I sat in a plump next to my bed, running over everything that had happened. For the life of me, I couldn't calm the whirlwind of emotions that blew its way through me. Misha had a way of making you feel humiliated and somehow aroused at the same time. I grumbled to myself, various curses at him. Seeing him like that…..It rung my proverbial bell. The truth is, I HAD forgotten what a fearsome individual he could be and how I was inexplicably at his mercy. I felt like a rag doll for him to tear apart and put back together at his leisure. All he has to do is sweep some of his blood over me and good as new. Tears welled up in my eyes. That didn't mean it didn't hurt me, that I wasn't scared every time he did it. I knew it wasn't right but even so, it also awakened a desire in me, the need to be at his mercy. I obviously have an illness of the mind but dear God, the way he looks at me, the fierce beauty of him…. I felt so many different emotions for him, complicated ones. I knew he treated me poorly, I knew he treated people like me, poorly. However I have seen his kindness, the way his weary eyes reveal his unhappiness, the way he cared for me, even though he had no cause to. I knew he could change, I just had to find a way to connect with him in a way he could understand. To fully see me as a person, a human, and how much our species mirror one another. I had so much I wanted to do. But…. How can I do any of that now? Misha has a wife to be, it'll be his duty to look to her for comfort, not me. I fear that she'll only bring out his vampire, not the confines of that tender heart he has hidden away. I wipe a tear from my eye angrily and sniffle. I loved Misha but the things he says, the things he had done to me. It's difficult to overlook that. He sees me as lesser life form, a bothersome pet, ignorant and pathetic. It's difficult to be passionate about helping someone who sees you that way but here I am, still thinking of him. Misha was all I had left. All these years together, surviving, I knew that it was him that kept me alive but I liked to believe that I helped him in some small way too. In all that time spent, I thought he would come to see me as his equal, his friend, his confidant. I knew not to hope for love on his part but I couldn't resist what my heart felt, I loved him. I shook my head, confused. I sought to put an end to the tyranny under the King and Queen. I wanted to be some hero for my people, maybe figure out some way to free us. To free Misha and Pasha. I thought I alone could do it but how? I see that I've been distracted, hoping, seeking some kind of connection from Misha. I had to stop chasing him and focus on a way to help all of us, not just me. I needed to be stronger, to rely on myself to make things right. I prayed silently that I could find a way to get rid of everyone, to liberate Misha, Pasha, My People and myself from his Hell. "O' Lord, please give me a sign, or some guidance. Please. Amen."
MISHA
I wrestled with my conscience on the way to Anya's chambers. I was ready to burst after I left Osha. My vampyr hadn't been himself lately. I can feel him lashing me within, begging for her. It is our nature to want to hunt, we thrive on it. Seeing Osha's state when I lost it, however exhilarating it was, also caused me a certain sense of guilt. Not once have I felt this tortured over a human before. It was unnatural to me. Something I cannot explain lurks deep under the surface. When she's around, all I seem to want to do is hurt or pleasure her. We need to find a release, which is exactly why Anya will do. I barged through her door making her jump. Her expression showed she needed no explanation. I could sense a hint of pride in her. She believes I couldn't resist her earlier offer. I almost roll my eyes at her arrogance. She removed her gown in her quick vampyr speed, splaying herself across the bed, spreading herself for me. "I've been waiting for you all night." She smirked. In my annoyance, I reach for her before she has a chance to speak. I push her face into the bed, unleashing myself from my trousers. She giggles in excitement. Oh I doubt you'll enjoy this. I slam into her, giving her no time to register me, I pump myself in and out. I hear her muffled voice trying to say something. Shut up and let me enjoy this. I take her arms and pin them behind her back, I pound into her repeatedly to the point to where I feel her pelvis break. She cries out, thrashing her arms about. "Come on Anya, you're a vampyr, I thought you could take me." I taunted. Flashes of Osha beneath me, her blood all over me pop into my mind. Fuck. I use my other hand and snatch up Anya by her throat crushing her windpipe, my nails digging into her flesh. She was furious. Her head reared back before I had time to fully register what she was doin. Wham. She slammed the back of her head into my face. "You…. Fucker…." She hissed. "My turn." She was on me, her nails digging into my chest. She climbed onto me, and slid back on me , groaning. She started to pick up pace, I flipped her to where she was on her back. "Not a chance." We continued to spar and fuck, until I felt more manageable. Nothing could compare to being with Osha though. Nothing quite sates my thirst. I don't know what I'm going to do. I haven't felt this out of control in a long time…
OSHA
The following morning I roused myself with a dash of cold water. After patting my face dry, feeling rather refreshed by that and my sleep, I dressed in my usual plain gray attire. I plaited my hair in a thick strand and tossed it over my shoulder. I was to meet Gertie early this morning. I scurried off to kitchen reminding myself with each step, the resolutions I made the night before. Gertie was in an unusual frenzy, darting from one side of the kitchen to the other. She held a quill between her inked fingers, scrawling on a piece of parchment. "Gertie? Are you alright?" Her eyes flew up to me, her worried expression quickly shifting to that of relief. "Oh thank heavens your here." She motioned for me to approach her. " I was informed to prepare for a massive banquet in two days time." She paused. "We're to celebrate the betrothal of the Prince." I felt Gertie's eyes searching me, she knew what that meant for me. Slightly embarrassed as I was, I found myself looking at the floor, pondering what to say next. It was as if my mind came to a halt, no thought, no sound, just silence. A brief pause of time that seemed to hold just for me. My ears seem to burn with urge to hear again, a whoosh sucked my back to my present. "Dear?" I felt the warmth of Gertie's hand upon my should, her face full of worry. I shook my head, "Goodness, I'm sorry I was in such a daze!" I laughed it off, trying to assuage her. "So, what all must we accomplish?" I closed in the space between us, peering at the list in her hand. Gertie, still looking concerned shifted back into work mode.
