I counted the cement steps as I walked up to my new high school. Each step made my legs feel heavier and heavier, dreading starting another new school.
In the four years of high school, Freedom high would be my third and hopefully my last school to attend.
Freedom high, I laughed when my mother had told me the name. If we could ever actually have freedom in high school. The school is small and old fashion. The outside resembles an old school with bricks around the foundation and an old bell up top. I doubted the bell actually still rang.
I opened the front glass door of my new high school and immediate chaos surrounded me. I sighed as some stared. This school was small enough that students would notice if there was a new face.
I tried to smile, which was more of a grimace, and headed down the first hall where I was instructed the principal's office would be. First hall and to the left.
I knocked on the door to the office and heard voices coming from inside. I hoped no one had been sent to the principal's office already this morning.
The door opened revealing a tall boy with dimples and brown eyes. His eyes were not brown like mine. My eyes were light brown like a hazelnut, and his were a deep dark brown. He took a big step back allowing me to walk in farther which revealed the principal. She was mid height and skinny with slight curves. She was very pretty with her dark brown hair. "Hello, Ms. Connors?" The principal said. I was not sure if it was a question or a fact.
"Hi" I offered politely. I could see the boy from the corner of my eye staring at me. I wondered who he was and why he was in here.
"Welcome to Freedom high" the principal said with a smile from behind her desk. "I'm Mrs. Gill." She went on to explain a little history about Freedom high that was not interesting.
I looked with the corner of my eye at the teenage boy still eyeing me. I shifted uncomfortably. I thought about how I looked at the moment. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a crewneck sweatshirt that I had had since my freshman year of high school. I have not grew since middle school. I was short only stood at five foot. I could have passed as a fourteen year old because I did not have much curves either. The principal finished and handed me a packet with the emblem of Freedom high on it.
"Your locker and class schedule is all in here" she said with a smile.
I took the folder and tried smiling back, but instead I looked at the boy who was still staring at me. He stared back and raised an eyebrow at me. I mentally rolled my eyes and turned back to the principal. "Thank you," I said, clutching the folder to my chest.
"You're very welcome," Mrs. Gill said and added, "and welcome to Freedom High."
I started for the closed door that would go back into the hallway, but before I could leave, Mrs. Gill spoke up again. "Mr. Matthews, could you please show Ms. Connors to her first class." I glanced back at him to see his reaction. He was about to interject, but Mrs. Gill raised her hand "and I will get you the field times and the uniforms."
"Thank you," the 'Mr. Matthews' said.
Both me and the Matthews boy left the principal's office in silence. He did not offer an introduction to himself and started down the hall. "What's your first class?" he asked me. I caught up to him and walked beside him. Trying to keep the same pace. It was harder for me to keep up with him because I only stood at 5 foot.
"A&P Biology" I said, frowning at my own schedule. I was not sure why I was in A&P biology. My grades have been impacted greatly from transferring in and out of schools. Also I wasn't the smartest student nor did I try very hard. I was banking on scholarships from sports more than my grades.
The Matthews boy just shook his head up and down. "So why Freedom?" He asked.
I paused confused at his question and then remembered the name of the school.
"We, my family, just moved here" I replied as he said 'hey' to several people passing us by. It was a small school, but I got the feeling Matthews was popular. Everyone who said 'hi' to Matthews looked at me for a second.
"So where are you from?" He asked, slapping another guy's hand and adding "sup man."
I noticed his dimples again. Cute. I thought back to the question, and knew he was just being polite, but I did not want to explain my whole life story of constantly moving. I just said "Virginia." My family have moved six different times. My dad, Captain Connors of the Charleston Naval Air Force. We moved often and usually every two or three years. But that Is not an uncommon thing for a military child to live this lifestyle.
"Nice," he said and added "library, cafeteria" he pointed toward both doors. The cafeteria, probably the biggest part of the school.
He stopped in front of me and turned around to stare down at me. My heart picked up and I mentally cursed at myself. His eyes stared into mine, he raised one eyebrow again like he did in Mrs. Gill's office.
