It has been a great life, to be honest. I mean, I passed all my exams, came top of my class actually. I am one person who can say that they have read and watched most of the world's comics, books, novels, and movies and with record time too. I was a very isolated person too. I wish I could say that I could carry on my journey to finish reading the rest of my novels and movies but I can't.
The Man clothed in a blue shirt and formal pants right in front of me said that I died from lack of sleep. Strangely there was an Elephant in the room. When I asked who he was he said he is God. He said I am not supposed to have died. Whatever that means.
"No, you literally weren't supposed to die just yet. You had a great future ahead of you. There was going to be a lot of face-slapping, pride-crushing - that I edited myself, moments in your future. What happened, shouldn't have happened no matter how long you stayed awake." God sighed "Oh man, there was going to be some weird pulling. One time you save a random woman, and she pulled you aside to what you thought she was give you some head. But guess what?"
"What?"
"No head. She was an assassin." He frankly laughs in his chair.
God, God is a fuckboy."You would too if you had never been born, nor have you never had an end to speak of. Okay. I have nothing in my future execpt eternal peaceful happiness, Do you know what's that like? Huh?
"No, no, no, no."
"No?"
"No"
"That's what I thought. Either way, you pulled her after clapping her."
Fuckboy
He's confusing me. No one can stay awake for 52 hours straight watching season after season and movie after movie and not die. Honestly, GOD you're just overestimating my capabilities of being a waste of space.
I knew that I should have gone to sleep when I felt dizzy last night.
"Wait! You felt dizzy last night?" GOD's face is filled with a lot of processing until his face seems to show some realization.
"God" he moved his fake beard a little to the left.
"Ah I am sorry, but you died early."
We already established that.
"Let me rephrase that. I'm but you died early - wrongly. You were supposed to live a great life with limitless money and a great family as well as live forever after you found a cultivation method in one of the games - also my edit, but it seems that I made a mistake on my part. Your fortune got swapped with someone else's misfortune. He was supposed to get dizzy from overworking at a black company and realize he must head home to rest only to get hit by a car that he didn't see coming because of the tiredness. Well, that guy was supposed to be here and you down there but here we are now. I only realized after I check his document that you aren't him. Sorry for the inconvenience on our part."
I don't know what this guy wants me to do. I'm human. It doesn't matter if I deck him or not, I because nothing is going to change.
"It's fine, but wish I could have finished my movies and games. It's no use to cry over something that has already happened," I said with a sigh that followed.
"Thank you, it really means a lot to me, really," he said as he nodded his heaf
Let me just get this over and done with then since everything is cleared up, "Heaven or Hell?"
"Excuse me...?" God said with a little confusion in his response.
"Am I going to heaven or hell? Don't tell me it's all fake," I said with curiosity. Has it all been a lie? No gotcha yet, so must be in the safe zone. Does that mean Sam the atheists were right? But he is wrong about the God part so that is one win, right?
Actually, if I look at him closely he kind of reminds me of someone. A mystery.
With the sense of realization of what I was talking about, he instantly said, "Oh no, heaven does exist. Hell doesn't. But the confusion was because you are thinking that I am going to send you after death. No, I am going to send you to a random world to make you finish the remainder of your days. And since you are supposed to become immortal and have a great life with your family, I have just the right place to send you to."
"That sounds like it a lot of work on your part. Are you sure you are going to do this?" I said. Isn't this going to be a lot of paperwork to send me to live another life?
"Shut the fuck up, I'm bored out of mind watching people do the same thing over and over again until someone dies, and so the complications," he said with a smile on his face. "I mean you'll know what I mean in few eternities."
I am just going to ignore the fact he read my mind without my permission and ask about this world I am going to. Actually, he heard me. Need I ask. Right?
"Right, and it is going to be a secret until you get to the world. I am going to give you four wishes of your own before you can go down there okay?" he said wiggling four fingers. He seems calm now.
My first wish is easy. The power of the omega mimik from Edge of tomorrow,
My second wish could apply anywhere in any world. The upgraded siphoning ability from TVD. Of course, that means all be a witch, and for that's where the upgrade comes in. I want to somehow siphon anything talent and magic anything. I know I should probably say it because it is the best course of action.
But let's be honest on why I want this. Magic red glowing hands are hella cool
The third is to be able to have the Time Stop ability from Quantum Break. Need I say anything?
Fourth is to be, ah... I don't know... Handsome. Maybe dark black hair that is maybe really shiny and - eyes? Fuck this wish. Erase that. I wish to be a demi-god from Percy Jackson, cause being half god just claps hard
I don't need to say this out loud to you because you are probably still reading my mind, right?
I looked at him. He was looking at his notepad, with his hand covering his mouth. He did not look okay. Hold up. Where did that pad come from?
"What. The. Fuck. Am. I. Looking. At."
"Ah—What?"
"You want be a fucking Demi-humanoid alien that does fucking magic."
Leaning forward "Sorry?"
"What you mean 'Sorry?'? What you couldn't fucking put robot in there. I said wish for something, you said 'to be a mutant.' "
"Right again, and you don't have to worry about these wishes not being fulfilled. These are a breeze," he said boastfully
"Great though, I have to ask. Does it get lonely after some time?" It has been on my mind since he said that I will still be immortal in this world.
"No need to worry. Matter of fact. I'll leave that as a surprise." he said reassuringly. "OK, I let not waste time I have to attend to fake business today. Hope you best wishes on your journey," he said as he waved his hand causing a black hole to open up underneath me. He pulled his beard down and instantly I knew who he looked like.
"FUCKING RYAN REYNOLDS."
"FUCKING STILE STILINSKI!"
What the fuck is a Stiles?
However, my body got designated into nothingness. Nothing hurts more than having your soul go through space and time in a black hole.
...
Alone with his Elephant in this massive room. Existence is such a funny thing cause he made that elephant it thinks that it always been alive.
Looking at where that kid went God sighed.
"He should be back, right?"
The elephant just blow it trunk like a trumpet.
"Yeah your right, I should have mentioned that he won't remember me." He nodded, a turned around to his desk.
"Second one this year." he sighed again.