CHAPTER 15 | PART 2
S U M M E R
"That accident happened because of me. 'Cause if I hadn't brought him to the party with me he wouldn't... have died." He sobs as every word leaves his mouth.
"Matt, what exactly happened?"
"There was this party that I wanted to go to but Austin... Austin wanted to stay home that night, he even asked me to stay too but I really wanted to head out. With a lot of persuasion I finally got him to go with.
"Since he didn't want to drink we took his car. The house was packed with drunk guys and all, smoke filled the room, music blasting. I wanted to get lost that night, let all the stress and worries be blocked out so I got drunk and stoned." He shakes his head in disappointment, tears race down his face, his eyes turn red and puffy as well as tears run down his nose and he sniffs.
He was all broken.
"Then, mid night... he dragged me out of the party and into his car, I remember I was really trashing around. He fastened my sit belt and we got to head home. On the way as he was driving I got even more restless. I blasted the radio, moved frantically here and there. I swear I'm not ever getting high ever again.
"I unbuckled my sit belt some how and was being a pain in his ass so he unfastened his-" I pull him into a crashing hug, his tears wet my shirt as he clings to me strongly.
"He checked the road, Summer. He checked the god damn road first I remember I swear it on my life, then he was trying to fasten my belt and.... and the truck... the truck... he flew out of... the ca... car while I... while I... shit!" His sobbing hardens, his body shaking, tumbling so bad.
"Shhhhh." I sooth his back trying to comfort him as my own tears soak his shirt.
"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay." I repeat in his ear with shaky voice.
"It's gonna be alright."
"I'm here, Matt. I'm here."
"It was an accident, you didn't mean for it to happen."
"It's gonna be alright." I whisper into him as he holds me tight.
"He could have pulled over you know? Why didn't he just pull over!" His hold on me only gets stronger.
"I... I know." I nod.
"It should have been me! I was the cause, it should have been me." Matt's head is buried deep inside my neck, tears rolling down to my chest.
"Matt." I pull away to look him dead in the eyes.
"You didn't know. You did mean for this to happen." I shake my head.
"It was a terrible accident. An accident." I cup his wet cheeks into my hand and assure him looking to those hazel orbs that just looked shattered and broken.
:::
I again embrace him. Soothing and rubbing his back as we both shade tears.
We stayed in our position - me on my toes, him sitting on the chair - for what felt like eternity. Even though it's making my feet hurt I would do anything for him no matter what, no matter the pain.
The pain got too much though and I shift uncomfortably with him in my hold. He pulls away from me completely, whips his tears with the back of his hands and brings himself together.
I stay there now on my knees unshifted, unmoved, watching him with sadness and heartbreak. He shouldn't have gone through that, not alone.
"Why didn't you call me then?" I ask.
"I didn't want you to see me like this." He responds.
But I'm his best friend.
"Was it when you told me you had to go visit the country side and there won't be any connection there?" I question.
He nods.
"But I'm your best friend, am I not?"
"You are more." He replies as I sit on the floor in front of him.
"Then why? Why till now?"
"'Cause..."
"'Cause what, Matt?"
"I was scared Summer." He leans back on the chair.
"I was scared, so scared." His voice whispers, his hands run down his face.
"Me? Were you scared of me? Of what I would think of you?" I ask in disbelief.
"I'm your best friend, Matt. How could you be scared of me? I could have lost you, Matt! How could you think that an accident would change the way I think or even look at about you?"
He brings me up from the floor, sits me on his lap and wrap his arms around me.
"But I can't help it, I was terrified. I'm the reason and cause of Austin's death, Summer." He looks in to my eyes as I do into his brown hazels.
"It.won't.change.a.damn.thing.about.how.I.feel.about.you." I speak out as he hugs me tight, "An accident."
:::
"You in a mood for cookies?" Matt asks out of the blue with a hoarse voice facing me. He is trying to lighten the mood.
"Are you?" I ask back raising a brow. We have been sitting like this for quite some time. Neither of us uttered a word, we just stayed in each others arm.
"I'm always if you are." He just knows how to melt my heart even at the darkest moments.
"Okay, let me get a jacket." I'm sure some sweets will at least make him bit better, it does to everyone.
"No, we are gonna make one actually."
I shake my head to which he so weakly chuckles. I get off his lap, he heads for the door as I just stand there looking at him with soft eyes. He comes and drags me the stair.
I halt as we reach the kitchen, "Matt."
He doesn't say a word but tugs me to his body wrapping those muscular arms around me. He whispers, "I'm sorry."
He shelters his head in the crook of my neck, his warm breath sending shivers along my spine as it hits my delicate flesh.
"I'm sorry too. I want you to know it's not your fault, it was an accident." I whisper to his ear. In response he moves his head deeper into my neck.
"You're here." Matt's lips brush against my skin igniting the fire within me.
"I will always be here." I retort, my hands going through his smooth silky locks, soothing and massaging the back of his head. I feel him let out a deep breath as I continue what I'm doing. Matt comes out of his spot, presses a lingering kiss on my hair, his hands still on my waist. His tender lips stay put on my hair slight longer sending tingles all over my body.
He moves back a little, "Let's start the dough, shall we?" He offers me a beautiful smile but not quite reaching their fullest as they always do. Once again making way to the kitchen dragging me along.
:::
We put the cookies in the oven and now we were sitting on the couch playing 'Chain reaction'.
"Please don't. Please," I plead knowing he would finish me off.
"No way, I ain't washing those bowls and dirty dishes." Matt says, he taps on his blue ball and they distribute along every corner taking and changing my pink ones. All of them.
"Agh!" I sign.
"C'mon on, man. You always win." I whine non-stop, I smack his arm. Matt laughs ruffling my hair.
"It happens." Is all he says as I try to swat his hands.
After some more games and tv the timer rings out.
"That's our cue." He gets up from beside me and he takes the cookies out. The smell of the delicious goodness engulfs my nose making my mouth water. I get up as well and go to the kitchen. The cookies look perfect and super good to eat. I grab one from the tray but to only quickly drop it.
They are stupidly hot.
"Careful, their hot." Matt warns me last minute with that stupid sexy smirk on his face.
"Ah, gee thanks." I retort sarcastically. He let's out a throaty chuckle.
"Come on, leave them to cool and go wash the dishes." I sign once again, lowering my head I go to the sink.
After washing all the messed up bowls and tools that we used, which Matt also helped with, we ate the cookies watching a movie until Cole showed up. Matt bid us good night, pecked my temple and went home. Just like old times.
Good night, Matt.