Dime
"Where have you been Dime?" Fury filled Rancho's dark eyes as he stormed inside my underground room. The room I shared with Micah. The place where we shared stories and laughter together. Where we made love. I stared pointblank at Rancho. He was by far the closest friend I've had.
"Mourning Micah's death." I said deadpan and threw myself on the bed.
He scoffed. "Stop this Dime. This is not you."
"What do you know about me?"
He sighed. "Fine! I may not know much about you but I know well enough that I must never get myself emotionally involved with a woman if I want to survive."
I clenched my teeth at that. I've been informed over and over about that since I got in but never really cared as long as I will live. I never really understood why, until I saw what they've been doing. "Do you even know why they're doing this Rancho? Why we have to capture women and let them be raped and butchered to death in front of everyone? What that has to do with us surviving?"
His stone face told me nothing but I know he knew something. "Shouldn't you just be grateful that you're alive? Why do you have to question everything?"
I sat up bewildered at what I just heard, "You mean, you never even once asked why?"
He raked his fingers through his dark curly hair. "I'm alive that's all that matters."
"Just leave. You won't understand, anyway." I sighed.
Rancho looked at me for a few minutes and though I was staring at the cracked mud ceiling, I felt the weight of his stare. Geez, what's wrong with him? "We'll meet tonight, be there."
"Why should I?" He gaped at me speechless. "To watch them fuck and kill women? I'm sick of it!"
"Why are you being being like this? You've sworn loyalty to the Brotherhood! You can't opt out just like that. Do you think you could've survived without them?"
I let out a boisterous laugh and spat in sarcasm, "Do you really think my loyalty lies for them? I wanted extra protection for myself. I wanted to live longer that's why I joined. For myself and not for those fuckers." With my fists clenched, my eyes bore into his. "Now you want me to be grateful to them for killing the woman I love? The woman I loved for the first time in my entire life! If that was you, would you be happy watching your girl being fucked and butchered to death?"
Rancho's lips curled in a smirk. "You know if I were you, I wouldn't even think of bringing her near the Brotherhood's territory. They own this—"
"Own this place? What gave them the right to declare this is theirs?"
"Have you seen a single Risen around, Dime? Necropolis is filled with them and the Brotherhood is keeping them away! And please stop acting like you're the victim here. You led your girlfriend to her death." I looked at him, confusion and contempt in my eyes. Rancho walked towards me and gave my head a knock. "You really have no idea, Dime?" He chuckled when I kept my silence. "You brought her here despite the risk that she might be caught. You knew what would happen and still you kept her here. It was your fault that she died, Dime."
Bull's eye. My palms went cold and I knew the color left my face. That thought never crossed my mind and I tore my gaze away from him as realization struck me. I thought I was keeping Micah safe.
"You led her to wherever she is now—"
"Stop." No.
"You and only you are responsible for her death—"
"Stop it." I was protecting her.
"You killed her—"
"Enough." I didn't.
"You murdered the girl you loved. It was you and you alone. Not the Brotherhood or anyone else but you—"
My chest heaved in hate and as soon as I stood, my fist met Rancho's face. He fell on the ground and his eyes bore into mine as if willing me to be inflicted with pain. I grabbed him by his clothes and started beating the shit out of him.
"Dime!" How dare he blame me for Micah's death? "Stop this!" What did he know about her? Did he know how many times I saved her life? "We're brothers!" Brothers? Hell no! No brothers would do this! Or would they? I had no idea. I didn't even know what being brothers meant.
I scoffed and let Rancho go, his face bloodied and bruised. He sat up and wiped the blood away from his nose. "Done?"
I shrugged. "I guess."
He nodded as he stood up, looking cool. "Good." I wasn't surprised when a blow came straight to my face—well he kind of does that most of the time, that was expected. Somehow I was glad to welcome the physical pain, at least I knew the source. I stumbled and fell butt-first on the ground.
"The Brotherhood will be very disappointed if you leave. Move on. People die everyday, you should be grateful she didn't end up being the Risen's meal." His empty words echoed as he headed the long narrow way up to the alley way.
Grateful she didn't—? I laughed bitterly. How can I be grateful for my loved one's death? She was raped and murdered right before my very eyes and I wasn't able to do anything. I saw how she cried desperately for my help but I was chained, useless. What kind of man was I?
