As Haneul left the house with literal tears in his eyes, I turned to Yewean with anger to give him a pice of my mind, but he just collapsed on the chair in front of me and he, Yewean, started crying hysterically in front of me.
The person who does not even show an expression for most of his life, who hides all his emotion because that's who he is , was now crying loudly sitting in front of me? He cried like he had no tomorrow. He cried like something inside him just died. He cried like he just gave up on life. He cried like he just lost something that means more than his life to him.
I have never seen Yewean have a mental break down like this atleast in front of someone. The fact that he can't even hold his tears to go to the room and then cry was scaring me more.
"Why are you crying, Yewean huyng?" I asked with a a confused face, but tried to sound as sympathetic as I could as I was too confused to have sympathy right now.
"I don't know, Namchan...it just feels like I lost something very important....it feels like I am deprived of oxygen and I can not live without oxygen right?.....it feels like so empty in me." Yewean tried to speak his heart out through the gasps he took for breathing as he was suffocating due to all the crying.
"Why would you feel such a thing, it's just that Haneul left, maybe forever from your life and anyway he was an accident right, dont effect your self with just an accident" I said in an casual but taunting voice as I got up to leave the kitchen. I wanted to trigger the feeling he felt for Haneul, I wanted him to say it out loud proudly and Imy words were successful in doing it.
"I LOVE HIM" Yewean shouted in between his sobs to let me know it before I left and it made my legs stop right then and there and turn to him with the happiest smile in on my face.
"I love Haneul, he was never an accident, I was just too scared of your reaction to the fact that I had sex with a guy or I have feelings for a guy" Yewean said his voice barely over a whisper but enough for me to understand him.
"Listen huyng, i know being straight was probably a phase, but that dose not matter because now you know who you actually are and try to embrace yourself in that way...please dont be ashamed of the fact taht you are a gay....be proud of it"
"Dont get me wrong Namchan, I am not particularly gay because I never felt attracted to any guy and I even had relationships with girls before but with Haneul its different than everything. I don't like guys but I just love only one guy and that is Haneul" Yewean confessed, immediately his tension reducing a little bit.
"Do you have any idea, how happy Haneul would have been if you said these same words back then rather than saying it was an accident...you hurt him more than ever" I said in an understanding but angry voice.
"I want to confess all of it to him, I don't want to lose him, please take everything from me but just bring him back, Namchan" Yewean said, as he collapsed on the floor this time crying harder.
I assured him to convince Haneul to talk to him when he comes to drop me off tonight.
I had to leave Yewean home, who was now much better than a crying mess as I assured him. I had to meet Ahana before going to university as being in the university was very hard for each of us so I wanted to make sure we talked some things out before we go. So i skipped my morning store work and went to Ahana's house.
I specifically wanted to talk about the kiss and stuff.....moments got pretty heated up and out of hand yesterday which was clearly an accident that I didn't regret and will never regret, well unless it effects our newly formed friendship and distance us.
Actually that was the thing I was so scared of, that she might be angry and no more wanted to be friends.