A twenty-something year old man follows the current of a narrow river. The river drops at a cliff, the bottom of which disappears into blackness. The man is 5'6, but has a horrible slouch that makes him look four inches shorter. His badly-dyed and very matted hair matches his short-sleeved yellow shirt but pairs atrociously with his light-washed jeans. He is holding a loose-leaf suicide note. This is Juno. Juno walks to the edge of the cliff and stares down with sunken eyes.
Behind him, a taller man with tired but bright kumquat eyes appears. The taller man wears all semi-formal black, including a black ponytail, save for a red tie and a skull-shaped brooch that matches the color of his eyes. This is Oto. Juno hears Oto, but doesn't turn to acknowledge him.
"Nice weather we're having. Now I know that sounds like a really stupid cliché way to start a conversation, but really! Feels like it's been raining for centuries." Oto smiles at the back of Juno, who considers Oto's words, but says nothing. "I know someone. She really loves rain. I can't wrap my head around it. You can't stroll or dance in the— well, you can, but you get all wet. I'm Oto, by the way. I always forget to introduce myself. How rude, am I right? Do you want any orange juice? I only have pulp. I'd say sorry for only carrying pulp, but pulp is amazing. And you might as well have some while you wait, since I forgot my—"
"I'm jumping." Juno grips the note tighter. "I am going to jump off of this cliff and end my life and there is nothing you can do about it."
Seconds pass.
Oto blinks. "Oh... well, you're right."
Juno turns around. "That's all you have to say?"
"Well, it's just not my job..."
"To comfort me? It's not your job to be decent?"
"I just, I don't do that. I'm only here to collect you and I can't right now, sorry."
Juno's eyes widen. "Collect me?"
"You have made up your mind, right?"
"I..."
A black Hearse pulls up behind Oto. Juno opens his mouth as if to ask where it came from and why he hadn't noticed it before, but he quickly resigns. He has several questions, none of which he wants answers to more than he wants to jump off of the cliff.
On the Hearse's driver's side is a sprawling cursive engraving that reads "WEST." The driver's door swings open, and a short, curvy woman steps out. She wears an outfit that femininely matches Oto's, and her red hair is kept in a spiky ponytail and chauffeur hat. This is Cheron. With two hands, she grips a simple black Scythe that is taller than her. Cheron's eyes look like dull half-circles, and when she speaks, only her mouth moves.
"Oto, you forgot the— Oh. He's not done yet?"
The words ring in Juno's ears like tinnitus. "Not done yet?"
Oto skips to Cheron and grabs the Scythe. "Cheron! Thank you! Okay, okay, okay. I'm ready." He spins around to grin at Juno again.
Cheron holds up a thumb. The three stand in silence.
Cheron nudges Oto. "Is he going to...?"
"I think he's not feeling it right now..."
Juno pulls his hair. "Not feeling it? I'm doing it!"
Oto holds a hand up defensively. "I wasn't trying to discredit you, but if you really don't want to, you don't have to."
Juno bursts. He was waiting to hear that. The moment crescendos, as if tuning out all other sounds.
"Yes! Yes, I do! I have tried everything and I have nothing! Nothing but grief! That's just what this world does to you, you know? No one ever bothers to notice your pain, let alone give you the time of day until it's too late. It's all just rolling a boulder up a hill, just for that damned rock to come down and crush you over and over and over and over again! God! How could I have been so blind? Well, now I know. A man can only see clearly with tears in his eyes."
Juno sobers himself. After wiping tears from his eyes, he sees Oto twirling the Scythe like a baton.
Cheron looks at Oto. "If you keep doing that, it'll fall."
"Bingo-bongo-you-are-wrongo," Oto shoots back. Like a teen unplugging an earbud, he glances at Juno, then snickers back to Cheron.
"Hey, dude, he just mentioned Sissy-piss."
"Sisyphus?" Cheron corrects.
"I know I just hate that guy."
Juno gapes and tilts his head, hypnotized by Oto and Cheron's exchange. The three stand in silence again. Oto is still twirling the Scythe. Cheron picks at a cuticle on her thumb.
Juno, still staring, decides that one of his questions is worth asking. "Is Death really this stupid?"
Oto glances at Juno again, stupidly. "Hm? Wuzzat? Also, do you plan on ever... Are you...?"
"Are you going to kill yourself or not?" Cheron blurts.
Oto's eyes widen. He whispers something to Cheron through gritted teeth. Cheron shrugs back.
Defeated, Juno sighs. "I... That's the plan, yes..."
"Good, because we're on a tight schedule. So if you don't die soon, we're going to move on to another client," Cheron continues, looking at her cuticle and not Juno.
"Gee, Cheron, could you be any less blunt? He is suicidal, you know."
Cheron cocks a brow. "Uhm. If you're not going to... jump off of this cliff and kill yourself... we're going to find someone else who will... die."
"That's worse!"
"That's worse?"
"Yes! Why would it—?" Dismissing the conversation, Oto shoos her away. Cheron squints up at him. "Anyway, I'm sorry to say that we have to go now. But if you change your mind, I promise that we'll come back for you... Uh..."
Trailing off, Oto grabs a black smartphone from his back pocket. He is wearing leather gloves, so he struggles to input his code and enter the correct app. The app is marked with an icon that is identical to Oto's brooch. Within the app are daily to-reap lists and client files, one of which he stops scrolling at and opens.
"There we go. I promise that we'll come back for you, Mr. Ponky-Schbonk."
Cheron pops up from under Oto's arm. "Wrong file."
"We'll come back for you, Gillian Nguyen."
"Juno," Juno says.
Oto looks at him. "Hm?"
"My name is Juno Hu."
"I do?"
Cheron starts back toward the Hearse. "Okay, Juno-Juno Hu. I'm Cheron. Bye."
Oto smiles and waves at Juno, then follows the redhead.
Juno frantically scuttles away from the cliff. "Wait!"
Grabbing a gallon of orange juice from the trunk, Oto shifts his eyes to Juno. Cheron has already buckled her seatbelt. Juno notices that the Scythe has disappeared, but he decides not to question that either.
"Uh. Can I come with you guys?
Oto grins. "So you can find inspiration for your personal art exhibition and gain enough money to pay for your college tuition so you can achieve a job that pays above minimum wage but still allows time for your personal projects, a formula for humble but passionate living conditions?"
"So you can find a reason to kill yourself?" Cheron hollers, ready to drive.
"Cheron!"
"I thought we were guessing."
Juno sways uncomfortably. "So... yeah?"
Oto's grin widens. "Yeah!"
"No," Cheron yells.
"No..." The grin drops.
Juno stops swaying. "Then... I guess I'll just... wait for you guys to come back."
Oto enters the Hearse. Cheron exits it and speaks just loud enough so Juno can hear.
"Don't wait. At least act like you're alive."
They drive away. Juno turns back around and sits, dangling his legs from the precipice. Seconds pass and he repositions himself to be farther from the edge.