I grew up to know myself as an alien in this world, with some certain happenings around my life, which gave me a course of concern. It seems as if I think differently and see things from a different dimension and I could not just understand why then, while I was growing as a child, but now I know and understand better.
This book is spirit breathed revealing a journey into great awareness, pointing to the realization of self beyond self-designed ideologies.
There were things that was happening in my life while I was advancing from the cradle that I could not just explain, because it was my days of ignorance, evolving into the more complex world that threw me into chaotic state of thoughts, not knowing exactly what to hinge on as reality. There were things that kept recurring and calling my attention deeper and these things were never letting me be. One of the notable experiences I had that I will never forget, was the experience of recurring convulsion that almost ruined my life.
I was born into a family of 12, occupying the 11th position that is very symbolic in the order of reality. I suffered from the frequent recurring convulsion for 11 years, and somehow was delivered from the oppressions of this tormenting spirit that spurs up convulsion when I was 11 years of age. With a clear voice, I heard in the heart of my heart (ear), saying, "I have not given you the Spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of sound mind." (2Timathy 1: 7), my deliverance was permanently sealed.
After my deliverance, I have to discover that the voice I heard in the heart of my heart was actually the voice of God and He spoke to calm my troubling spirit. Therefore, I have to know it was God because peace was restored to my troubling spirit and He started taking me through series of experiences that kept me asking deep questions, of which the answers were actually what resulted to the depth of my inspiration. The height of my knowledge in life today, even when I have not had the literal experiences with respect to my age points to something Divine.
I started experiencing a recurring time that was always and ever flashing my eyes and never letting me be. Since I discovered my true self in I AM as connected to God's life, I am no longer whom I used to be, paralyzed with the fears of the unknown. This experience kept calling my attention deeper and deeper and I became lost and engulf in depth of inspiration unimaginable. I could not place what this recurrence of event or time was, but I started paying attention to my thoughts.
Whenever I pick up my time, what I will see is time of such pattern 01:01, 02:02, 03:03 ….and 12:12. This got me pondering, sometimes, very provoked, because I was never understanding what it means, but I never knew God was maturing me into mastering the act of paying close attention to my thought. I got used to it somehow, to the point that when I am having a particular thought, and I pick up my time, I will just see a recurring time and I eventually discovered that the time is actually calling my attention to something, but what could this be?
I do not know and I do not have an idea, and it is really thought provoking! I later found out somehow, that my life is a program as programmed by a super intelligent divine programmer with recurring time that was all I concluded, not knowing it spans beyond what I had thought, drawing my attention to finding out, in order to know who this Programmer is.
I started by paying close attention to my thoughts, because it seems as if I was operating as a dual being with something from the inside always communicating, directing me and wanting to coordinate everything about my affairs in life. Sometimes, I used to get so pissed and I would stubbornly try to act in the direction of my own way and when I do, I use to regret why I had, because of the feelings of disappointment for not harkening to that still small voice that will never let me be. I was wondering why something will just keep monitoring my life and wanting me to do the dictate of what is being suggested to me, as if I have not a choice to my own will. If I want to drink water, I will get a direction. If I want to eat, bath or go out, so it just got me feeling as if I am a robot, but the truth is, I can still choose to act contrary to the directions, but the consequences I will have to face alone and regret for not following the direction. I started learning intently to pay close attention to my thoughts and follow the direction of that thing that seem to be coordinating every of my life affair.
