"When life turns a certain way, it's better to go with it and enjoy the new stuff that's coming towards you, instead you would be left with the despair of not being able to accept the changes", that's what Grace's grandmother always used to tell her. The woman was an idol of patience and flexibility. She always had a positive attitude for life.
Grace grew up seeing her grandma going through some of the most difficult phases of life with a smile and ease. Her parents, on the other hand, were too ambitious to earn money. When Grace was three years old, they left her at her grandma's and went to America to try their luck. What could a three old possibly feel about it? Nothing actually. It was the time when her senses were developing, so she started taking her grandma as her everything.
Her parents visited her once or twice a year. Probably enough for Grace to be reminded every time that she has actual mom and dad. Grace didn't really have any problem with them working far away. She lived her life with a unique charm. That doesn't mean she peaked in high school, it simply meant she went through this without any hard feelings. She can't be described as a talker or someone who stole the spotlight. Instead, she was someone 'unapproachable'. She actually didn't let anyone get closer to her. But she saw more. She noticed more. The more she saw how the society works, the less interested she got to be a part of it.
She often used to ask her grandma, "why do people do this?"
Her grandma replied with a sweet smile, "just let people live their life, they have come a far way. Now, even if they would want to, it would take a lot more efforts they can imagine." During that time, Grace thought that she could just go through a normal life happily like that. If she ever feels insecure or troubled, her grandma would help her out. But life was not meant to be lived that way.
When Grace was 17, she saw a big crowd in front of her house. As she looked at it, memories of the past few days came back to her. How her grandma wasn't eating properly, started having frequent light fevers. She was often out of breath after walking just some short steps. While standing there she felt chills running down through her whole body. Her fantasy of being with her forever was crumbling in front of her own eyes. She struggled to take every single step towards her house. Her thoughts were fighting with each other. She wanted to hurry and see what happened but at the same time, she didn't want her worst nightmare to be true.
As she was standing on the door, she could faintly see her grandma being put on a stretcher. Some people started crying as she walked by. Grace could see the pity and sympathetic look at their faces. Her fear kept growing more and more darker.
Her insides were screaming. "No, No, No! Don't make that face! Please don't make all of this real." Tears started running down her eyes. Grace knew this wasn't a nightmare anymore. It was actually happening. She lifted her heavy feet and ran towards her grandma.
"No wait!", she screamed at the nurse.
"What happened here? Why are you taking her away? Would she be alri-", her voice cracked.
She started sobbing while holding the nurse's hand.
"Who's she?", the nurse inquired.
"She is the granddaughter of this lady who passes away here", another nurse replied.
Grace froze at her place. Her body started trembling. Her insides were ice cold. The words started ringing inside her ears. Grace kept telling herself that it's not true until this moment. But now, she didn't really know what to do anymore. Someone actually said it. No matter how hard she tries, she couldn't lie herself to not believe in those words. Her legs were wobbly. Slowly she started descending, falling on the ground.
The nearby nurse held her by the arm, "pull yourself together miss". Grace snatched her arm away. She quickly went to her grandmother who was on the stretcher. Her face was colourless. She wasn't moving at all. Her lips were not smiling as they used to. Her shimmery eyes were shut close. Her hands were not welcoming Grace home anymore.
"No Grandma wake up! You can't go", Grace cried. For usual she would have got up and wiped her tears, but this time Grace was bound to accept the truth in front of her eyes.
"You can't go like this", Grace kept trying, "You didn't even say goodbye". It didn't matter to grace if she was making sense anymore or not. It seemed like a kid trying to hold on to his most precious thing. The tears were flowing endlessly. Her eyes were burning out. The dizziness was taking over her body. This was the point in her life when she realized she has to live her life individually.
As her grandma was going away, the constant memories kept coming to her. Her laugh, the smile, her voice, her presence. The smirk when grace would burn the food. The chuckling voice of her "Oh grace dear, what will I do of you?" Her soothing words, "I'm here dear, you don't need to worry." The constants walk they would take after dinner, "C'mon Grace! Don't make your body suffer by sitting like this all day". Every small effort she made to make Grace's life better. Every little gesture if hers to let Grace know how much she loves her. The pies, afterschool snack, holiday lunches, hot dinner in cold winter nights. The special smoothie as a reward for doing well in exams. The secret brownie to cheer her up. Even the hot milk when she couldn't fall asleep.
Grace's body gave up. She fell down on the floor hitting her head hard. There were still tears in her eyes. As she fell down her hand were still trembling. Even unconsciously she was muttering for her grandma to not go. In the end, she remembered the day they were sitting outside after dinner.
"You know Grace", her grandma said.
"hmm?", asked grace while stuffing the ice cream in her mouth.
"I won't always be with you. Life and death are something you can't control.", her grandma said while staring up at the sky full of stars.
"What the hell are you saying Grandma!?", Grace provoked, "how come you say such bad words during a beautiful time?"
Her grandma chuckled. She got that grace is denying this fact. "But you should know that you need to live your life beautifully on your own terms. I didn't stop my life for anyone and neither should you. You cannot let yourself break down because of someone else. Not everyone is meant to be our special one" She started caressing Grace's hair, "you are a very intelligent girl dear. I know you will make good choices."
"Don't you always say that", Grace chuckled. "Well because that's the truth", her grandma replied. "Don't ever stop being who you are, okay dear?", she kissed her forehead. It got a little emotional for Grace. "I won't! As long as you stop talking like it's the end of the world.", Grace smiled. Today was the day when she actually came to know what she was talking about. With the hallucination of that day, Grace fully lost her consciousness.