Now they have Dad, too. I paced the backyard, shaking out my hands that kept wanting to tremble, fighting tears of fear and frustration. I didn't expect it to happen like this, I thought to the Light. They won't let me help. They're chaining me here. How can I give myself up for her if I can't even get to her? How can I save him if I'm taken by saving her? Help me, please!
An uneasy feeling clanged in my chest, but I didn't have the mental space to analyze it. My hands shook—and so did my breath. I was terrified, and so angry. I wanted to punch something. Or someone. I wanted to cry like a child. I wanted to burn down the world.
Helpless. That's how I felt. Utterly helpless—but because of the choices of others, which made it even worse.
I stalked back and forth in the cold, swearing and praying, but nothing changed. Nothing was going to change.