"This is A&P" he said and I looked over to see that he stopped because we were in my first class. My cheeks flushed red.
"Thank-" I said looking away, but before I could finish he waved to one of his friends.
"Victoria" he said and added one word before saying "new."
I turned around to see the girl. She had auburn hair with piercing bright green eyes. She came walking over and as she was walking over she said "bye."
I turned back around toward Matthews and he was gone. "Thanks," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. He apparently could not get away fast enough.
"I'm Victoria" the auburn headed girl said with a white smile.
"Samantha," I replied to her.
"Come on, you can share my lap station."
Throughout class we were paired up with partners. I luckily had Victoria. Victoria was smart and she helped me with every step. After class she even helped me find my locker. Victoria was amazing.
Closing my locker I turned to finally get my first good look at Victoria. I had noticed her bright green eyes first and her auburn hair, but I must have looked awful compared to her. Her dark auburn hair was down, flowing around her shoulders and cascading down her back. She wore a short-sleeved dress that reached her thighs, with the addition of dark leggings.
Then there was me. Samantha Connors, the yet again 'new girl'. I looked down at myself, taking in my choice of jeans and a crew neck sweatshirt that I have had since freshman year. My dark brown hair didn't cascade in waves down my back, it was just frizzy. My brown eyes were free of makeup while Victoria seemed to had a talent in creating a natural looking smoky eye, accenting her green ones.
Victoria asked if I wanted to join her and her friends at lunch. I of course could not turn her down. When I arrived at the table the introductions were made. The tall blonde male who sat at her right introduced himself as Jason Price–her boyfriend. Sat on her left was April Jennings, who coincidentally sat a couple seats in front of mine in English.
April's tone was just as she looked–happy and kind. In the two minutes I had known her I realized she was truly a blonde, literally and figuratively. "What are your hobbies?"
"Well I love sports, I'm hoping to join the softball team." I answered her. I had played softball every season since I knew how to swing a bat.
Softball was my life.
Victoria gave me a pitying look before delivering the news, "I'm sorry, Samantha. We don't have a softball team here."
I frowned "do you guys have a baseball team?"
"Yeah, of course" Victoria said smiling. "Speaking of baseball, where's Ryan?" Victoria asked turning toward April.
"He's with the guys" April replied.
"Are they good?" I asked pulling the conversation back to baseball. When I asked was when Victoria's boyfriend piped in.
"Yeah we're good, we won districts last season" he said confidently.
"Nice," I said, nodding "when are tryouts?" I asked. None of them replied and I looked up from my food to find the three of them staring at me.
"What?" Jason asked with a laugh.
"When are tryouts?" I asked again, not smiling anymore.
"We have practice tonight and tomorrow and there are open tryouts that you need to sign up for, but I don't think you should come out" he said not meeting me in the eyes "there's only a couple spots open and I wouldn't waste my time if I were you."
I glared at Jason and said "why you don't think I could make the team?" I challenged him.
He just shrugged. "We're pretty good," he replied implying I was not good.
"I'll be there tonight," I said back. I looked at April and Victoria and they were staring at me. April with her mouth open.
"You're not joking, are you?" Victoria asked with raised eyebrows.
"No, I love softball and I at least want to try," I said with a shrug. I saw Jason roll his eyes.
"I just never seen a girl play" Victoria said "but I'm super excited and bet you'll do great!"
"And our friend Ryan is the team captain and I bet you'll like him, he's great," April said happily.
"What time are tryouts babe?"
"Six" Jason said, not looking at anything other than his food.
I looked at Jason who challenged my stare back "I'll see you guys later than."
The moment the school day ended I went to the office to sign up for the baseball tryouts. Truthfully–I've never actually played baseball with only boys. I've played with co-ed girls and boys when I was younger, but that was only until I was old enough to start softball. Before I left that school. I penciled in my name onto the sheet of paper as Sam Connors. I was going to play baseball.
• • •
I walked out to the baseball field along with April and Victoria. I was filled with excitement to get back out on the field:
"Good luck," April said as she and Victoria sat down on the bleachers. The field was not as nice as I have played in before. It had two wood dugouts and two sets of bleachers, for the home team and one for the away.
