Lan Chang held Ming Cheng tight to her, cradling him with one arm as she placed his food down at a table at the side of the bed, sitting down comfortably and smoothing out the ruffled and now matter hair of her son.
She kept a hand carding through his long, black locks of hair, undoing the simple up do that was required to be worn by all servants and she rubbed soothing circles into his back.
Remembering back to her own childhood and whenever she was hurt, whether it was by rocks that she had fallen over or the boys who tugged on her braids and teased her, Lan Chang remembered the one soothing tune that her mother used to hum to her.
Humming the same tune now, the notes that came from her starting off low and gradually climbing in pitch, before undulating to create the sweet, clear melody that used to sooth away all her pains and have her running outside to break the noses of the boys who had hurt her, her mother cheering along behind her.
She didn't know what had brought on Ming Cheng's sudden bout of terror, and how he was hearing screams that only existed in the world to him.
She didn't know what had caused it, but could only possibly theorise that there had been some incident which had happened to him, back when he lived without a home on the streets, and some kind of action or event had forced his mind to recall the memory that he was currently experiencing now, the child burrowing deeper into her robes, his tiny hands grabbing the fabric and holding it tight within his clenched fists.
She would need to bring Ming Cheng to the physician, later on during the afternoon break, to try and find a cure for his ailments, or at least help to alleviate his symptoms.
She really ought to bring along Wang Yuan as well.
The boy had been with Ming Cheng and his brother would be helpful as well, considering she didn't particularly trust the physician.
The man had been too eager to attempt to take her son away from her and had exhibited a reaction that came off too surprised and excited, rather than concerned at Ming Cheng's lack of reaction towards pain.
She could physically feel the morbid sense of curiosity that just came off the suspicious man in waves, his fingers twitching as if he was ready to pull out a knife and begin dissecting her son to see how he worked.
As far as she was concerned, the man already had enough frogs, insects, and other animals to perform his experiments on.
He could leave her son alone and actually perform his job of helping people.
Suddenly realising that she had been unconsciously tightening the grip of her arms around Ming Cheng, Lan Chang let her posture relax, her limbs dropping, when she heard the faint call of," Don't, go back to before,"
It had been Ming Cheng.
Ming Cheng didn't mind her strong, almost freakish strength and grip.
...
Well, this was certainly a development a stepping stone crossed.
Lan Chang quickly reasserted her strong hug on Ming Cheng, squishing him up so his nothing but his face was visible, at her shoulder, except his bright red and squished out cheeks.
He was still a young child.
Ming Cheng was still a young child.
He was still a young boy with squishy cheeks and fears that he could not yet explain, but he had still gone through so, so much.
He had gone through so much more pain and hardship than Lan Chang could possibly imagine, but he was still working fine in the kitchens, making friends with others of his own age, and was on his way to attaining a respectable and highly honoured career.
Because of what she had given him, he could now find work in so many more places, with heaps of more and more opportunities open to him, from the grand hotels in the capital, and the specialty restaurants throughout the country and further.
But...
It didn't feel like she was doing enough.
What was it that she needed to do to properly comfort and help Ming Cheng.
Feeding him, giving him a career, giving him an opportunity to make friends, access to healthcare, a warm bed, clothing and plenty of hugs were a good start, but what did it actually mean to be a parent?
What did she need to give him to foster the kind of connection that she currently had with her parents - the kind of connection that could be sustained through monthly letters alone and allowed her to express each and every emotion that she wanted, no matter how silly or stupid that it may seem?
How was she supposed to help Ming Cheng, support him, keep him going, and help him live his life?
How was she supposed to even parent?
Taking in Ming Cheng was her response to a situation that had felt right and justified, but at the time, she hadn't particularly thought very forwardly or about what she was going to do next.
All she really knew about children was that they were simply tiny adults in tiny bodies, so ought to be treated as such, needing all the same things that adults did and that parents and their children were meant to share bonds deeper and stronger than anything else.
So she had taken all her actions in imitation of how her own mother treated her, with hours upon hours of patience and care, as her father spent his days working away at the smithy and returned home in the evenings with a big smile on his and big, strong arms full of food.
Lan Chang admired his strength, doing her own push ups beside him and play fighting at every opportunity, despite the limited hours of time that they spent together.
Lan Chang had no real idea of what she was supposed to be doing, but she at least knew that she needed to help Ming Cheng in anyway she possibly could.