When Mathis woke up, the first thing he saw was his white pillowcase. With that weird dream and the memory of choking rushing back, he didn't dare stand up yet. Instead, Mathis closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. It was just a dream after all. Maria should have found him passed out in the room and called 911 or something. He's not dead. And that was just a dream… everything was alright now.
Suddenly a soft clanking sound came from his side, like someone was placing a bowl on a tray. Relief washed down his body and with a sleepy voice, Mathis spoke. "Maria, I…"
He turned around to face his dear housemaid, but the moment he did, not only it wasn't Maria the one holding the tray, but even the room wasn't his old small bedroom. The words stuck in his throat and Mathis was forced to swallow them down.
In front of him, Nadia had frozen in spot, her grip on the tray tightened. She hadn't expected Yue Zian to wake up so soon and his voice startled her, catching her off guard. "The Second Son said that you should depart as soon as you wake up." Nadia didn't wait for Yue Zian to say anything and headed to leave the room as fast as possible.
"Wait." Yue Zian's voice echoed through the room. Nadia didn't dare move a muscle. Her heart was racing madly. "Don't leave yet please."
If she hadn't turned around and see it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have believed it. But right now, in front of her, Yue Zian was sitting up on his bed, his face buried in his hands, his shoulders shaking… he was crying. Yue Zian was crying. Nadia's face paled. But that shouldn't be…
And truly, he was crying. Seeing that he hadn't waken up, Mathis wasn't so sure if he was dreaming anymore, or better say he was pretty sure this wasn't a dream. He had died. Deep down in his heart he knew that. His life as Mathis Bauer had ended because of a grape. All of his books… the stories he will never be able to write… the book he had just started… Maria, Blake… he will never see them again. If earlier his heart got overwhelmed by all sorts of feelings, all he could feel now was regret and sadness. He should have done more… meet more people, made more friends… he should have fallen in love, written more, read more, go out more, have more fun… Yet now all these thoughts were useless and nothing could be done, for it was to late. And that's what caused him sadness.
Yet he was alive… somehow…
He wasn't sure what was going on anymore. That he had died, he was sure of it. Mathis could almost feel that grape choking him to death in his throat. However he was breathing and aware of being as alive as he can be, but he was Yue Zian.
The possibility that he might not have completely died, but probably be in coma did cross his mind, yet Mathis didn't dare to hope. He knew very well that if that hope resulted in nothing but just being that, hope and nothing more, he wouldn't be able to bare the disappointment. As a result he pushed that thought far in the back of his head, not completely dismissed because he refused to let go of it completely. However, nothing explained his situation at the moment. Was he really Yue Zian? Does that mean that he will have to live like him until…
All color drained from his face and Mathis couldn't just sit on the bed anymore. He jumped of his bed so suddenly, Nadia, who had been staring at him with her heart beating so fast it wouldn't be much of a surprise if it leaped out of her chest, jumped back terrified and a small yelp came from her before she could stop it. Ashamed and scared, she covered her mouth and didn't dare look at Yue Zian. On the other hand, the man was acting strange again, just like in the morning, only that this time he looked even more looney.
Pacing around the room, Yue Zian was pulling out his long black hair, messing them with his hands to the point it remained up, dangled in a frightening mess. His pale face was washed up in tears, eyes reddened because of the crying, making him look even more like a lunatic, almost psychotic. He failed to notice that his upper body was completely bare, making Nadia's stare on the ground intensify as if she looked at him, Yue Zian would slaughter her on sight.
By now, Mathis had came to some realizations which were the reason behind all of his panicking. Firstly, he was stuck here with no way out. He had no idea how one could enter his book, let alone get out of it. There was nothing that could explain how he came into this world and with no such clues in sight, he might as well just give up right now from getting out of here and return to his own life. Mathis just died and woke up in here. That's all he knew. He didn't even dare try to die again in hope of waking up as himself.