"You and only you are responsible for her death."
Rancho's words echoed in my mind and my eyes swam with unwanted tears. It was really me. He was right. I led her to this death trap. How could I have been so stupid?
I found myself wishing to take back the time. I could've brought Micah somewhere else but here—where I thought I could look after her, but then on second thoughts I realized that I should've never met her in the first place.
Pain squeezed my heart and before I knew it, I was already heading to the muster point where the Brotherhood meets up. They'd probably be giving members their rations of food and water; but that's not what filled my mind as I pushed the embossed block at the end of the wood and mud stairs. I'd fucking kill every single on of them. They could kill me too for all I care. I was already dead anyway, I might as well just take them down with me.
A wall opened into a narrow slit and I squeezed my way in to the dark and wider passageway. I lit the torch that lay in the corner and headed to the muster point. The place was dim with shadows dancing with the fire from the torches. I pulled up the hood of my blood and mud covered cloak.
There were forty-three members so far. Three higher ranks were in front, surrounded by the stack of sacks and wooden crates while they gave out supplies. A wooden door stood behind them where the Council will emerge from later. No one spoke. No one showed their faces to the other. No one was allowed to make friends and chat. Only the Council can see and speak with everyone. I never really cared why.
Survive. Live. What's the difference between both? Can people survive but not live? Can anyone live without surviving?
I looked back at the times when I fought and escaped the Risen. Damn. They were tough. They kept coming back no matter what. I savaged food everywhere. Frogs, squirrel, birds—even ants. I'd be so lucky to find snakes. There was a time when I hung out with a group but escaped one night—when we couldn't find food anymore—I sneaked out into the woods to be alone and saw the 'leader' kill his friend, took his flesh and brought them back to the camp. No one asked, they just cooked the meat over the fire and ate.
Why do people strive to live when they know there's only death in the end?
The feeling of someone pushing me brought me back to the muster point. The line had already moved and I advanced forward staring at the long knife that lay on top of a wooden crate. Looking down, I accepted the bag full of supplies, quickly snatched the weapon and hid it inside the container I held close.
Fury raged within me as the council came out from the wooden door. I was supposed to attack and stab one of them when a strange feeling stopped me. The taste of salt water filled my mouth and I gagged as I felt it flooding my lungs. I shook my head and blinked twice or thrice as images of being underwater filled my eyes.
--Help me...
I fisted my chest as I felt a constricting pain inside. That voice.
The dimly lit sun and someone going down in the water ended the vision—or whatever it was. I breathed heavily and found myself on my hands and knees on the dried mud ground. Everyone stared at me and saw a man from the Council walked towards me.
"What did you see?" He asked.
See? How the fuck did he know that I saw something?
--Help me...
The words echoed in my mind and suddenly I was filled with the sense of urgency like I was going to lose something—something important, something more valuable than my life. I felt like I needed to run and find that place. I needed to save someone.
"Tell me what did you see?" When I didn't speak, the man ordered the high ranks to take me in his chamber.
No, I can't stay here any longer. I—I need to go. As soon as they grabbed me, my hand found the knife and stabbed it immediately on someone's chest. A woman's cry echoed as the person's hood I stabbed came off. I didn't dare to think what their relation to each other was or why he let a woman in. I had to go. I needed to be there. Wherever that place was, I needed to go there.
"Let me go!" I seethed as another grabbed my arm. The common people drew away, afraid that they might get killed. My eyes fixed towards the man just meters away from me, he, together with the rest of the Council just stood and watched.
I pulled my hand that held the long knife and sliced the enemy's hip. It wasn't deep but he stepped away, giving me me a chance to stab the other at the side of his neck. I felt a heavy force bringing me down to my knees but I didn't take time to wonder where that force came from. I needed to get away, so instead of going for the Council I ran back towards the door I came from. I squeezed my way in once again to the narrow opening and headed upstairs. I slammed open the heavy wooden door and didn't bother closing it as I started running.
"Where are you?" I shouted over the plain field, "Answer me!" A lump formed in my throat as feeling of loss hammered inside my chest. Shit!
I got back to the place where the heaps of decaying corpses lay. I got so used to the reeking smell of rotting flesh that I barely noticed it. My heart nearly stopped at the sight of the white flower dancing with the wind. Micah. Shouting men brought me instantly to my senses.
Help me...
