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Gradation of The Sense (My L)

🇮🇩Firdas2208
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Synopsis
My poems were the first I wrote. Track record of how I became a writer. About love, sincerity, ignorance of what people say; the most important thing is my world is calm. Starting from the meeting stage, loving secretly, until the stage of letting go, now (me and my feelings) are immortal in poetry. || Temporary hiatus, currently composing poetry into a story.
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Chapter 1 - Prologue, (You) are Lasting

Exactly today, 12 August 2020, at 18:39 after evening prayer, I sat back in front of the laptop to write how I am good at writing. It's been a year since my university graduation that day, I rarely have any news from her. Just call her L, she is a close friend in the world of college. To be honest, I've liked her since we sat in the same vocational school. But because at that moment I realized that I was far from the word 'proper', I moved away from her. What we went through was just greeting each other.

I was born from a simple family. So for my size, she's too fancy.

It was 2014, when I graduated from vocational school, because I had no money to continue studying, I decided to work for one year. Architecture and Interior are the fields of work that I worked on for that one year, while making up my mind that I should get my bachelor's degree next year.

Time flies..

One year passed, I enrolled myself in a private university which is quite a favorite in Jakarta. As if God wanted to show His power with human destiny, L, my classmate during vocational school, had enrolled in the same university. I realized it when I was looking at who my friends were, maybe, maybe someone I knew?

Then one night when we were sitting together at the end of 2016, she told me that the man she loved had let her down. I could not hold the love in my chest, then that very night I decided to make her happy.

However, I also didn't have enough courage to tie up. Apart from being committed to not dating, at that time I also realized that there were many things I had to fight for. Especially for both parents and family, I still couldn't afford to make them happy.

How could I love her, while I was busy with the ambitions and aspirations that I have to grasp?

How can I be completely happy, when my family can't even make me happy?

From there, I managed to become a writer. Being someone who is good enough at playing with words. Because in front of her, I can't talk much about sense.

Incarnate love in the form of literary works.

About three thousand poems were written for her. In the personal notes I have, not only complete with the poetry number sequence, but also the date and moment (photo) when I wrote each of the poems. The personal notes are also perfect down to the minutes and hours.

I typed this prologue in August 2020, more or less 4 years have passed since the incident. I thought, maybe it's time for the world to know about my love for her.

One other thing that I now realize is, L is Lasting. In my poetry that never dies.