Which brought him to the second realization. Being stuck in his book, meant that he will have to live in it from now on or at least until he magically wakes up in his room as magically as he wake up in THIS room. This wasn't that bad, right? He knew everything about the book for he was the one who wrote everything that there is to know about it. The only problem is that this story isn't a fairy tales and cheesy romance. It is gory, it has wars and death and gruesome tortures… Judging by the look of it, with the previous conversation he had with Lucien they're somewhere near the one-third of the book. By now already a lot has happened. Lucien has already kidnapped his brother and locked him up far away in some shabby shack with just two block-head knights guarding him who don't even know he's the First Son. The whole Zicia clan has gotten wiped out and Yue Zian himself was the one who lead the army and killed almost half of the clan himself, which also made him overuse his powers and black out for a few days. Lucien has imprisoned the survivors, keeping it a secret from everyone and the tortures and experiments have already begun on those poor people, with the main character, Axyl and his love interest, Ni Yin being among them.
It wasn't too big of a deal writing all these, describing in detail how people of the Zicia clan died in front of Axyl's eyes, the gruesome deaths described in details. Other writers have written worse scenes that have left the readers' mind permanently scarred with horrifying images. However, the tables have turned. Mathis isn't just looking from above anymore. He has been pushed inside the chaos he made and left to deal with it, already been ordered to murder someone. What wasn't a big deal while writing, now is his new life.
And that brings him to the most crucial part. This is his life, at least for now. There's no Mathis Bauer in this world, only Yue Zian. And he is this Yue Zian, which should have been fine by him even if he had a few loose screws in the head. The problem is that, this psychopath of a man he is now, DIES HALFWAY THROUGH THE BOOK.
"I will die." Yue Zian snickered to himself, finding it both funny and depressing how ironic his fate was. "He will kill me." He laughed and threw his hands in the air while shrugging. Nadia, peeked with the corners of her eyes at him, not knowing what to do with herself if he suddenly decided to take it out all on her. What he had said had made her blood run cold, not wanting to hear anymore, to know more. "I WILL GET MURDERED BY MY OWN CHARACTER, THAT MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT THE FUCK!" The more he talked, the faster he walked, the harder Yue Zian pulled on his hair. "STABBED THROUGH THE HEART AND LEFT TO ROT IN THE MUD WITH THE WORMS."
The sudden noise of a tray falling on the floor and a china bowl breaking into pieces echoed through the room. Only then did Yue Zian remember that Nadia was still there. As he locked eyes with the girl who was shaking like a leaf in autumn from fear, to the point she couldn't even hold the tray anymore, something downed on him and a loud gasp came from him.
Nadia wasn't much of a character to begin with or to be more specific, there aren't many scenes of her. However those little scenes, according to Mathis Bauer, were all it was needed for her to win the hearts of the readers. Besides being described as timid, a gentle soul and brave, there isn't too much about her. The only reason Mathis loved and held this character as dear was because it reminded him of Maria when she just started work. She would be too shy to speak or say anything and would jump up at the slightest noise. Yet after a month, she got used with the house and Mathis and her also became friends. Remembering her, Yue Zian's heart sunk.
Despite all this, like all the other characters in Mathis Bauer's books that all had a purpose, Nadia was introduced for a reason as well. In the Keogon Clan there were quite a lot of people from the other clans, most of them being minorities blending with the common people of the Keogon Clan among other minorities, while a few chosen ones were given to the Clan Leader by the Grimsbane Clan to serve him in his palace as a gift for his birthday. Nadia was from this clan, the clan gifted with wings and for this reason among others, Lucien uses her to throw the blame of his father's death, making this into his excuse to put the Grimsbane Clan in a tight spot. To either take the blame and compensate the Clan Leader's death or face the wrath of Keogon's sword like Zicia did. Needless to say that Nadia gets killed among all these things.
But looking at her, knowing what will happen, Yue Zian couldn't just accept it. He couldn't just let this woman die. Would a father leave his child behind in the face of danger? For the love of God, he can't let himself die just like that. Something must be done. In hell with the plot of the damned book… Yue Zain yelled in frustration. By the look of it, knowing what will happen is one of the biggest advantages he has and if he decides to drastically change the flow of events, God knows what will happen by the end of the book. He can't just act impulsively. There are a lot of things he has to take into consideration. A lot of things must happen for the ending to be just like he wrote it or the outcome might not be as pleasant, but he can't just let himself die. And he wants to save Nadia as well…
Yelling again to release some of the frustration that was driving him mad, Yue Zian dropped himself on the floor, his pitch black hair spread around him and some fell on his face. He blew at the stands in front of his eyes and crossed his arms annoyed.
