Six weeks later, I started to get an upset stomach in school. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't work.
"Do you want to go to the nurse's office?" asked my History teacher, Mrs. Louise Weeks.
"I was thinking the same thing," I answered.
At the nurse's office, I threw up twice. Even though I had no fever, the nurse decided to dismiss me. I'm glad she did that because when I got home, I kept vomiting.
"Would you like soup?" asked Dad.
"I'll wait until later," I replied.
"Okay," said Dad.
That afternoon, he told me he was going to do a few errands.
"Are you going to be alright for a bit?" asked Dad.
"Yes," I responded.
That was when he left to do a few things. Then, I realized something: I was due to have my period yesterday, but it didn't start. Also, I noticed I skip those doses again. I could've sworn I took my birth control the night I was with Samuel. When I checked my calendar, I didn't notice my period didn't begin last month either.
I asked to myself isn't that a sign of pregnancy? I'm terrified to find out. I went to a drug store and took a pregnancy test to be on the safe side. That was when a positive sign showed up. Yikes. I knew what positive means: I'm pregnant! No wonder I had an upset stomach and kept puking. That must have been a morning sickness. How could that happen? Now, I'm afraid to tell Dad. I can't picture him return to be strict like he used to be. I have to think of something and think of a way to tell him.
At home, I was in my room emailing my group of best friends the news and my worries to tell Dad. I was in tears. He didn't come back from errands yet. I was practicing on what to say to him. I was also trying on what to do. Perhaps, Dad can give me some advice about my options. I'm sure he'd be supportive no matter what I choose.
That was when Dad came back and said, "I'm back."
"That was fast," I said.
"The post office, bank, and a few stores don't take too long," said Dad.
"Oh. Anyway, can I talk to you about something later on before you leave for work?" I asked.
"Sure, but I have time," said Dad.
"That's okay, I'll wait for a bit," I said. "I was just going over to Samuel's to get some air. I'm better now anyway."
"Alright," said Dad.
I went over to Samuel's. We were in his backyard when I told him the news.
"That's a surprise," said Samuel.
"I know. I'm scared to tell Dad, which is why I came over to tell you first," I said. "And, I should think about my options. I could've sworn that I took the pill the night we were together. I don't recall missing the dose."
"Mistakes do happen," Samuel pointed out.
"I suppose you're right," I said. "I do know that I don't believe in abortion. Doing that would make me feel uncomfortable, so the only two options are either raising the child or give it to someone who wants a baby."
"We can figure this out together," said Samuel.
"I'll tell my father first later on before I make a decision," I said.
After we had a long talk, I know what to tell Dad now. When I got back home, he was gone to bed for a few hours.
Later, I was awake at 10:00 pm when Dad noticed I was on the couch and said, "I thought you'd be in bed by now, sweetie."
"I couldn't sleep. Do you have time to talk before you leave for work? I had things in my mind earlier; that's why I wasn't ready to talk at the time," I said.
"I have time for a bit. I did notice something was bugging you," said Dad as he sat with me.
"I'm sorry to let you down to tell you this: I'm pregnant. I was worried to bring it up. That might explain why my stomach was hurting me and keep throwing up," I said. "I don't understand. I thought I took my birth control. I don't remember missing it by mistake."
"Sweetie, it's okay. I'm glad you told me so I can help you. I'll see if Dr. Duarte can examine you," said Dad.
"Alright. I'm so stupid to let this happen," I said in tears.
"No, you're not," said Dad comforting me.
"I already told Samuel and we decided to work on our options together," I said.
"That's good. Anyway, I have to leave for work now, so we can talk some more about it tomorrow," said Dad.
I didn't sleep well that night. I didn't realize I finally fell asleep at 3:00 am. Three hours later, I took a shower before I got dressed for school. When Samuel and I walked, he told me he didn't tell his parents yet.
"I told my dad and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He told me he was glad I came to him so he can help me out," I said. "I still thought it was strange on how it happened."
"I know," agreed Samuel.
At school, I pretended it didn't happen and it worked. I wonder how I could remain in the bowling club. I'm sure I can still do that.
After school, at my house, Samuel and I talked about our options some more.
"I'm thinking about adoption so you and I can continue high school and go to college. I figured it would be difficult to have a baby while going to school. I don't know how I could see ourselves doing that," I said. "The bottom line is that I'm just not ready to be a mother just yet."
"I agree that adoption would be a better choice for us. After all, we just started dating and we're too young to know if we'd be together for the rest of our lives," said Samuel.
"Also, I'm only 14 going on 15. You just turned 15 just before I moved here," I said.
"That is true," said Samuel.
Later, I was seen by Dr. Duarte, who told me I was about six weeks and told me the due date would be June 12, 2000. That would help me to be prepare when I'm ready to choose a couple.
"I had a feeling since I didn't get my period. In fact, I had no idea I missed it last month either. I'm glad I found out instead of waiting a bit longer," I said.
"I agree with you," said Dr. Duarte.
At home, I went to Dad and said, "Samuel and I talked about our options and we think adoption would be a better solution for the both of us. We don't want to be the parents until after college and we're too young to know if we want to be together forever since we just started dating. Samuel told me Angela did the same thing and had no regrets on it. I should look online for a nearby adoption center."
"Okay," said Dad.
I did and the closest one is in Warwick. The center is called Bethany Christian Services. I called there and told them I plan to go there sometime this week to get some information. And, they said I can go there anytime. I asked Dad if he can take me to the adoption center tomorrow and he said he would.