"Thank guys," I replied, flashing them both a smile.
As their backs retreated towards the stands I was forced to face reality and made my way to the line that was already forming.
I laid my baseball bag on the ground and stood in line with the rest of the boys who were trying out. Some of them gave me weird looks as I approached, but I just continued to watch the others who were currently trying out. Most others didn't even notice me.
I could not see him, but I could hear him. It was a male's voice coming from the front of the line. My assumption of him being in charge of the baseball tryouts was confirmed when he yelled out my name.
"Next!" He called out and added, "Sam Connors!"
I stepped out of the line of guys and felt everyone's eyes fall on me. I got very self conscious about myself in this moment. I put one foot in front of another into the grass and approached the guy who had called my name. I took a deep breath and when I saw him my breath hitched. He was tall, probably 6'1 or 6'2. He had the same dimples and brown eyes from earlier. It was the Matthews boy.
Upon another look at him I noticed things that I could confirm from earlier. His confidence stance, his cocky attitude as he was telling everyone what to do. He finally looked up from his clipboard and his chocolate brown eyes fell on me.
"Hey," he said with a smirk, "new girl" he said with a wink.
"Sam Connors!" He yelled out again waiting for someone to approach. He turned back toward me and said "sorry, but the cheerleading tryouts are in the gym," He said and that ignited the fire in me.
"Excuse me?" I asked which caught his attention.
"Princess, I would love to stay and talk, but I have tryouts to run," he said, completely turning away from me and turning toward his friend to show him the clipboard.
"I'm not here for the cheerleading tryouts!" I said crossing my arms.
"Well girls are suppose to watch from the stands." He did not look at me this time, but when he spoke you could hear the irritation in his voice.
"Sam Connors, last call and you're being skipped!" He yelled, shaking his head almost to say why sign up if you're not going to come.
I was the one irritated now. "Uh hello!" I yelled getting his attention and several others. "I'm Sam Connors, douche bag!" I snapped at him and some of the guys standing behind us on the grass started to snicker.
"You're Sam Connors?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow up.
"Yes, like Samantha Connors" I said, gaining confidence. I moved my hands to my hips.
"Well sorry princess, but this is a guy's team only," His words held a tone of finality in them as he looked away and to the group of guys. "Next! Jacob Cannon" he said turning away from me again.
"Whoa, what about me?" I said stepping back in front of him. My hands going to my side.
"You're a girl. Like I said, we're a guy's only team," he placed his gaze back on his clipboard, never on me. He must have found this amusing because at the end of his statement he was chuckling slightly and shaking his head.
I-on the other hand-wasn't so amused.
"I don't care," I said and crossed my arms tightly.
"Well I don't either," he said gently pushing me away with one hand, "goodbye."
I batted his hand away when it made contact with my arm, "Where's the coach?"
His chuckling stopped when he realized I was not kidding and was not going to leave. "Not here, you have to talk to me."
"And you are?" I demanded, placing my hands back on my hips.
"I'm the team captain." He said, finally looking at me with a cocky smirk that he started off with. This was who April was talking about earlier at lunch.
"I want to talk to the coach," I said, holding back the urge to punch that smirk off his face.
"You're a girl, you're not playing on my baseball team" The team captain argued back.
"What are you?" You could hear the ice in my voice, "A sexist?" I ignored the group of guys who 'ooooh'ed the accusation, keeping my focus on the team captain.
He clenched his jaw and turned to me again, finally taking me seriously. He looked pissed. "I have tryouts to run, and you need to leave" he said slowly so I could hear each word.
"Not until I see the coach." I snapped stubbornly.
"You know what? Whatever. I'll go get him, princess." he said, turning his back as he finished and walked away.
I stood there scowling, angry beyond belief. I tried ignoring the guys behind me checking me out. I kept my arms crossed so they wouldn't shake. Now that the team captain wasn't there I was starting to let down my guard. I felt my insecurities creep back with all the guys around me.
The team captain came back minutes later with a mid-forties man, possibly a little older than my parents. "All right, what can I do for you?" I assumed the one asking was the baseball coach.
