Another day and Tammy's classes are postponed. It's been 800 hours and 30 minutes and when I went downstairs, I saw Tammy writing on a piece of paper and it was a letter for you. Her cute cursive makes me smile as I eat the breakfast she prepares for me.
"How was school yesterday? Sorry, Mommy was not able to ask you about it yesterday... She was really lonely yesterday that she couldn't help but listen to Daddy's recording of Salut d'Amour." I asked her as she continued scribbling on the paper.
"Oh... It was fine... Nothing much happened..." She said, abruptly stopping her scribbling.
"Fine? Are you sure, it did not look fine..." I told her.
"No Mommy, it was not fine! Mommy, am I ugly? Am I annoying? Why don't they want to talk to me?!" Tammy sobbed.
"You are beautiful and you are not annoying... You just express your concern and love in ways they will never understand." I told her as I gave her a hug. I did not know that this was happening inside my daughter's mind. I have been too obsessed with you coming home that I forgot that I have a daughter to take care of... She instead takes care of me.
I couldn't help but sob... I felt so helpless in the time that my daughter needed me. She was so strong for these past years for she understood what was happening to me since apparently, Gavin was telling her everything...
"Do you want me to take you to school tomorrow?" I asked in between my sobs, "There's a parent-teacher meeting tomorrow, right?"
"Thank you... I appreciate it very much if you do..." Those were the only words she could say as of now and I understood completely. This was the first time ever that I saw Tammy so miserable and vulnerable.
It's the morning and already, skies have been grey. It started raining and I'm quite shocked since it's summer and normally during summer, little to no rain pours down the skies.
"Look, Mommy, it's raining... The first time in a while." Tammy tried to smile while she stared outside.
"Want to run in the rain?" I asked her, returning her smile.
She pulled away from my hug then she ran towards the backyard. I followed her cautiously as I watch her play in puddles. The rain was washing our tears away then the front bell rang. I ran towards the front even though rainwater was dripping from my nightgown, I opened the gate slightly to see the mailman with a package for us. Attached to the bottom of the package was an envelope. Was this from you?
I leave the package on the couch then I go back to Tammy, only to see her staring at the wall that you and I painted on. Her eyes widen with shock as I ran faster to her, tripping in the process.
"Mommy!" Tammy turned to me then she approached me. "Did you make this?"
I sat down on the damp grass then sighed, "Yes... Your Daddy and I made that when you were a month old. That was when he promised to be here during your first birthday... The first time he broke a promise..."
"Is that why Mommy fainted last time?" Tammy asked me.
"I guess so..." I sighed.
The rain stopped and the sun shone once more. Tammy pulled me into the house then I took a bath. It was relieving to see my daughter smiling again. I have not gotten a letter from you for a day and you know how crucial it is for me to receive a letter every single day...
After taking a bath, I wore my bathrobe then I went downstairs to open the package but Tammy beat me to it and again, she was crying.
"Mommy, please tell me that Daddy is still alive... Please tell me that everything is alright..." She cried as she held a leather wallet in her hands. A leather wallet that looks so familiar... Nostalgic.
"Where did you get that?" I asked her. I was worried, horrified and dumbfounded.
"Mommy... Please answer me. Is Daddy still alive?" She was trying to contain her sadness.
"I don't know! I don't know... I don't... He has not given a single letter for a day even though I explicitly asked for him to send us a letter every day so you don't have to worry." I fall down on my knees as I just realized how futile was the chance of me seeing you again.
Tammy gave me the leather wallet then she ran upstairs as she continued to sob. I opened the wallet to see a portrait of me in it and I also saw Tammy's picture when she was a newly-born then I continued crying. Inside the wallet was nothing but a folded piece of paper and when I unfolded it, I saw there, written in your penmanship, "I love you..."
I took the package then opened the envelope under it to see another folded piece of paper with the words, "I told you..."
Whatever puzzle you're pulling off Colonel Marc Akio Liwag, you sure are making me think so much that it is stressing me off, you twat.
So, the week is nearing its end, when are you coming home? If not, I will not be surprised... As if this will be the first promise you've broken in my lifetime... I told you to stop making promises you cannot keep. At least I know that you might still be alive with just these two pieces of paper.
You know what, I have not written you a letter yet... I might save my words for tomorrow, what do you think? I might have died of a heart attack and you will never know. Will you think it's funny now that you think of it? Maybe not but it will make me satisfied like your masochistic wife that I am. Or maybe, you know what, when you come home, I'm going to make you pay for the eleven years of absence in my life while I'm in emotional distress, pain, anxiety abyss and etc. I love you.