Surely Kim will come if Allie will tell him that I was stuck inside the comfort room, if and only if he is not mad at me. But I am not hoping that he will. I decided to go out.
For the last time, I make some touches on my face to look normal and make sure that my eyes won't look swollen.
"Chin up Clei. Walk as if you're not affected." I said, cheering my own self. I push my chin up and smile at the big mirror in front of the toilet cubicle's door. I peek outside first to see if students are coming. Luckily there's no one so I hurriedly going out and use the back and bring myself out of the campus.
Students were already in their classes which is perfect timing to stop by at the infirmary. To avoid any possible circumstances in my classes, I make up to a plan asking the head nurse to let me go home at the moment because I feel sick. My ears get red and it feels like I was burning inside.
When the head nurse checks my temperature, the result is 36.8 degrees Celcius. I'm relieved because she gave me permits and signed the NOA (notice of absence) which she will be giving to my teachers.
"Ms. Sebastian, will you please stay here for a while? I asked someone to get your things," she said in a nice comforting voice.
"Mrs. Rai. Uhmm..." I slowly lowered my head after saying. I want to volunteer myself for getting my stuff but something pops up in my mind. Kim's classroom is just 3 doors apart from mine. For sure, I will be seeing both Caroline and him. So I decided to just agree with Mrs. Rai. I nodded and thanked her. She smiles at me.
I open my phone again. I was torn between reading some comments and defending myself to those hateful comments. These are some of the comments I read before closing the phone.
"DAMN GIRL!"-Jale227c
"Who's that girl? I haven't seen her yet."-kk01
"I pity this bitch."-China8_1
"Is that Caroline? I feel sad for her. This girl wanna die earlier."-Vixxxx
"Clei back off! Kim will never defend you! Pathetic!"-Creepyour1
"Why slapped Caroline's pretty face? ><"-Eva Gaile C.
"Bitch, why the hell you slapped Caroline?"-Katekay Bill
"She's not even as pretty as Caroline tho."-Jamie Hallway
"Exactly! Do you think you're pretty enough to slap her?"-Sam-K15
"She really has that confidence, huh?"- Choi Gyuri
"Girl, your face is as thick as the wall."-11_45
"Wait up, where did she get the guts to slap her?-Josh Hallett
"I know her. She's Kim's best friend right? I think she has feelings for Kim too? Hmm... Bitch die!"-Zemby Aloe
"Clei looks pathetic, duh!"-Katekay Bill
These are some of the comments filled with spiteful words. Filled with craziness, madness, and hatred.
While waiting for my things, I lie down on the white cozy bed, the second bed in front of the infirmary's couch, for a while. Looking at the clean ceiling, wondering about things that are happening.
"I looked like a dumb." I murmured to myself that was followed by a scoff. I was about to turn left when I saw a guy's black shoes under the curtain hem. It was as if I was pulled to stand up from lying. I cleared my throat to get his attention and let him speak first.
"Ms. Sebastian, am I right?" as expected he speaks first and assured that it was me in this bed section. Somehow, his voice does seem familiar.
"Uhmm... Yes... but, may ask who's talking... if you don't mind at all?" I answered and asked him in a doubtful response.
"This is Miguel Lake. I... I brought your stuff," he responded in a shy tone, trying to avoid stammering but ended up stammered. That's why his voice is somehow familiar to me, he's our class president but he rarely talks in the class.
Well... Miguel doesn't seem to be an introvert, but he will just let us hear his monotone voice if he will be asked to announce something but mostly, he will just give us a copy of the notices and written form announcements.
He is a quiet, quite serious type of person. He is part of the volleyball team and well known as the spiker of the team.
"Uhmm... Will you just... Uhmm... please put it on the chair?" I asked him hesitantly. But I felt more comfortable when said something.
"Actually, I was told to escort you," he said in a flat voice.
"Is it fine with you? I can handle myself." I resist.
"It's fine with me. Can we go now?" he asked me again which make me brush my hair up to the end of my hair's strands using my fingers. I narrow my eyes and try to pick the edge side of the curtain when he surprises me.
He flips the curtain's edge first and it makes me move my body a bit toward him. He sturdy holds me in both shoulders to stay still where I am standing.
"I'm fine" I immediately responded to get off his hand over my shoulder.
"Oh, sorry," he responded with a blank expression.
I tried to get my things on his left hand but transferred it to the right. What made me shock the most is when he holds my hand. I quickly let go of his hand but he insisted.
"It's not what you're thinking of," he said coldly.