Gertie told me I had to go into town to purchase some fine wine and cheeses. We usually didn't have human guests but with an event such as this one is required to bring their own human. We could only supply a certain amount due to the inceasing numbers of uprising between the Vampyr factions. Human trade was the most lucrative department of sale in their world. The Duke of Evanscheist, formally held the that position. It was no secret among court that there was a rather large dispute over coinage. The King being as he was apparently cheated the Duke about half of his profits. The Duke knowing full well the King could afford such was grossly offended. A whisper of discontent from a few disgruntled families with titles was all it took. A full on coup began, leading us right to where we are now.
The cart wiggled back and forth, the wood groaning in protest under each turn. I was accompanied with by Ollie and another human. I was thankful and relieved for Ollie's presence. We were both wary of the other man. He held the reigns to horse in front of him, not bothered with worry if we'd escape. He was considered a traitor to his kind, hired as a shepard over his human flock. He helped the Vampyrs keep track of us should we get out of line, he had permission to subdue us in any way possible. He's even get a large bonus providing such a necessary task. I couldn't care less though, I was too busy soaking up the outside. The sky alone, so blue and beautiful, the clouds swirling around in large puff, like cream. The air in my lungs felt intoxicating, it differed from the stale irony smell of the castle. It was so fresh and earthy, I could've made myself drunk of it I'm quite certain. The lush pastures of green that lead up to the village almost glowed under the sun's yellow haze. The wind flowing through the grass made the land billow like a sheet being settled onto a bed. How I wished I could just run through and roll in it.
An abrupt stop disrupted me from moment in paradise. "Come on." The Shepard gruffed, both Ollie and I climbing down from the cart. I couldn't tell you how but I felt the burn of Ollie's eyes on me, he shuffled closer quietly as to not alert The Shepard in front of us. We entered the market, there were so many stalls and little places decorated. Seas of food, linens, and treasures, I've never seen anything of the sort. I couldn't help but gape at the wonders this place held. "Let's escape." Ollie's words filled my ears breaking me from my gawking. His nervous eyes skittering over The Shepard back. My stomach dropped. To us humans, it was common knowledge there were human spies in town. In exchange for a monthly sum, they'd procure someone for the Pits and should the situation arise, return anyone who dares to escape from the castle. It by far foolish to even attempt escape, especially in or near the village. "Ollie…" I breathed, grabbing his hand. "No, you know there are-" "I don't care." He interjected, his eyes held a seriousness to them that frightened me. "Don't you want to escape Osha? Come with me?" His eye darted to The Shepard once more. He squeezed my hand. Before I could speak the Shepard turned to us. "Alright take your list in there and get everything you need." He directed at me. "You," He pointed at Ollie. "Will help carry everything, I'll be damned if I have to fucking break my back for nothin." It took everything I had not to roll my eyes at him. Ollie and I entered the store, I theld many shelves with bottles and among the room lay crates with wheels of cheese. It was a simple looking shop but the rich colors of the wood gave it certain warmth and appeal. "May I help you?" An old man appearing to be in his older years approached the counter, leaning on the surface. "Ah, yes." I scurried to the counter, slipping him the paper. "My my, we have good taste!" He beamed. " I shyly smiled back at him. It was a nice change of pace to be smiled at, to be treated with respect, to be seen. I studied the man as he made his way throughout the shop, gathering this and that and loading them into crates. I felt so out of place and awkward. Normally I'd be doing the manual labor like the old man. I didn't particularly like just standing there especially when there is a person my senior, working hard whilst I stand there. "Sir? I called, causing the man to come to halt. "Yes miss?"
"Please let me help, this is a very substantial order and I'd like to be of assistance." My concerned expression made him laugh heartily. "Oh Miss I can't have that." Just at that time Ollie came up beside me. "I'll help him Osha. He's right." The man was about to interject but Ollie's expression left no room for argument. This was a different side to Ollie that I've never seen.
I watched, awkwardly might I add, as two of them filled the order to it's completion. It was such an order that the poor men had no room left for the effort of light conversation as they worked. I feared Ollie and I would be in for it once we had load these on the cart. My back ached at the thought. We thanked the man for his service and dumped the heavy sack of coins on his counter. He looked as if he was about to say something but Ollie ran out to signal The Shepard to bring the cart round. Now the hard part.
We had loaded the cart after an hour. My back felt like it had broken in half and my body just didn't know it yet. I was out of breath and slick with sweat, struggling to huff air out and gulp it back in at the same time. My throat was burning and parched, this was what death was I'm sure of it. I was almost to brink of crying when the old man from the shop came out glaring at The Shepard and offered us an old wine skin . "Goodness you two! Didn't you bring more help than this?" He chastised. "Here boy." He pressed it to Ollie's lips. He drank a few gulps and handed me wine skin. The water was so refreshing it took all I had to gulp the whole thing down. I quickly shoved it to Ollie insisting he finish it. "You just did… double the work I did." I huffed. He thanked me quietly before gulping down the rest, water dribbling from his chin. The old man held his hand out to me to help me from the ground, when he did, I felt him shove something in my hand. Our eyes locked and he ever so slightly shook his head. Not now.
Ollie roused himself and returned the flask to the man. "Thank you so much sir." He breathed. The old man smiled, his eyes warm and light again. "Anytime you two."