***
This was the first time that the two of them were alone.
Odeletta tried to steady her trembling heart and walked as gracefully as possible towards the Crown Prince.
It was clear what she had to do first, but she was so nervous that she had to give it a moment of thought.
"Greetings to the Little Sun of the Empire. Glory to your future."
"Welcome, Lady Odeletta. Please sit here."
"Thank you for the invitation, Your Royal Highness."
Technically, it was more like a meeting with a prospective marriage partner rather than an invitation, but neither of them brought it up directly.
After a while, crackers with caviar and parsley were served as appetizers, followed by clam chowder and baguettes. Without a word, Odeletta and Xavier began to eat the food, and it was natural for the silence to flow over the meal.
The problem was that the silence lasted until the roasted herring and pomegranate sherbet came out.
Judging that the ensuing silence was never good for the atmosphere, Xavier continuously tried to think of what to say, but he did not come up with a suitable topic. In the end, he decided to start with the basics out of desperation.
"Is there any particular food that you're picky about?" he asked.
"Pardon?" Odeletta said. She looked blinked at Xavier, confused that he was suddenly talking to her after the long silence. She soon gathered her senses and answered.
"Ah, no, Your Royal Highness. There's nothing I can't eat or am picky about."
"That's a relief. Suddenly I was worried if there was anything like that."
He smiled with relief and Odeletta, who was watching him closely, felt her heart beating hard. She felt like she was in a dream at this very moment. Was this really a dream? She couldn't believe she was eating alone with someone she liked!
"Is there anything you're picky about, Your Royal Highness?" she asked back in an attempt at conversation.
"Nothing."
"Then, any foods that you like?"
"I like everything…" Xavier thought about it for a moment and soon gave a calm smile. "Recently, I enjoy eating desserts."
"You like desserts."
Unfortunately, Odeletta was not too fond of desserts. But if Xavier liked them, she thought that she should start eating a little more of it from today. Just as she was about to broach another topic, she was interrupted.
"Lady Odeletta," Xavier said.
It was when the chamberlain laid lamb steak on the table. The smell of the dish stimulated Odeletta's nose and she answered automatically.
"Yes, Your Royal Highness."
"I have something to confess to you," Xavier continued.
"Confess?"
"Actually…"
Xavier held his breath for a few seconds and then opened his mouth. Odeletta, who was watching him, was half-worried and half-excited about what would come out.
"I didn't come to this seat today on my own accord."
The voice that passed through her ears was obviously sweet, but the meaning was less so.
At Xavier's words, Odeletta's heart thumped again. Unlike before, it was a negative feeling.
"What do you mean?" she asked, not understanding his words.
"I'm saying this is not what I wanted. There was an order from His Majesty the Emperor to meet you."
"Why are you…telling me that now?"
"I just wanted to be clear with you," Xavier said honestly, biting his lips.
He knew how cruel he was now. At this moment, he was a scumbag to Odeletta, a man who only hurt her feelings. But he could not give false kindness to her.
In the end, the one who was hurt was not in his seat, but in the seat across him. Before the wound deepened, he had to draw a line. That was a good thing for each other and it was a consideration for Odeletta.
Xavier opened his mouth in a quivering voice. "The Emperor wants me to marry you."
Anyone else would have been happy to hear those words, but strangely enough, Odeletta was not happy at all. The shock of what he had said earlier must have been too great.
Odeletta held her breath and asked again. "Then?"
"My apologies, Lady Odeletta." Xavier apologized to Odeletta with the saddest eyes. "I already have someone in my heart."
"…"
Odeletta was rendered speechless after hearing that. She stared at Xavier with a disbelieving look. She could not tell if what she heard was true or not.
No, she understood it in her head, but it couldn't get it to her heart. She didn't want to believe that it wasn't her who was in the heart of the man she liked.
Odeletta's eyes trembled and he looked at her, feeling guiltier than ever. Only long after that Odeletta was able to ask questions.
"Who…is she?"
But she already knew the answer to that question. However, she did not want to take it as a fact until it came out of Xavier's mouth itself.
"She is someone that you know," he said.
"Your Royal Highness."
"Maristella Janice La Bellafleur."
A forbidden name left the mouth of the man she liked.
Odeletta's eyes trembled greater than before. It was a name that she had guessed, but when she heard it herself, the shock nearly knocked her off-kilter.
Odeletta's shocked expression further darkened Xavier's face. He didn't want to face Odeletta, but even so, he couldn't string her along and deceive her. That was even worse.
"I have her in my heart, Lady Odeletta."
It would have been easier on Odeletta if the other woman was Dorothea. She could at least comfort herself with the fact that if a man was attracted to a personality like Dorothea's, she could look for a better partner instead.
But it was a different story if it was with Maristella. She was a wonderful young woman that Odeletta could not help but like. It wasn't strange that the Crown Prince liked Maristella as well.
But that was the problem. Odeletta couldn't believe that a man she had feelings for liked her friend instead.
Odeletta's expression twisted in anguish. This was a cruel trick by fate, but her voice surprisingly came out calmer than she expected.
"Why are you telling me this, Your Highness?"
"I heard that you have feelings for me."
"…"
"I did not want to act with false intentions towards you. Then I would truly be deserving of punishment."
"Rather…"
Why did he just keep hiding it? So many words clogged up to her throat, but they wouldn't leave her mouth.
Instead of ending the conversation, Odeletta bit her lips tightly to block any words that threatened to leak out. From a rational perspective, Xavier's behavior was moral. Odeletta would have acted the same if she were in his situation. This was the kindest consideration one could give to a person they weren't attracted to.
Odeletta understood this cognitively, but her heart could not accept this simple truth. Tired as she was of his fake love, she wanted his fake smile, and even his fake heart. That was why she could be so ridiculous as to resent Xavier's kindness, which was crushing her heart by giving her the truth.
Odeletta solemnly stared at Xavier before she spoke. "Maristella…"
"…"
"Does she know what you have feelings for her?"
"Unfortunately, Lady Bellafleur doesn't know a thing about my heart. If she did, she would not have arranged for you to meet with me."
Odeletta was devastated. In the end, the purpose of this meeting was for him to tell her this cruel truth. And she would have to deal with it by herself. If she told this to Maristella, Maristella may end up distancing herself, feeling guilt over something she didn't do.
'I can't do that.'
Maristella was a dear friend that she didn't want to lose.
'But…'
She didn't want to give up Xavier either.
Odeletta sat there silently with a troubled expression on her face, while Xavier patiently waited across from her for her response. It was a long while before she opened her mouth again.
"…His Imperial Majesty wants you to marry," she said.
"Yes," Xavier replied with a nod of his head.
Odeletta stared at him silently before speaking again. "If so, then His Majesty will still push you to marry. You are still his son."
"…I know."
"Your Highness," Odeletta said, this time with a look of determination. "Use me."
"What does that mean, Lady Odeletta?"
"What I just said, Your Highness. I said you should use me," she said calmly. "Please give me an opportunity too."
Upon hearing her words, Xavier's expression changed to one of regret.
The emotions Odeletta felt at the sight was more sorrow than humiliation. She knew, too. Contrary to Xavier's seemingly cold exterior, inside he was warmer than anyone else. He would rather die than hurt others, and even though he was in a position of power, he never looked down on people. Of course he would be sad. He saw himself as unable to give up on his feelings.
"Give me a chance to win your heart," Odeletta said.