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Chapter 5 - A Little Girl; All Alone

Atelier has a bad feeling when she reached home that day.

She sees a middle-aged man outside her house, talking with dramatic gestures. He seems to be conversing through the door with someone inside, and of course, the only possible person is Mother. She hopes it isn't something serious.

The last thing she hears the man say is something along the lines of "think about it", and it makes her wonder. He sees her when he turns to leave, and gives her a weird smile, like he knows something she doesn't. Atelier isn't sure if she wants to know what he is thinking. She simply looks away and hurries indoors.

Mother is sitting at the table, hunched over a mug. Her hands cover her face, and she doesn't notice Atelier coming in.

"Mama?"

Though soft, her voice startles the old lady. "Oh! Atelier, sweetie. You're home early."

She isn't really, but Mother doesn't seem to be paying attention to the time. She looks like her mind is somewhere else. Atelier glances into the living room and notices the absence of the children. Usually, Mother brings them home from school when she gets off work. "Is everything okay?"

Mother raises her head and smiles. It looks forced. "Yes. Yes, of course."

"And the kids...?"

"Oh! Oh, dear. I forgot to pick them up! My schedule is all out of whack after... Well –" she sighs, rubbing her temples. "There wasn't much work at the factory today. So a few of us – most of us – were sent home early."

Atelier nods. While less work means less pay, and that certainly justifies Mother's worry, she can't help feeling there's something else too. Something to do with the weird man outside earlier. "I saw someone leave when I was walking home. Who is he?"

"Oh. That man." Mother purses her lips. "That's Jerry. Jerry Hammond. He came to ask about you."

"Me?" It certainly piques her interest. Atelier pulls out a chair and sits down to listen. "He knows me?"

"Well, dear, yes," Mother says. For a moment, she looks like she doesn't want to continue, but she knows Atelier would press on, so she sighs again. "He was the one who brought you in."

It doesn't surprise Atelier to hear that she was "brought in". She already knew she isn't related to Mother by blood. None of the children in the family is. They were all orphaned, and at some point, discarded on the streets and left to fend for themselves. It was Karen Rosche – the woman they fondly call Mama – who took pity on them and took to herself to raise them like her own children.

What does surprise her, is the fact that she was brought to Mother by someone else – this man named Jerry. She has always assumed Mother found her after her parents abandoned her because they couldn't afford to feed another mouth, like most parents in Morheim. Or worse, she sometimes wondered if they died to illness. The latter unfortunately sounds more comforting.

Perhaps Jerry knew her parents, or what happened to them, anyway. She decides that she wants to know too.

"How did he find me, did he say?" Atelier asks, eagerly.

"You were in his farm. He knew something was wrong when you were trembling and wouldn't respond to him at all. A little girl, all alone; it wasn't right. He brought you to me because we had known each other for a while and he thought I would know what to do."

"I don't remember any of that."

Mother smiles at her gently. "I wouldn't blame you, sweetie. You were terrified, scared stiff. We figured you'd gone through something awful. Your clothes reeked of smoke."

/Smoke?/ A chill runs down her spine. Atelier feels a wave of cold sweat wash over her as the images – fragments of her nightmares – flood her mind yet again, feeding the growing pain in the back of her head. She sees a little girl; running, laughing. /She was laughing!/ But the laughter turns into screams, and then –

"Atelier? Darling, you look pale. Are you alright?"

Mother's concerned voice brings her back to reality. She releases her death grip on the edge of the chair and takes big breaths to steady her heartbeat.

"I'm... I'm alright. I'm alright." Maybe if she says it enough she would successfully convince herself.

Mother reaches for her hand. It feels warm. "It's my fault. I must have triggered some bad memories. I'm sorry, dear."

"No, it's really fine, mama. I must know. Someday, I'd finally remember again." Mother has nothing to apologise for. None. Atelier places her other hand over the old lady's and finds it in her to smile. "I owe you my life."

"Don't say that, Atelier. You know I'm glad to have raised you. You have brought me so much joy – you, Kenton, Melanie, Jason and Lucy. I don't regret taking in any of you. And you, darling, have grown into such a wonderful young lady."

"All thanks to you." And possibly, Jerry. Which reminds her – "So, why was Jerry here earlier? He didn't just come to ask how I was doing, did he?"

Mother's expression hardens. She hesitates before speaking again. "No. He… wanted to know if you were already... affianced."

For a brief moment, Jungkook's face pops into her mind. She immediately feels silly and blushes. "Why would he ask that? I'm still in school!"

"Yes, he heard you're graduating soon."

"That doesn't mean I'm looking to get married." Not to someone she doesn't know! Especially not to a flaky middle-aged man, even if he did save her life somehow.

"He hopes for you to marry his son, not him, if that makes it better. He does have his own farm, you know..." Mother says, then bursts into a hearty laugh when she sees Atelier's perplexed expression. "I'm just teasing, dear. You know I wouldn't agree to it. I know you have your own aspirations. And you should. Let them take you away from this place."

Of course Atelier wants to leave Morheim. But she won't leave her family behind. They have to come with her. She just has to work harder to make it work for all of them. Surely it isn't completely impossible, no matter what Soo Young says.

"I will give you a better life, ma," Atelier says. "I promise."

"Don't worry about me, but thank you, dear. You're a big girl now, and – oh! I almost forgot!" Atelier watches as Mother nearly jumps off her seat. She grabs a small box off the counter top and places it in front of Atelier. "Go on, open it!"

Atelier does so, pulling the ribbon off. Inside the box is the prettiest cupcake she has ever seen, not that she has seen a lot. It has pink icing and looks like a rose in full bloom. She can't help but let out a gasp. "Wow. This is –"

"Happy birthday, Atelier," Mother says with a proud smile. She sticks a candle into the middle of the cupcake and lights it with a match. "I haven't given you much for your birthdays these ten years, but for your 18th, you deserve something special. A treat. Don't tell your siblings!"

Atelier suddenly wants to cry. Maybe the world has been cruel to her, but it certainly makes up for it by giving her the best parent one could ever ask for. She throws her arms around Mother and plants a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you, mama."

Mother pats her back. "Welcome, dear. Now, make a wish and blow out the candle!"

The doorbell rings, and Atelier releases her hug so Mother can go see who it is. She picks up the cupcake and smiles like a child. What should she wish for?

After thinking for a while, she puts the cake down, closes her eyes and whispers with her palms clasped. "If you're out there, if you hear this – show me my path. Guide me, and tell me what to do."

She has no idea who she meant it for. Maybe there /is/ a God, or maybe there isn't. Maybe it was for the wish-granting fairy. Or maybe it was for her birth parents, whom she misses sometimes. Regardless, she hopes her wish is heard. She opens her eyes, leans in, and blows gently at the flickering flame.

The fire that seems so tiny and harmless just a moment ago now roars with a sudden ferocity. Atelier gasps, wide-eyed. The bright orange flame twirls in the air and devours the candle in a matter of seconds and melts the beautifully piped icing.

/What the hell?/

"Atelier, Shiozu's here!"

"Oh, uh, I'll be there in a second!" By the time she turns back, the flame is gone, as suddenly as it grew, leaving Atelier with her shock, and a half-destroyed cupcake.