He kisses her forehead and she rubs her eyes sleepily, turning around and walking back to their bedroom.
After a couple of minutes, I hear the front door rattle and I'm flying towards it. I swing it open and it feels like a bucket of water was just downed on my head when I see Austin standing there perfectly fine.
"Oh my God, thank God you're okay?" I breathe as I throw my arms around him.
"I promised I'd be back, didn't I?" is the cheesy line he decided to spew and I smack him hard.
"Don't ever do that to me again!" He kisses my cheek before turning to Ethan who was already yawning and leaning against the door. River and Neferankh were also looking tired and I immediately usher them in.
"Sorry for that, I'm so sorry you had to see that." I rush out as they step into the house.
"It's okay, I'd be worried off my pants too if Kai ever came back this late." I could hear the unasked question and I smile, picking Neferankh up and placing her on my hip.
"Grandma had some relaxation tea made for her and she's been trying to fight it so she could see you, but I had to put her to bed so she won't stress the baby, hope you don't mind. She's in here." I breathe and his eyes practically light up when he sees her curled up on the bed. Neferankh is already sleeping on my shoulder and I carefully place her on the bed as River drops the bags in the corner of the room.
"Hey baby." He whispered and she murmurs something in her sleep. I quickly walk towards the door and shut it once I get outside, not wanting to interrupt their umm, whatever that is.
I walk back to the living room and see Austin dozing off already on the couch. Chase is nowhere to be seen so I assume he's gone back to bed with Fayette.
"Hey babe, come on, let's go back to bed, you need to get out of your jeans." I say and he stands up slowly, holding on to me as we walk back to the room.
He takes off his shirt and jeans as I shut the door, slipping into some pajama pants and a simple shirt. I take off my slippers and get in bed with him, wrapping my arms around his torso. "How did you not sleep?" I ask after a while of wondering.
"I believe it's this thing called my insomnia that just kicked in." He chuckles and pulls me closer.
"I'll kick you for scaring me." I grumble against him.
"I love you too."
°•°•°|°•°•°
My eyes blink slowly as I stir awake, taking in the dark room and slowly picking up the low, deep and husky voice that vibrates through my cheek. I raise my head and see Austin staring down at me, his phone pressed to his ear. "Yeah, I'll be fine mom, stay safe and say hi to Layla and dad." He hums a little and turns off his phone before looking back at me.
"Hey, how're you feeling?" I rub my eyes sleepily and sit up, straddling him. "I'm alright, what are you doing up anyway?" I question as he wraps his hands around my waist.
"Couldn't sleep, decided to call mom." He replies, his eyes drooping from exhaustion. He inhales deeply, looking heavenward and smiling a little.
"Austin," he hums in reply, turning to me. "Are you okay?" He nods silently, placing his head on my shoulder.
"Yeah, just very tired. It seems like it's been a long time but it's just 4:30 a.m and I'm very very exhausted, I'm having this killer headache and it feels like life sucks. Driving in the rain isn't as fun as kissing in the rain, you know?" He chuckles and I smile softly.
Even the tea didn't get him to sleep huh?
"Let me get you some aspirin, you should be better with a cup of hot chocolate, yeah?" He smirks and places a quick peck on my lips.
"You know you're awesome wife material, I can't wait to call you Mrs. Henderson." He says in a husky voice that has shivers running down my spine, my stomach fluttering with the whole army of anything that flutters in the forest.
It takes me a while to catch my breath from the shock and I lean in, pressing my lips to his firmly. "Well, you're going to have to wait lover boy, it takes a few months to get a wedding ready." I wink and he chuckles deeply.
"My beautiful baby girl, I'll join you to make the chocolate." He squeezes my waist before getting me off the bed. He grabs a random shirt and throws it on, slipping his feet into his slippers as I slip my feet into mine. The floors are very cold now that the rain is more.
We reach the kitchen and I turn on the lights, watching Austin go straight to the cupboards for a bag of marshmallows. I open the cabinet for medicine and take out the aspirin, pouring a glass of water for him. I hand them to him and watch as he swallows it. He immediately pops open the bag of marshmallows and throws one in his mouth. I roll my eyes, stiffle a yawn and take a carton of milk and pour it in a saucepan.
"April, you're tired, go back to bed." I hear Austin's voice and a second later, I feel his hands on my waist as he places a kiss on my head.
"No, no, I'm alright, I need to start getting up early if I want to get my sleeping schedule back on track, hehe." I laugh a little and turn to peck him. He seems a little hesitant but he nods and goes back to the stool by the counter.
"I wonder where all the maids are." He hums to himself and I smile. "Grandma Cecile let's them off at 10 p.m, you came back pretty late so you didn't see them go home. Besides, they live very close to the manor so if there's an emergency, they'll be here." I explain as I add the cocoa and sugar.
"Oh, yeah, that makes sense."
°•°•°|°•°•°
Something's been up today. Besides the fact that Austin has been extremely dizzy but can't fall asleep and is totally exhausted, June and Hakeem have been avoiding each other all day.
And it's 2:00 p.m.
Sometimes I catch Hakeem looking at her when she doesn't realize and vice versa. I don't know what happened between them but I'm not liking it. June hasn't spoken to any of us about it and anytime we try to bring it up, she just walks out. Even Hakeem has been in his room most of the time and only came out for breakfast and lunch.
I look up and see Austin swaying a little as he stands up. He blinks his eyes really fast and holds onto the table. "Hey, are you okay?" I quickly jump to him, holding his face.
"Yeah, I guess. My head feels like the drum in a gladiator arena." He winces and I carefully pull him to the couch in the lounge room.
The aspirin really did nothing?
"Hey April," he furrows his brows a little as he calls for my attention. "Yeah?" I move closer to him and place my hands on his forehead to feel his temperature.
"Where are you?" Huh?
His eyes roll back and he falls limp against the couch. "Austin?" No reply.
I hold his face between my sweaty palms, my heart racing and my breaths shortening. "Austin, wake up babe." I shake him but he doesn't even flinch.
"Austin!"