"I just want to explore to make sure adoption would make sense," I said.
"Some young teens do that," said Dad.
The next day, Dad took me to Bethany Christian Services after school. I spoke to a specialist who was very nice to me. She even set me up with another teen, who had just given up her baby for adoption not long ago, the day after tomorrow.
"Okay. I'll pick a couple after that," I said.
"Not a problem," said the adoption specialist.
When I met the teen two days later, she was pleasant.
"I gave my baby up for an adoption because I'm in high school and I'll be graduating soon. Plus, I had no support from my boyfriend who broke up with me after I got pregnant. On top of that, my parents have jobs and I don't except them to baby-sit while I'm in school. I don't have a job. I wouldn't able to afford for a baby-sitter. I just got accept to attend Umass Dartmouth to study to be a preschool teacher. My parents are wonderful when I asked them to bring me here and I knew adoption was the best decision for me and my baby. I'm thankful to have them to support my choice," explained the teen.
After hearing her experience, I felt much better. I thanked her and told the adoption specialist I'd be back to pick a couple for my child. Later, I phoned Mary Jane and told about my adoption plans.
"Go for it. I'm glad you felt great after meeting that teen about her experience," said Mary Jane.
"Me, too. Dad's supportive about my decision. Samuel and I thought about adoption together," I said.
After we talked, I'm thankful that Mary Jane, Janet, and Sarah were supportive with me about my choice. It's good to have best friends like that. Here's my advice: Don't let them make decisions that you might not want to do. After I listed a few reasons in my head, I really do believe that adoption is the smart choice for me.
"I'm glad that adoption is the best thing to do. I thought about other things in my head about why I choose to place the child for adoption. I want to go college after high school, but not sure on what career yet. I'm almost 15. I have two more reasons: First of all, you work double shifts if you're needed. I can't afford a sitter since I'm too young to get a job. Last but not least, this is a two-bedroom house. How could I raise a baby here?" I asked.
"You got a good point," agreed Dad.
On Monday, I went back to the adoption center after school. I looked at a few profiles. There was this couple, Ricky and Lydia Turner, who have been trying to have a baby for the past four years. They just adopted a child last year, a two-year-old girl who was in foster care because her mother was ill with cancer and died from it. The girl's father did the same thing my own mother did: only he took off before she was born and they couldn't locate him. He must have been unlisted or something. They are ready to adopt another child. So, I decided to choose that couple.
"May we make arrangements so I can meet them?" I asked.
"Sure we can. Let me give them a call so I can set you all up. They had just moved 20 minutes away in Hope Valley," said the specialist.
So she did and it was all set. I can meet the Turners next Monday at 3:45 pm. Later, I emailed the gals about the couple and about meeting them next week after school. They replied later saying they were happy for me. I told them I don't regret my decision and gave out more reasons to do adoption since I didn't tell them. I added what I mentioned to Dad who agreed with me. They also agreed raising a child in a two-bedroom house would be tough. Then, I did my homework and went over to Samuel's.
"I just picked a couple today," I said as I told him about them. "I'm going to meet them a week from today at 3:45 pm."
"It's good to pick any couple that is right for you and the baby," said Samuel.
"I know," I said.
"I told my parents about our choice to give the baby up for adoption and they have been great about it," said Samuel.
"My best friends are being supportive as well," I added.
"Angela started to regret about the adoption, but I told her she did the right thing and she shouldn't feel bad about it," said Samuel as I agreed with him.
"I don't regret it at all," I said.
"Me either. Angela plans to place her name with adoption agency so that the child can look her up when he turns 18 if he wants to. But they already have her in the file and kept them in a safe place until the time comes," said Samuel. "She didn't want the updates though in case she gets upset, but they'll save the updates in that files in case she wants to read them."
"I don't blame her. Honestly, I'm not sure if I want any updates yet. I might give it a try, but if it starts to hurt me, I'd tell the Turners to send them to the files instead. I'll decide when time comes," I said.
"It's totally up to you," said Samuel.
"I'm thinking to try for Mom again. I believe I'm ready to see her. Back when I first saw her, I wasn't ready at all," I said.
"It's okay if you want to her or not," said Samuel.
"I'll talk to Dad about it. It was hard for me to come around her," I said.
"It can be tough for anyone," said Samuel.
"When I read the profiles, I realized I wasn't alone. The girl's dad did the same thing right before she was born. So, I can relate to that. No one knows where the father is. The mother was ill and did not have the money to take care of her daughter, which was why she in foster care for a while until she was well, but unfortunately, she lost her battle to cancer last year. That's how the Turners decided to adopt the little girl," I explained.
"That's a shame," said Samuel.
"I know. At least the mother did the right thing while she was sick. I guess she had no relatives to care for her daughter," I said. "The mother was in her mid-20s according to the records. But she was a loving mother. She tried so hard to be a single mom without her boyfriend."
"Wow. That's young," said Samuel.
"I know," I said.
After we had a nice, long talk, I had go back home to have supper. Dad made pork chops with gravy, corn, and rolls. He gave me great advice on how to give birth a healthy baby especially during mealtime. He told me what Mom had while she was pregnant with me and I find that very helpful.
"Dad, I don't know why I'm saying this, but I might try to see Mom again. Do you think it would be okay? I wasn't ready at the time, however, now I think I'm ready now. Samuel told me it's okay if I want to go for it or not," I said.
"He's right. I don't mind if you want to do so, honey," said Dad.