"I want to try out," I said, clenching my jaw and ignoring the captain who was glaring at me. If looks could kill.
"Well...." The coach trailed off, trying to find words to not upset me, "this is a guy only team." He finally let out, rubbing the back of his neck.
"No, it's a baseball team for guys, but that doesn't mean a girl can't play," I said, pointing out the facts. When he didn't answer I kept going, "Look in the rule book. I bet there isn't one rule in there saying girls can't play on this baseball team." I spat out, unknowingly clenching both my hands into fists. I took a deep breath, relaxing my hands.
"All right, all right," The coach said, trying to get me to calm down, "you're right, you have every right to try out."
The team captain reared back at this conclusion, "What!?"
"Ryan–quiet!"
"But–"
"Stop." The coach said, silencing Ryan. "Let her try out," The Coach walked away after making his final statement, going back to the old wooden dugout.
I smirked at the captain, Ryan Matthews, when we made eye contact. I put my softball glove on and walked back over to him. "Let's go," Ryan growled at me as he clenched his teeth together tight.
He walked over to the pitcher's mound as I waited at the batter's plate. Ryan didn't hesitate before instantly throwing the baseball at me- it caught me totally off guard and hit the fence behind me. I got into position and got ready for his next throw. Ryan threw the baseball at me with speed. I caught it with ease, though I was surprised with the strength of his arm.
I threw it back as fast as I could, to show him that he wasn't the only person with a good arm. He threw it back to me in an instant. When the hall hit my glove it sent pain up my hand. I came up with the conclusion that he was a pitcher, because he had an excellent arm and his accuracy was astonishing.
Ryan smirked as he saw me grit my teeth in slight pain. He threw the ball to me two more times, and he wasn't taking it easy on me.
"Pop flies" he said as if this was a boring lecture in PE. I missed the first pop fly and swore at myself. I have never been that good at outfield. I caught the next three and got all of the ground balls that were sent my way, not letting one slip past me.
"Okay," he said, sounding bored, "now run around the field."
I was still trying to catch my breath, he wasn't letting up for giving me any sort of break. I ran around the field once and made my way back over to him. My lungs ached a little as I neared, "Now what?" I asked, catching my breath. I tried steadying my breathing.
He barely paid me any mind and just walked over to a netted area where there was a pitching machine yards away. It was a good thing there was a pitching machine because if there wasn't, I'm pretty sure the team captain would throw as hard as possible at me. I would take the anger and speed of the machine over him, any day.
I lined up in front of the net and gave Ryan a nodd, signaling that I was ready–apparently I wasn't. I missed the first ball. As I took a breather getting ready the next I saw that the coach was now watching me too. More importantly–watching me miss. When I missed the second ball, there were several snickers from a couple of the guys who stood watching. I took a deep breath, counting my heart beats as I watched Ryan drop the ball into the pitching machine. I swung. The ball went flying from where it hit on my bat and hit the back of the net, landing on the ground next to where Ryan stood.
I hit the next four balls and smiled directly at Ryan. He sent a scowl my way. "All right, you're done."
I walked past all of the guys as I made my way off the field, not caring what they were saying about me. As I near the stands Victoria and April caught up to me.
"That was amazing!" Victoria screeched at me, her eyes glowing from her excitement.
April looked amazed too. "I can't believe you did that."
"I can't either," I said, taking a deep breath, calming the nerves I felt. I had excitement running through my veins as I talked to Victoria and April.
"You're right," Victoria said, "you are great at baseball."
I shot her a thankful smile for the encouragement.
"Do you think you'll make it on the team?" April asked as we walked toward the parking lot of the field.
"I think if they are fair, I'll be on the team. But, with that Ryan Matthews guy, I'm not sure."
What if I don't make the team because I'm a girl?
"What if you don't make the team?" April asked, reading my mind.
"Then it better be for a good reason," I said, "and if the only reason I'm not on that team is because I'm a girl?" I said, shaking my head once.
"What are you going to do then?" April asked.
It was simple. "I'm going to make the team no matter what."