Either the universe exists on its own and is meaningless or he was in a simulation. Or maybe both. The universe is this thing that became and now is, and it is mind-boggling to think about. Hikaru realized that his attempts and latent desire to assign a purpose or creator to his own existence and the universe are just one of the many limitations of his own "human" mind.
When he dies and stop existing, the universe stops existing for him as well. The universe and self are one and the same - one cannot exist without the other. Of course, the universe doesn't really stop, but his experience, ability to contemplate and relate to it certainly does. So, for all intents and purposes, from his perspective, the universe ends when he dies.
…but it also began when he was born. And there's the twist; from his subjective perspective and experience, there is nothing before him and nothing after him. One might even consider that oneself is an eternal being willing oneself and reality into existence. One is essentially a god of sorts - the god of his own experience, and no one else's. A "god" who exists, experiences, and then doesn't.
He lurched into reality somehow, and now here he is. His entire relationship with reality is him and nothing but him and he will never know if everyone else he knows is also experiencing likewise. It's unprovable either way…
However, Hikaru knew it was likely that everyone else was conscious thinking lifeforms just like him and that the universe will watch on regardless of what he does until he dies. Then what if Hikaru became the infinite and intangible universe? What if the universe dies and stops existing before him? Would he become the god of everything?
He will watch people fight for their lives only to die and fade into the river of time. Legacies crumble and forgotten. He will watch geniuses and talents birth into the galaxy only to fall as time went on.
This is Hikaru's thought process but he doesn't realise that deep down inside he was just vengeful. The universe had brought him into existence without love. Even if his parents loved him, he couldn't feel it. The whole world was monochrome and bleak. Everyone felt something, even if they were suffering, their world was not empty like Hikaru's.
It doesn't matter if a cruel god had decided to bring him to existence with a "disability" for their amusement or the universe of cold probability had finally brought him into the world after an infinite amount of time and countless permutations, he will exact his revenge.
Whether it's a god or a material universe, he will take his time to watch it die like a perverse killer who watches their victim in the eyes as they slowly bleed out on the ground, who is wishing that death would come sooner but is not granted.
Just behind Chiho's shoulder, a man in his 30s and a business suit grinned savagely as the waitress had placed a plate filled with a stack of steaks before him.
The waitress was about to cook it for him but he politely refused. He then put two steaks on the grill. Five seconds of waiting later, he started cutting the raw velvet steak from the plate and shoved it in his mouth.
They were in the Kobe steakhouse in Yokohama city about 45 minutes away from school by public transport plus some walking. The city had a population of 4 million which was small compared to Tokyo's 10 million.
Both had mountains and the ocean but Yokohama had a cheaper cost of living, greener and has a wider feeling while the bustling streets of Tokyo felt narrow and the air more polluted.
Seeing what is presumably another parasite was evidence that there were more of them in densely populated areas, so much that he saw one in a steakhouse upon visiting.
Even if the ratio of the parasite to human is the same in other areas, by having more hosts in one spot, the infection rate could increase exponentially much more compared to the same 4 million separated into smaller colonies because of the transport and other logistical reasons.
"So, is it worth it?" Chiho asked after Hikaru stuffed another steak piece in his mouth with a fork.
"It's so good. It's really, like, it's, like, buttery. It's, like, as if it was, like, coated in butter, but it wasn't." Hikaru replied while chewing.
"Right? But it wasn't. It was literally just salt and pepper, which is crazy."
This was the Kobe steak, A4 or A5 graded beef. A5 graded beef stands at the top of the steak world. Only 1% of all Japanese beef produce is A5 each year.
Some foreigners were eating Kobe beef in the restaurant. Hikaru didn't know if they knew that the steak here was A4, not A5. He had his multi-lingual skills improved after absorbing knowledge from others although, most of it was English which he already had a high standard in for a Japanese person. The foreign group of people beside him were speaking in Chinese.
"Boss... the guns... Genji."
Hikaru could only absorb 1% of the total experiences of a person but could gain more from self-learning by looking at the memories he absorbed with the accompanying 5 senses data.
He had tried this but it was too time-consuming and it was a more efficient use of his time to train his combat skills. If he had nothing to do in class, he would be reviewing the memories he absorbed.
He only made out a few words from that group but Genji's mention had piqued his interest. Since they were wearing streetwear and were basically advertising themselves as Chinese gangsters, he wondered if they were part of the infamous Chinese gang.
There was a small crime organisation predominantly filled with Chinese members that were often nicknamed the "Triad". This was an exaggeration as the crime syndicate wasn't big enough yet but it may well become true. The Triad had been growing every year but the Yakuza, Japanese gangsters have yet expressed their stance towards them.
It is rumoured that this group wasn't part of any real Triad from overseas and were self-formed. Perhaps they'll grow independently or maybe they seek an alliance with other triads.
Hikaru curiously listened to them but they seem to have changed topics.