While Michael was walking around town at around four o'clock to ease his mind on his 'threat' to the council, he suddenly he remembered
"Oh crap, I forgot about the Principal and Tommy!"
But now it would be no use, it was already too late.
'Maybe I can just meet up with them tommorow'
Then he thought about the S.E.D, his past, Alan...
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Michael had been learning more about magic, how it affected his surroundings, himself and others, sword fighting and a bit of hand to hand.
But none of it had been able to help him out on 'that' day
When the U.A.F tried to drive them off from ST. Marie.
That day had been Alans last
And Michael somehow doubted he could ever live up to what Alan had dreamt of him.
He had regrets sure, like how he never confessed to Maria about how he felt, how he never talked to the Principal about his past.
That day, he remembered his biggest regret.
Nocte Caedes.
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Michael remembered Alan's last words quite clearly. He knew what he wanted to do, but not how.
He wanted revenge, hell, he wanted revenge on the world itself at this point for all that happened to him till now.
But most importantly, he wanted the downfall of the U.A.F
Sighing, he quickly moved back to his little apartment, not much in the terms of size; but he didnt care, he never complained much either way.
Surprise for him, Kallen was already there, waiting for him.
"I was wondering where you'd gone, took you long enough to get here, kid"
Michael didn't even want to exchange their usual banter
He just wanted out, a normal life, maybe retire, have a family that wont be killed in front of him nor abandon him.
"Yeah yeah, what ever" he said lazily while laying down on his bed, tired, sad and frustrated at himself mostly.
"You still think it's your fault?" Kallen asked from his position, sitting on a wooden chair, legs crossed, looking at him with those expecting eyes, thinking he knew about him, his burden..
Then again, he did know, he knew more about how he felt, more than even maybe Michael himself.
"No.. but I still feel like I should have been him, I should have died that day.. I.. I wasn't good enough.. I never am" Michael said, pouring his soul and essence, and feelings into words.. and yet it felt fake to him.. because he knew he couldn't and wouldn't be able to do anything to change that day if given the chance..
He was weak that day, so he suffered the cost.
"I know.. I know.. before I was a 'soldier' as they say.. even though I'm not, I wanted to be a.... psychiatrist or a threapist atleast" Kallen blurted out
"I wanted to know how people feel when they've had their loved one are tken from them.. I wanted to know how sadness felt like.. then I experienced it myself, that dream died the day I'dexpierenced that loss" he said, cryptically almost
What's that got to do with all this?" Michael asked as Kallen smiled at him
"Michael, do you know my age?"
What Kallen asked was wierd to him, because Kallen didnt look to be much more older than him; maybe by two or three years at most, but not far enough to mame him look significantly older than him
Although he knew that appearances could lie, they could be deceitful; key point being the loli Principal
"Uh... nineteen?" Michael guessed
How wrong he was
Kallen just smiled an uncharacteristic smile
"I'm well over three times the principals age" that wouldn't be too much at first glance, the Principal looked to be thirteen at most, so thirty nine would be most peoples guess at Kallens age.
That would be a wrong assumption since the Principal was over two hundred years old
So, Kallen would be over six hundred years old.
"And you want to know something? You aren't the first holder of lalazhard, I've met three of them in my lifetime, you being the fourth"
"And they weren't like you, they were definately not as stable as you are" Kallen said with sad eyes, perhaps indicating the loss of a loved one to what he represents.
Just saying that, Michael understood what he meant to say
Kallen had lost more than him at some point.
"That's why I was always cold to everyone, even you, even after we found out you hold lalazhard, because I knew what happens to it's holders, what they do, what they're capable of"
At that, Michael was intrigued
"What do you mean by 'what happens to it's holders' and 'what they do'?"
"You don't know? I mean, you really are an anomaly though, something that shouldn't exist.. all of lalazhard's holders grew insane after ten years of holding him, they murdered millions upon millions, thats why everyone fears you, they fear what you represent, they resent what you could be, or what they think you will be"
So thats why they resented him, cursing at him after they found out what he contained.
He was sure he wasn't insane.. but maybe he was, you don't know if you're insane or not from your own perspective.
But if Kallen, who'd met three of his predecessors said he wasn't insane, relatively, maybe he wasn't, or maybe he was and Kallen didn't want to believe that.
"But, I digress, the point I'm trying to say is; you have to move on.. if not-" Kallen got off the chair and started to reach for the exit door, then calmly and
Simply stated-
"Then it wasn't Alan who died that day, it was you"
What did he mean by that? Why did it bother him so much? How could he let himself not understand-
A part of him wanted to deny it, but he, very deep down inside himself, agreed
He had been a fool, he stopped being who he was and had stopped interacting with anyone except Tommy and maybe Maria, unlike when he was younger.