Dammit! Adrenaline rush sent me sliding down the slanting side of the cliff and barely felt the scratches from the sharp edged stones. "Ah!" I gasped as the heat's friction burned my back, but was relieved as I tumbled down the rocky earth. Unfortunately, I landed on my face. "Speak to me. Tell me where you are."
I waited but despite the silence, I took off down the steep slope as if my feet knew where they'd take me. I just hoped that the Brotherhood won't catch up to me yet. Not yet. Not until I get to whoever was calling me.
--Help me. Anyone...
That voice sent my heart racing and me flying. I didn't care that my limbs ached or my lungs felt like exploding—all I knew is that I had to find her. I ran so fast I didn't realize that I was already at the intersection. My chest rose and fell as in the middle of the forest I found a girl huddled up and surrounded by dead men, the one wearing white cloak swimming in his own blood while three others who wore black shirts and tattered jeans lay lifeless—deflated would be the word to describe them.
My eyes darted towards the girl, her long chestnut brown hair damp and tangled. Her knee-length white baby doll dress also damp and stained with dirt. The voice I was following was forgotten as I caught sight of the girl's face. Oh God, can this be real? Were my eyes playing tricks on me? My heart leaped to my throat and I had to swallow hard before I could muster a word.
"Micah..." I stood breathless as she turned her gaze towards me and saw the girl I just held lifeless, decapitated yesterday.
I wanted so bad to take her in my arms and kiss her but I was so afraid that if I move she'd be gone. Was I given a second chance? I couldn't believe my eyes. Tears started to blur my sight and Micah just stared at me with wide eyes. Oh, those eyes. Her eyes? I shrugged at the thought that there was something a miss.
From a distance, men shouted and I knew that the Brotherhood has already tracked me. We needed to get going, I couldn't let her die again. I had to take her away. I took quick steps towards her but froze as soon as I pulled Micah up to her feet. A warm electrifying sensation crept from where our skin touched to my entire body.
She pulled away but I caught her hand in a vice-like grip. I can't let her go, I can't afford to watch her die the same way. "They're coming, we need to go!" My voice trembled as I spoke and pain slashed through me as she looked doubtfully at me. I looked over and saw shadows of thirty or so men coming from the woods towards us. "Shit!" Images from yesterday filled my mind.
"Please, trust me. Trust me again. I won't let them hurt you again, ever. Come with me please, I'll keep you safe." My heart sank when she hesitated, and though she went with me I would forever remember that she will never trust me again the way she used to. Because I led her to her death. It was my fault and I was willing to pay the price—I'd take all her anger.
But for now, I needed to keep her safe like I promised. I fell on my knees as something hit my right shoulder but endured the pain when I pulled the arrow out. Micah came rushing to me. Worry and fear filled her eyes. "Oh my God!"
I gave her a crooked smile and my heart fluttered as I noticed her hold her breath. "It's not poisoned if that's what you're worried about." But my smile faded at the thought that she might have been hurt. "And you? You're not shot are you?" She shook her head.
Good. I thought to myself and dragged her once again to her feet. I led her to the field of thorny vines and cleared the way for her. "Just stay behind me, love. Just follow me okay?"
The vines were heavy, the thorns hard and sharp but I bore the pain each time it cut through my flesh, it was nothing compared to what she went through. A sigh of relief escaped my throat as I found the perfect place for her to hide. It overwhelmed me to have her back that I finally gave in to the urge of taking her in my arms. She pulled away but I tightened my arms around her, and it felt as though I have been stabbed a thousand times. But I knew I can make things right again.
"I have no words to describe how grateful and happy I am to have been given this second chance." And I meant every single word of what I said. No one ever gets the chance to be given this opportunity. I cupped her face when I released her. "Stay here okay? Wait till I come back. No matter what happens, don't leave. Don't leave me." Then I kissed her hair. Oh, I'd love to just stay this way forever but I can't, not just yet. I needed to take care of the Brotherhood. I swallowed hard as I tore myself away from her and held the vines up so she could fit and hide. She'd be safe there until I get back.
"Hey, wait!" Micah called just as I was about to leave. "Don't get yourself killed."
"I won't. I'd definitely come back. I'll come back for you." And that was what I intended to do. I'll live. I will come back in one piece for Micah, especially now that I heard that she wanted me back. A shy smile splayed over her lips and I took off running once again.