Sometimes when I write out my conversation between myself and that alien impulse that is now acting as my thoughts (that person in me that will not let me be), I will be left with just an option to ask who wrote what I had written even as I read what was written down. Reading through the contents reading would always leave me awe struck. I will always come to a point that it is not me and can never be me, because the knowledge of the contents are usually far beyond the confines of my knowledge. These experiences led me to start writing precisely 2007 on the title "The Mystery of True Inspiration". Actually during this period, I was still inexperience and do not even know some certain things about life, but something happened that changed my entire orientation and ushered me into the world of reality. The death of my beloved mum forced me to start learning to become independent, despite I had had that independent mindset from the cradle. I just kept writing and writing, and has never stop writing since then. I was able to write lots of books and songs, of which out of all the books I have written, I am yet to officially start publishing, but the songs, I have had some recorded, but was still directed by this alien thought in me to hold on, even when I wanted to fly to release it. Hmmm! At a point, I got tired and frustrated, because I was always resisting the voice and the voice was never allowing me. It is always the counsel of the voice in my heart that would always stand. I got asking, why would what I wanted not stand? Can I not win for once? Even when I go out of my way to do my mind, I still end up losing and returning back to the voice to apologize, but the amazing thing is that, the voice will still be polite, saying don't worry my son, you will go through and overcome. It called me His son! Ah! How? I thought I knew my parent, so who is this being who is claiming ownership of me? Does my parent know about this?
Somehow, my mum knew there is something unique about me, but she was careful not to tell me things, but her attitude toward me, spoke volume of what she had stored in her hearts about me, that she was only guiding me. Having known that I only came out through her, my mum said, "I am only a steward of God's elect", but I observe from her attitude toward me that she had the knowledge that there was something about me that is beyond her thought. Hmmm! Why me? I got writing and had not had any of my book published since then until now.
There was this faithful day my Dad had a dream, he narrated the dream to me while he woke up from the sleep, feeling very worried and conscience stricken because it was bothering him, and I could literally see it in his look, as I saw in his mind's eyes as dictated my thought when he woke me up to start telling me his dream. After he had narrated his dream to me, the answer to his dream, seem to be what I had long written, so it was stored my heart, so I felt the click, like searching a word on the internet in my heart, and I was prompted to go the a particular chapter of my book to read for him. Therefore, I took the manuscript of my book and read for him as led. For the first time, my Dad was amazed and awe struck that what he heard was actually coming from me. I could remember what he told me. He said, "Even if you won't publish this book, I want you to just publish the page you read for me." We just got talking, and my Dad was saying amazing things to me. He said something very striking, and this was what he said, "I thought I have a son, I never knew I am a son to my son". This was deep, but I got the message, because what I told him, actually did not come from me, it was the second person in me that was speaking. I was growing in knowledge, getting to discover whom I am in the second person in me, and the more distractions and pressure to take my mind off concentrating on the voice of the second person in me. Actually fierce pressures, such that, sometimes the only thing I could do to relieve myself, is to cry profusely and shed those tears, and when I do that, He will still speak to me saying "son, it is necessary, because it will bring you to the right mood to hear me". I never knew this was an act of worship called brokenness of heart. This second person just kept teaching me by talking to me when things happens to me and around me. I got to discover, nothing can work against me, even when it is far from good, it will still end up for my good. I also have to discover that the school I attended was just for formality, the real school is the one of the second person in me that is always teaching me to do what I needed to do. You will not understand this, except you have an idea, or had also experience what I experienced, and am still somehow experiencing.
All through my days in school, the exams I wrote by following the tutelage of this second voice were the best amongst all of the exams I had ever written. Students will go to class to read, I will stay on my bed in the hostel, just to scan through the topics. When I am scanning through, it will seem as if I have had the knowledge before. Even when I try reading, I will end up correcting some certain things, by making a different note. Who am I? This was my question then, when I was still in the University.
God can never let you be when you have His Divine seal, you are not your own, you are His very own, the earlier you know this, the sweeter will life become for you, and the swifter things will answer to you and work in your favor even when it seems working against others. This is why He cannot leave, nor forsake you, because you are His perfect program #Reality reached from my personal experience#.
I was able to find out my purpose with God's help and I immediately discovered the recurring time is God's way of calling my attention to teach me deep things of the spirit. When God calls, I need to pick and when I pick up His call, the right response from me should always be "Here I am", to start up the conversation with Him, not like in our secular world where we answer "Hello".
I will continue this introduction in chapter 10 of this book. I pray the Lord God open the eyes of your understanding to be able to catch the revelation of what I am trying to share with you in Jesus name!