My hand felt frozen in place, tucked into the crook of my father's elbow as he led me down the aisle. I didn't care if I tripped, fainted, made a fool out of myself— I would have, if I'd actually consented to this marriage, if I actually loved the man who stood less than a couple of meters away, the man I am to marry.
I numbly took his hand when he reached out, and gazed intently at both of my hands encased in his.
"... do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
The buzzing in my ears was all I heard after that and then his lips were on mine for a brief moment, then I was guided around to face the church full of guests. They were laughing, crying, smiling, applauding, offering their congratulations, or condolences, I wouldn't know. I wasn't hearing anything. I wasn't part of my body anymore. I was just another third party.
__
The reception was bigger than what I'd preferred. Grander, but I wasn't surprised, it's what our parents wanted; a nice big spectacle to showcase the happy, goo eyed couple. And I couldn't let my dad down so I smiled.
Harry had his arm around my waist the whole time. He'd stare down at me like I was the only woman in the room, place kisses on the crown of my head, display the best performance. And he was quite the expert at it, he was so good, I actually began to feel the tingles in my toes and the fluttering in my stomach every time he bent to whisper sweet things in my ear. I told myself it was his charm, his overly good looks that captured the attention of every female in sight, married or single, ignoring the part of me that told me it was something else entirely.
"Now that you've finally decided to get your act together and score yourself a beautiful wife, it's time you finally give me some grandchildren," I choked on my glass of champagne.
Harry chuckled, pressing me to his side, "Mother, you haven't seen us off on our honeymoon yet and you're already demanding children," my face warmed at the mention of honeymoons and babies. God, I just turned twenty two and I'm married and my mother- in-law expected her son to impregnate me by the time we're back from our trip. I gulp.
"Lisbeth dear, I want grandkids to spoil, mini Harrys and mini you's running about the house, you'd bless our family with babies won't you? Soon?" My mother in law gloved my hands in hers, they felt warm. I didn't know how to respond, so I offered her a smile and thought I'd utter something she'd want to hear, just to get her off my back.
"Mom stop harassing my wife and trust that I'd make her round with all our offsprings," he brought his large palm to my stomach and rubbed in delicate circles. My entire body came alive at the touch and I clamped my open mouth shut, speechless.
"Oh that's exactly what I want to hear! You've made me the happiest grammy in the world, I'm so proud of you son," she had to bend him by the neck to place a kiss on his cheek, and I followed after, presenting the fakest smile to please her requests.
After a few more interesting conversations with family members, colleagues, friends, strangers, board members, investors, people I'd never seen before in my entire life— we made our overly dramatic exit.
I didn't say a word until we made it to the hotel, checked into our suite and passed the threshold of the room. I heard the door close and then he was behind me, close enough to feel the heat his body exuded, the smell of him, that cologne I've been drowning in the entire night. The air buzzed, and I shivered with— I wasn't really sure what, but it most definitely wasn't freezing yet.
"You know, I meant what I said to my mother. I intend to put a baby in you." he whispers in my ear, and there goes that shiver again.
"I- I don't want children." there's a crack in my breathy voice, and I wince at the expression of weakness.
"You will." his lips played havoc with the sensitive skin of my neck, licking, kissing, sucking, teasing and taunting my disheveled state.
My body fell under a spell beneath his menacing lips and his craving hands. The sounds coming out of my mouth were alien, and my ivory dress was suddenly a heap at my feet.
I gasped and made a futile attempt at shielding my nearly naked state with my hands, but he was already rounding my quivering body, eyes feasting and hands clenched by his sides.
"You wore this for me?" His fingers pinched the strap of my lacy bra and followed its delicate path to the heaving arc of my left breast.
I couldn't find my voice. My throat had suddenly failed me and my mouth had gone dry.
Greedy fingers traced over the flesh of my chest and disappeared between the line of my cleavage— dark eyes consumed every inch of exposed skin within access.
I was effortlessly tossed onto the king sized bed and he groaned at the movement of my breasts. The predator in him eyed me like a prey, like he was going relish in my taste and salivate over my remains, and I was going to lay there and take it like a good little victim.
The force of his stare had me crawling backwards on all fours. He chuckled when my back met the headboard and pounced. I only had time to shriek before he tugged me forward by my ankles and ripped the slim material of my panties to shreds. When my privates were on full display to him, I responsively closed my legs and he forced them open with a growl.
"This is mine, you're all mine and you're never hiding from me," he leered and turned his head to place a soft kiss on my calf. I sighed and he proceeded to leave a path of nips, licks and kisses up to my inner thigh and I pulled back when he neared the most intimate part of me.
He growled menacingly and curled his arms around my upper thighs to restrain my disobedient limbs.
"What are you doing?" I gasped when I felt his breath on my wetness and squirmed when he deeply inhaled.
"Your pussy is so perfect, so pink, so wet. I bet you'd taste as good as you smell. Don't worry baby, I'm gonna make you feel good," the vulgar words grating out of his mouth had a part of me wanting to crawl into a hole and another part of me wanting to hear more and have him live up to his promises.
And then his mouth was on me and my eyes rolled to the back of my head in delight. My back arched and the most wondrous explosion erupted within my body, breaking past my insecurities and basking in the desperate claws of desire.
"Harry!" I whined when his tongue danced a tango with my folds and my aching clit. His fingers played with my entrance, tongue stringing my nub and hands kneading my breast. My pants grew wild and my my body grew impatient, then he thrusts his fingers into me and I floated to a new high and came apart with a scream.
When my vision cleared and my body sagged, spent— I groggily sat up on my elbows to find Harry licking up the mess between my legs and kiss the path up to my seeking lips.
His mouth slanted over mine and enveloped my lips in a bruising kiss, tongue stroking mine and lips battling for dominance. I surrender to him and lie limp as he meets the skin of my cheeks, my nose, my temples, my forehead, and a parade of warm fluttering breaks out in the pit of my stomach.
My eyes find the evident bulge beneath is slacks and I audibly gulp at the thought of him taking me fully. Making me his in every way.
"What is it?" His thumb strokes the flesh of my cheek.
I clear my throat, battling the swarm of thoughts and conflicts I'm feeling at the thought of telling him, of having to expose the truth.
"Harry I- I need to tell you something," I sit up, breaking the knots in my hair as my fingers comb through the strands.
"What is it sweetheart?" His arm circles my waist and pulls me to his side. Do I really need to tell him? He is my husband, he does have the right to know, but I barely know him. I haven't spoken more than three sentences to him before today so he is more of a stranger to me. A stranger who's seen me naked, a stranger I'd be spending the next couple of years with.
I faced him, knowing what had to be done.
I know my husband is a beautiful specimen, I'm always left breathless every time I look at him and I'm always sinking in dirty jealousy when the I find women around us eyeing him with interest. But at this moment, I find his beauty so raw, so real, carved to perfection under the dim lights and I flush at the thought of him being mine.
"Was it too much for you? I didn't mean to push you," he grimaces, and my heart softens.
I shake my head and meet his seaweed eyes.
"Harry, I- I'm a virgin," I blurt, ripped off the bandaid and sank into the silence that followed.
I watch carefully as his eyes widen and his face pales, his mouth gapes and there's a flash in his darkening eyes. Any hint of disgust or regret are absent on his surprised features.
"Please say something," it comes out a whisper and I lower my gaze, preparing for rejection when the quiet ensues.
"Wow," he says in wonder, a mist I'm his eyes and a soft look on his face.