"The Second Son said to… said to…" Nadia was trembling so badly she couldn't speak, the corner of her eyes wetting, but there was no need for her to finish that sentence. Upon remembering what she was about to say, another wave of frustration washed over all his body and he yelled once more before laying himself on the ground.
"If all these weren't enough, I also have to kill poor Scias too." Yue Zian thought to himself. "What should I do…. What should I do…"
"He said you… you have to…" Nadia was still struggling to finish talking.
Yue Zian sighed and glued his eyes to the ceiling. With a soft voice, careful to be gentle and don't scare even more the poor woman, he spoke. "I know, Nadia. Thanks for reminding me." Yue Zian sat up and looked at her with a gentle smile. "Don't stay over there standing like that. You can sit down."
Nadia hesitated. For a few long minutes she stared at Yue Zian trying to figure out if he was joking around or if he was serious. On the other hand, Yue Zian was being patient, the smile never dropping from his lips. He knew she was terrified of him because of all he had done in his past so her fear couldn't be helped. Seeing that Yue Zian was still waiting for her to sit, Nadia finally decided to walk to the fireplace and awkwardly sit on the foot stool, her back straight, her hands resting on her lap and eyes glued to the floor in front of her feet. Her wings were laid down behind her back looking like a somewhat cape. The People of Sky, as the people from Grimsbane are also called, that serve inside the palace were not allowed to open their wings, forced to keep them down, let alone use them. It was a bit more different with the minorities blended with the people of Keogon. Even though flying wasn't exactly banned, it wasn't exactly liked either, that's the reason why these minorities usually lived near the borders of Keogon's territory, out in the fields or near forests.
"I'm sorry if I scared you." Yue Zian apologized and stood up. Nadia didn't say anything.
Only then did he realize that his upper body was bare. Blushing as red as the face of a nun being teased, he rushed to his bed where his tunic laid. "Maybe that's why she refused to look at me." Yue Zian thought to himself. As he extended his hand to grab the black tunic, he noticed his forearms. They were quite the mess, scars and tattoos. As his eyes glimpsed over them he didn't know how to feel. A sense of fear created a lump in his throat and he felt like choking on it. His hand went to touch the ink on his skin but froze in the air, unable to go farther. "I will have to deal with this too." Mathis puffed as he thought. "So much to deal with… why the hell did I have to make everything so complicated?" His hands ran through his hair to untangle the mess he had made up there. While trying to make himself look somewhat decent he thought some more. There has to be a way out of this hell of a mess.
"You said the sword was fixed, right?"
Nadia didn't look at him, but just nodded.
"Hmm." Yue Zian hummed and started rubbing his chin. "This is like rewriting the whole plot from the beginning." He thought to himself frustrated and began to pace around the room again, but just couldn't concentrate. Giving Nadia a quick glance, he sighed and spoke. "If it's not too much of a bother, do you mind if you listen to my prattle?"
Nadia's eyes looked up at him in confusion and surprise. Not being sure what to say, just like before, she stared at Yue Zian for a while before finally hesitantly nodding.
A smile spread on Yue Zian's face and he walked to her. "The things I'm about to say are a bit important, so I would be very grateful if you didn't tell anyone about this or otherwise it might end bad for both of us. Do you understand?"
Nadia nodded.
"Do you promise to don't tell anyone?"
She nodded again.
"Pinky promise?" Yue Zian chuckled and extended his pinky at her. Nadia backed away in confusion looking at him as if he had officially lost his mind. What the hell is this man talking about? Does… does he want to cut my pinky finger?!!!
Yue Zian chuckled again and gently grabbed her pinky, trying to ignore how her hand shook beneath his touch. Intertwining their pinkies, Yue Zian offered her a sincere smile. "Now it's sealed. You can't tell anyone about this."
Mathis had a habit of thinking at loud whenever he tried to come up with his plot, whenever he tried to find a solution for something that had happened in the book. No matter what his original ideas were, as he wrote, the characters would often take things under their control and do as they wished. Before he could notice it, Mathis would have found himself stuck in a situation he didn't know how to solve. Every time this happened, he would follow Maria around the house, helping her with the chores while thinking at loud, asking her question that she didn't even bother to answer for Mathis answered them himself in an instant. And that's what he needed to do right now. He had to think of every possible outcome for every change he was about to do, but the thoughts were too messy to be kept inside his head. He had to sort them out as he spoke.
