Chereads / My Next Life As A Cat Girl Made Me OP Cute!!! / Chapter 5 - Chapter 5: Unforgettable Regrets

Chapter 5 - Chapter 5: Unforgettable Regrets

I felt like I was swimming in darkness, just like when I died and ended up in that void. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't hear anything. There was nothing but empty pitch black darkness. Suddenly a sudden shock opened my eyes, as I found myself no longer in the forest anymore. I was in the city... But not just any city... it was the city I grew up in in my previous life.

"No... this can't be. H-How am I back here? I didn't just dream all of that reincarnation stuff, did I?!"

Then a little girl phased right through me with a black plushie cat doll. That was me in my previous life, as a child. I put two and two together, and remembered falling asleep because someone put apple powder on me? So I am dreaming here right now, and the reincarnation journey was real.

"Big brother, look! Mommy gave me a new kitty, " the dream kid of me said happily.

"Wait... this dream is-."

"Another one, Catherine? That's the 10th one you have" a voice said chuckling a bit, "If you keep that up, your room will turn into a cat plushie litter box."

"I know, but I can't help myself, " she said hugging the cat plushie, "But whenever I see a cat, I just can't help but be at awe by it. The other kids thinks I'm weird though... Hey big brother... should I... stop liking cats..."

"Never, " he said as he patted her head, "You should always be yourself no matter what that is. While it is always good to be mindful of others feelings, you should never let that stop you from doing anything. Be what you want to be, whether it's being a cat lover or just being my little sister, know that I'll always be here for you."

"Liar..."

You weren't there for me. This promise broke when you disappeared on my 11th birthday. You told me you had a gift waiting for me, and that you were gonna pick it up. You never came. Everyone went searching for you. Everyone looked for you. I looked for you. For days...months... I felt so betrayed and hurt. All of a sudden, I saw the whole scene change in a blink of an eye, as I saw the kid version of my previous life walking in the cold winter snow at dark, still looking for him, still in grief and tears.

"Where are you... big brother...? Please... come home... I need you... Please... don't leave me alone..."

After that I used my obsession with cats as more of a distraction, since it always made me feel better just being around cats. I helped my family cope with the disappearance of my brother as a excuse to forget my grief as well. The memory of my big brother eventually faded away, as I grew older my cat dreams just developed along the way. I never felt sad again, almost as if I refused to let it out. But it's not like I can go back and go looking for him again. I died and made a promise to Kath I'd look for Key, that's why I was training so hard.

Or at least that's what I thought. Thinking back, I was way more than capable to travel a long time ago. Was I... stalling? All this time, I could have left the forest to search for him at any given point, and yet I chose to stay. Why?! I have no reason to be in this forest! Why couldn't I leave?! Was I afraid of going out because of my hybrid race? No, race discrimination isn't something that would ever bother me, I'm far stronger than that and I can stand up towards stuff like that! Was it because of Lucifer? No, I could never blame Lucifer after everything he's done and I could have left way at any point before meeting Lucifer face to face.

Was it... because I was afraid of meeting with her brother? My heart stopped for a moment and the realization settled in. I was distracting myself the same way I would distract myself to forget my big brother. What was wrong me? How could I be so selfish and cruel to push away a promise I made to Kath like that, just because of my past problems with my own older brother!

"I'm so horrible... Wake me up! WAKE ME UP! PLEASE! LET ME SET THINGS RIGHT! PLEASE GOD! JUST WAKE ME UP FROM THIS DAMN NIGHTMARE!"

["CATHERINE" HAS TAKEN THE ANTIDOTE.]

[WAKING PROCESS NOW LOADING.]

["CATHERINE" IS NOW AWAKE.]

I felt a light flash in my eyes as I immediately woke up in a cold sweat, in a leaf bed. Wait. Wasn't I in a bag getting kidnapped and-. WAIT, WHERE'S LUCIFER?!

"Lucy! Lucy!!! Where are you?! LUCIFER!"

I immediately saw Lucifer, who looked extremely tired and had bandages all over his body. He rushed in and hugged me right then and there, as he started to cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, " he said over and over again in regret very fast, "I should have reacted sooner before they started to use the apple powder. It's my fault! I'm sorry, Kitten! Please, forgive me!"

"Lucy, slow down! Please, I don't understand what you're saying. There we go... Now, tell me what happened while I was asleep, slowly please."

He explained to me after I was affected by apple powder and fell asleep. Lucifer killed the humans and almost half the forest out of pure rage, but realizes what he what he was doing and stopped himself. He got injured and badly hurt as a result from his rage. However, he had to brush that off to try and take me to demon territory to save me, then suddenly felt a magical presence at the the large travel wagon the humans came out of, which he found to be fairies trapped in cages, figuring out that those humans were race poachers, people who hunt and capture other beings from other races inferior to them to sell for profits, no matter what use they have for that species. He then freed the fairies in hoping they could cure me and they agreed to take the both of us to the village. Since then, we stayed in the village of fairies until I was cured. It lasted for 3 days, and usually it would be a week before someone could ever wake up cured from apple powder, so he was so surprised and relieved when he heard me call his name.