"Yes, of course. Why would I?" I pretend to chuckle a bit with hesitations.
"If I will not hold your hand, you will possibly stumble upon, and that will be my responsibility." his explanation.
"But, I am fine," what I said is the way of getting through the situation.
"Though you are not?" he responded again. I stayed in silence until we reached the last step downstairs.
"Don't be surprised by Caroline's show. Get used to it, now that you are her new target." I take a glance at him, we had an eye to eye contact. We stopped for a while and I suddenly looked down.
"So, obviously you saw it too," I said sadly.
"Uh-huh, but I feel something is wrong." his response makes me breathe easier, and wonders what's wrong.
"Can I ask you one thing?" I asked him comfortably.
"Hmmm...?" a signal from him which means he is letting me ask.
"Is it wrong for me to defend myself?" a direct question from me.
"If self-defense is the topic, then nothing is wrong with that. You did the right thing, Clei," he answered straightly. By the way, it was his first time to say my name. I was a bit relieved after his answer but, at the same time, I can't deny the fact that I am still guilty.
I continue to step down. When I am about to, I slipped away. Luckily, Miguel was holding my hand and manage to pull me back but it turns out that he's in out of balance. I fell on him and we fell together. My head was on Miguel's chest while my both hands were wrapped around his body.
"Clei!" I heard Kim's voice yelling. It's too late for me to look around to find where he is. He lifts my head and helps me to stand up.
"Kim" a sudden response of me after seeing his face. I am trying to avoid him looking at my face because I know that he's aware of what happened. He is aware that I was hated by most of the students. I push him back to let go of his hands.
"Uhmm... I can handle myself. Sorry, Miguel for wasting your time. I have to go first." I wave my right hand, a sign for me to go.
"No, I was ordered to do this. Let's go." Miguel insisted to take me with him. He holds my hand tightly and pulled me to continue walking. I take a look at Kim and I saw him staring at Miguel with a fire look.
I let myself to be pulled by Miguel and take a walk without looking back at Kim
"Clei, how are-" he holds my left hand to stop me from walking but I wasn't bothered and continued walking.
"I am fine, Kim. But I guess Caroline is not." I cut him off from talking without looking at him.
"But how about you?" he said then tries to get my bag slang on my right shoulder.
"I told you, I am fine, Kim. Stop worrying about me, start worrying to Caroline." I stopped walking and look at his eyes with a fire look. I pulled my bag from his hand and begins to take some steps forward.
"I have to make sure that you're fine." his response after what I have said. He made me stopped again and I look at him for the last time.
"If you really want me to be fine, then stop acting like you only cared about me, Kim." I raised my voice for the first time in front of him in a serious situation.
Even though I was shocked by what I just did, I still tried to stay mad at him to avoid any misunderstandings because I saw some students were passing by. For the sake of the issue to quickly die, I have to avoid Kim as much as possible, in the meantime.
"I just want-" many times, I keep on cutting him off and didn't let him continue what he is saying.
"Please, Kim!... I don't need you. Will you just let me go without bothering me?" I said in a cold and disgusted voice. I looked at him with a pretty mad look. It made him stop for a while and I started to speak again.
"Will you choose to be with me over Caroline if I will allow you to have a word with me... in front of them?" I calmed myself before speaking, referring to the students that were passing by. He stayed in silence for a few minutes and it disappoints me.
"Then, I will take that silence as no, an answer to my question. I know, maybe Caroline needs you more. She's your girlfriend and I am just your best friend, after all. I don't want to be the reason for your misunderstandings and quarrels anymore. I hope you will understand what I am trying to say." I said calmly. I continue walking away from Kim. Finally, I can't see his shadow following me.
I go straight ahead to the gate and finally left the school's premises. The car service of mine was under maintenance today so I have to take a cab to go home.
Meanwhile,
A cab stops in front of me. I slowly open its door and hop in already. I give him my address he asked for.
I take a heavy breath and my head slowly dropped then suddenly saw my bag that was unzipped, as expected I closed it without checking if some things were missing. I am too lazy to remember what's inside of my bag and check it one by one.
I only get my earphones and plug it in my ears. I slowly close my eyes and makes myself forget everything forcibly, but it only makes my head hurt.
The thing that keeps on bothering me right now is, how can I say to Kim that those were not my intentions? Even though I know the fact that he is an understanding person, but it doesn't also change the fact that I had been mean to him.
Saying "I don't need you" in front of Kim is such a mistake. He's been playing as one of the biggest parts of my life since he came in. He's been part of my life, and I guess he will always be.