"Things are pretty messed up if you look it from this point of view." Yue Zian began to talk not paying much attention to Nadia anymore. "Every step must be thought very carefully but the more changes I make the more it's likely the end won't be good. It's not important only to live through this, but also to give Axyl his happy ending in order to keep the peace after the war. Some things must happen so the happy ending will happen, but what can I change then?"
Yue Zian glanced Nadia and rubbed his chin some more. "I not only have to change my death but also keep you alive." No matter how he thought about it, no matter how many things he took into consideration, Yue Zian refused to leave Nadia die, be it because she was the first of his characters that he met and he didn't quite want to let go of her because of this, or because he called himself her father and if he left her behind he would be ashamed of himself. Even though her death isn't for nothing, he knew that Lucien would definitely find a reason to blame Grimsbane anyway. They're too deep into the book now and it's already too late to try and stop the wars that will come. Killing Lucien won't do because there is no person who could do it. Yue Zian is the only person closest to him with the best opportunity, but he didn't have the heart to do it. Besides killing Lucien would either end up with him getting arrested for killing the Second Son and spend his all life behind bars or even worse, immediate execution.
"First things first, I have to leave the palace today… which means that the first change will be this. But it's still hard to sort which things I must let happen." A heavy sight left his chest and he stared at Nadia lost in thoughts, not noticing how weirded out she had became from his rant. "If only I knew for certain every outcome…" Suddenly his face lit up. "That's it!"
Yue Zian walked to his bed and grabbed the cloak, throwing it over his shoulder while wearing the boots. "Can you please bring me the swo- I mean, my sword?"
Finally hearing something she could understand, and finding an excuse to leave the room even for a few minutes, Nadia violently nodded her head and ran outside the room. While he waited for her to come back, Yue Zian used that time to put on his sash and with much difficulty, the bracers. By the time he was done, Nadia came back, carrying a sword sheathed in a black scabbard.
Not waiting for her to hand it over, Yue Zian grabbed the scabbard first from Nadia's hands and put it on his sash. His eyes wandered around the room, thinking of what else he had forgotten, when he suddenly remembered.
"Can you find me something to tie my hair with? I don't know where the ribbon is."
Ever since in the morning, Nadia had been looking at Yue Zian with wide eyes feeling uneasy, and it didn't seem like she would stop doing such a thing for a while. This was quite reasonable, yet it still made Yue Zian quite uncomfortable. He watched her nodding and then leaving the room once again only to come back with a long red ribbon on her hand.
Mathis had hair somewhat long and was used to tie it up in a short tail, but tying this long ass hair, and with a ribbon at that, was in a whole different level. It took several tries and still, he couldn't succeed on tying anything up. The ribbon would slip down the moment he thought he was done. At some point Yue Zian thought of leaving his hair down, but he knew it would get in the way, cutting it was out of question for several reasons, so the only thing left to do was to turn to Nadia and smile innocently. Trying to sound as casual as he could, he asked her. "Can you tie my hair up, please?"
The woman almost gasped in shock. She had long since sporting a dumbfounded expression on her face and the air she inhaled seemed to be as confused as she was, because it went down the wrong pipe, causing a fit of coughs. Once she calmed down, Nadia hesitantly took the ribbon on her hand and stared at Yue Zian.
Yue Zian was taller when compared to Nadia, a head taller to be more precise. In order for her to fix his hair, Yue Zian sat on the ground with his legs crossed and waited. At first, Nadia wasn't doing anything, but look at the back of his head as if she was deep in thoughts. Then after a long minute she snapped out of it and grabbed a hair brush from the bedside table. She kneeled behind Yue Zian and, with still trembling hands Nadia combed his hair. Her fingers were light and gentle, as if scared that she would hurt him even the slightest.
Yue Zian could feel her hands shaking and sighed. "Poor girl, is completely terrified of me." He thought, but by the time Nadia was done tying his hair in a pony tail, he had remembered something and his expression grew serious.
Nadia stood up and took a few steps back, the hairbrush still on her hand. She looked at Yue Zian standing in front of her. Wearing all black clothes, hair tied up in a pony tail, sword sheathed at his side, a serious expression on his face. It almost looked like he had gone back to his old self, but the words he said begged to differ.
"I want you to come with me."