"If they knew what they said, would go straight to my head, what would they say instead?"
Billie Eilish.
Making my way through the crowd, whilst masking my frown with a smile as if I were a clown. Avoiding all types of confrontation and wanting my life to be planned out like the glowing constellations. Hiding behind my thin web of lies, attempting to muffle all sorts of cries. Watching vibrant clouds drift, hoping that the calmness will allow the guilt lift off my shoulders. It feels like I'm carrying boulders.
I thought that the more I got older, all my decisions would be wiser, all my steps would be lighter.
I thought I'd become strong.
And I couldn't be more wrong.
Excuse my terrible rhymes.
But it seems that we're running out of time.
...
Okay, so let's recap on what's happening in my life so far:
The plus size girl, who is bullied by absolutely EVERYONE, met the perfect boy just over a week ago. Except, he's not so perfect. Why? Because apparently this 'perfect boy' from Dubai has been in a toxic relationship and the only reason why this guy managed to escape was because his Dad got a new job promotion. Oh, did I also forget to mention that the 'perfect boy', also carried trauma from his previous relationship? So, he uses SLITTING HIS WRIST AS A SCAPEGOAT! You're probably wondering how she found this out. Well, the plus size girl decided that since she had an anonymous account, she could befriend this perfect boy on social media, in order to get this information. However, the plan backfired because this girl was stupid enough to push the guy for extra facts. For example, she asked if he liked her. And guess what? The perfect boy blocked her! Now, it's so awkward because he can't stop talking about the 'mysterious person' on Facebook who kept asking personal questions, despite not knowing him at all.
"It was so weird," Wyatt rants. "I mentioned you once in that conversation and then suddenly, the person keeps pestering me about whether I like you or not."
We stumble through the streets, people gathered in large congregations, the end of school marking new arrangements and outings. The greyness of the afternoon portraying sadness. Yet, all I feel is guilt, suffocating me like a rope around my throat.
"Well, you don't like me," I say.
"Yeah, at least not in that way," he confirms.
Cars hastily drive past us on the busy road and the screech of tires creates an ear-piercing sound. Laughter occurs as conversation arises, smiles plastered on every face. Amusement held within every pair of eyes. Silence remains in the air between him and I and I can't help but feel that there are unspoken words on his part as well as mine.
"It's me," I internally scream. "I'm the person you blocked on Facebook. I'm the person who asked you those personal questions."
He appears to be studying me. I mean, Wyatt's so smart (when he isn't cocky). I'm sure that if I give him time, he'll figure it out.
Do I want him to?
No.
Is the situation inevitable?
Yes.
"I just wish people would mind their own damn business," he growls, his jaw clenched.
"I know right," I laugh hysterically, trying the break the ice.
Unfortunately, it fails; he stares at me as if I'm a lunatic. He doesn't think much of it though because he continues.
"So annoying, so unnecessary," he mumbles. "I wouldn't do that to you."
Then, we come to a halt.
"Would you do that to me, Val?"
My heart stops and I can no longer breath. His green eyes stare at me intently and he begins to bite his lips in anticipation. In an attempt to muster the best smile I can and enough courage, I say:
"No, I would not."
I lied.
"Good," he beams, content with my reply. He puts his arm around me, kissing me on the forehead and causing butterflies in my stomach. His tanned skin heating my body. "Because I like you too much for that," he whispers in my ear.
"As a friend," I mimic his care free attitude.
Unexpectedly, Wyatt's face drops and an unknown emotion takes over him. Strangely, it's gone as quickly as it appeared.
"Yes," he grins. "As a friend."