"Lucy... Shhh, it's okay. I'm okay now, I promise. Now, wipe those tears off, I need to thank the fairies personally."

"You don't have to move, " voice called out from the entrance of the leaf tent, "I'm glad to see you awake, the Fallen Prince was worried sick about you. Oh, my apologies, I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Cleon, and I'm the Fairy King of Flair Forest."

"Fairy King?"

The king had long blonde hair, green eyes, pointy ears, transparent wings that sparkle beautifully with the sunlight and very tall with what looks to be a green-white priest outfit with a thorny vine crown filled with flowers and gems on his head. He put his hand upon my forehead, and a green light began to glow from it. He released his hand from my head with a surprised expression.

"You're that unworldly soul that fell down to Astra, " Cleon said, "How mysterious. To think you'd be a Cat Kin Human Hybrid, though. That's a very risky move to take, coming from my opinion, but-."

"Wait, how do you know-?"

"Well I'm not like the Fallen Prince, but fairies do have their own ways of finding out people's true identities, " he explained, "Don't worry, my people won't say a word about you, and you are welcome to stay for as long as you wish. Or whenever he decides to let you go of his grip, your choice."

As he left, I then realized what he meant. Lucifer was still holding me tightly in his arms. I tried to push him away from the embrace, but failed to get free.

"Please, just... stay like this... a little longer, " he said with his body now trembling, " I need a moment or two... to pull myself together..."

I accepted the embrace back, and patted his back, trying to calm him down, repeating over and over again on how everything is going to be okay and that I was here for him. But I too was hurting. I was using the exact same encouragement my brother gives me, not even sure it would be okay. Is that how you felt when you tried to encourage me, brother? Not knowing the future consequences, but giving hope that everything would work out in the end. Why am I doing the exact same thing to Lucifer and Kath like you did with me, brother?! Why... Why am I...?

"Kitten! KITTEN, SNAP OUT OF IT" he yelled at me when he already pulled me out of the hug minutes ago as I snapped out of my trance, "Are you okay? You been repeating the same thing even after we finished hugging and you even started to cry. I'm so sorry, it's my fault isn't it?"

"Oh, it's nothing! It's not your fault, really! I'm okay, I promise! I just... remembered something in my past... that's all..."

"Your life from the other world, " he asked.

"Yes... And it's not a memory I like looking back at."

"Was it your brother, " he blurred out, much to my shock.

"I never mentioned that to you, how did-?! Right... it's probably a angel-demon thing..."

"Actually..., " he said looking away, "You were always crying when you fell asleep and repeating 'brother', 'where did you go' and 'please come back home'... Ever since I stayed by your side, you've mumbling those words all the time in your sleep... so I tried to comfort you whenever I could... I never brought it up since I had a feeling it was a sensitive topic... but I hoped maybe you'd speak about it with me when you're ready... but now... I couldn't bear the thought that keeping myself silent of this fact... it made you suffer in sleep for 3 days... So please... rely on me to help you with this... like how you relied on me to train you... as your friend."

His words touched my heart, as I reached out to his hand and held it. I was ready to speak to him about my life from the other world and about my brother. How he disappeared without a trace, how I distracted myself with my love for cats and all of my dreams of what I wanted to do in the future. Some things didn't exist in Astra, so I had to described its meanings, which fascinated him. Though by the end of the whole talk he then asked one question that threw me off.

"Was your brother... named Cato, " he asked looking down.

"Wait... are you saying he was... here?"

"Not exactly," he said, "I don't want to get your hopes up, but back when I was still living in heaven, there was a human who ascended as a god, often didn't act like the other humans from Astra. I only ever talked with him once, since I asked him what his human journey was like. He did mention how this world is completely different from where he use to live in and that magic made him do so much more than his previous life without ever did. Which confused the heck out of me, and later researched that there is another mystery world untouched by magic."

"So... he didn't even care about our family... he didn't care about me...?"

"Wha-? No no! It wasn't like that at all, " he said assuring me, "He did love this world of magic yes, but as he talked about his journey, he told me one regret, is that he couldn't ever return home and apologize to a person dear to him, since he broke a promise to her giving something to her, but can't now that he's god of our realm."

"So he's alive... and he does care... I'm so glad."

"Yeah, " he said smiling, "And he's the one who judged and banished me."

Well damn brother, didn't know you could be so cruel. But still... I'm glad he told me this. Now that I know he's okay, alive and still treasures his family... I feel like that hole in my chest has faded away and nothing else is holding me back.

That's more than enough for me.

This world is more than enough for me.

And I'm ready to move forward, without distractions.

I'll see you Brother, right after I fulfilled my promised to Kath.