He had fallen into depression due to all the stress, all the worries that came with avibg friends in the army, he didn't want to experience loss.. he was a fool to believe he could save them all.
He was right.. it wasn't Alan that died that day, it was him.
"And that might be the case, I remember when you were at the height of my stomach-" Kallen said,opening the door to the corridor, ending Michael's train of thought.
"You were a lot different back then"
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Michael had awoken with a small smile, somewhat enlightened by the older mans wise words, he wanted to change, get out of this insanity
Then as always, he began out his morning as usual
Taking a bath, check
Eating breakfast, check; and on a personal note, he really should've learnt how to cook
Brushing his teeth, check
Finding Tommy outside his door with a grin, check
"Eh?" Tommy said, weirded out by Michael's positive mood
"Hey, Tommy, what did you want to do today?" Definitely freaky for someone who constantly insults you to act so friendly
So he took the correct course of action
"Who are you and what did you do to Michael? What happened? You're almost never this positive!" He stated, dumbfounded that michael could start the morning at such a positive note
"Well, Kallen might've knocked some sense into me, so you can thank him later, but don't you for a second think that I'm going to start grinning ear to ear like you, idiot!"
"...good to have you back, Mikey" Tommy responded, a soft smile creeping up his face.
"It's good to be back too, brother"
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Michael, Tommy and The Principal, whose name they had never ever heard about were talking about what they'd done at ST. Marie, with even Michael talking, this time, it was a lot more livelier
"-And then, the next town had given up even before we even arrived at it! They'd turned tail and fled!" Tommy said, laughing at the U.A.F's expense
Even Michael held a smile
"You know, it's weird to see you like this, ya know, like back when we were thirteen? Thats how you were back then.. if not a little bit more possitive but eh, beggars can't be choosers!" Tommy barked out as The Principal just smiled
"I remember when you narely came to my shoulders, now look at you; you've come a long way haven't you?" What she said was infact true.
Michael just blushed, unsure if she was teasing him at having more than average height for humans or something.
He wasn't human, but it wasn't like he didn't look human.
Technically, for him, being human was having compassion for your family, friends and allies and on the bad end, having hatred for those who have wronged you
That checked in with Michael.
"Have you ever asked lalazhard why he attack your home in the first place though?" The Principal suddenly asked, peeking Tommy's curiosity as well
"Well, yeah, I had; but all he did was mumble something about green eyes and 'damn higher beings' or something" Michael said with a shrug
"Well, it was nice talking to you two, and just for you two to know; you both were always my favourites at the academy, you always saved me from extra paperwork and all" The Principal said with a grin
It was almost wholesome, if not a bit creepy due to the fact that she looked like a thirteen year old at most.
They'd talk more but the door was suddenly opened
"Hm? What is it Kallen? Is this about Michael's pranks or something-" she started before Michael just rolled his eyes and let Kallen naturally cut her off
"No, I'm actually here for these two, the council has officially sent them for a new mission"
"But we're still here, aren't we?" Tommy asked Michael
"Yeah, that means that they want us to go then.. but still, its just barely been a day and a half and they're sending us out again?" Michael asked, they didn't want to go out yet since they had already been back from an important mission, protocol should state that they get atleast one week off, if not a month.
"And we didn't even collect our pay.." Tommy blurted out a bit too soon, causing Michael to want to say no
"No" and Michael usually said what he wanted, unless he bottled it all up.
"Oh and the missions about the dragon attacks"
...that caused Michael's attitude to change one eighty.
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After saying good by to the Principal, Maria, Kallen, Professor Cameron.. well that was just a note to be fair but atleast they said it
Then after that Michael felt happier, more so than he'd ever felt
But then he realised
Michael hadn't realised before, that he'd need to go through the village of heroes, a barren village by the mountain side, and his previous home
Lost memories began to invade his mind ,of the place, what it represented to him
All a blur
His aunt,
His uncles, Yuuchirou and Randy
His father, Okami
He couldn't remember their faces, but the emotions he felt with them were as clear as day to him
He didn't want to go there yet, but he had no choice
They were sending him and tommy alone, usually they'd send atleast four hundred men, if not thousands
But since his status was a one man army, they were sending him and his partner, alone
Although it wasn't that bad, he'd find out about the Dragons, maybe the S.E.D and what they want.
But he was not expected to find inner peace. Yet it happened