A dull pain lodged in the back of my chest. How long has it been since I've had this dream? It seemed forever as I stumbled my way through the darkness. My one thought was that I had to find him, I didn't know how or why only that I had to keep going. A small light began to flicker in front of me. After waiting for hours in that cold room I finally have another chance, my last chance. Running fast towards the light, it became blindingly bright. I controlled my breathing as best possible, urging the terrorizing fear I felt to calm. I have to focus now. When my eyes finally adjusted I saw where I was; standing in the center of a large room surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of people, every eye on me. I took in my surroundings and found that something was very wrong. Every person wore rags on there lifeless looking bodies. They were filthy a looked as though they had all been through some kind of hell. Men and women ranging in all ages stood and stared with a hungry looked in their eyes. I looked down at myself to see I looked just as awful, I wore clothing that was unrecognizable for what it once had to have been, the fabric I did have on me was little to none, tied together in places to keep it from falling off my shriveled body that no longer held any weight. I knew I should have felt embarrassed but something much more threatening kept my pulse racing and my immediate thoughts occupied.
When I began calling his name the large circle of people that surrounded me began to close in, instead of standing there I dived into the crowd and began pushing my way through in an attempt to find him. I knew I had little time left as the smell of blood sweat and smoke filled my nostrils making me want to vomit but somehow I knew there was nothing in my stomach to lose. With what little hope I had left in me and wave of heavy exhaustion kicking in, I felt my knees quake and begin to buckle under me. As I pushed on, I knew if I could see myself the heavy dirt and grime that covered my face would be left with the bright streaks of hot tears that trailed down my face. Where are you? was all I could think over and over again after I lost the energy to even call his name.
Slowly all around me, I realized the people were beginning to chant. If I couldn't keep going I would die. I knew it yet I didn't want to move anymore. As the people became louder in their rage of screams and shouts the smallest of voices caught my attention. I strained to hear it again. My name. Someone was calling my name.
I turned around fast enough to catch the smallest glimpse of his shadowed face in the center ring where I had come from. "I'm coming!" I screamed with all I had in me over the deafening noise. Shoving my way back through the crowd they closed in tighter making it harder to move let alone breath. By the time I finally escaped through the outer edge I was running as fast as I could despite the pain of the injuries covering my body that until now I wasn't aware of.
Calling my name over and over again, he finally came into view, arm outstretched and waiting it was clear to me he was as battered as I was if not worse. "Run!" He screamed. I ran faster feeling my heart swell with a feeling unknown to me. I kept running but it took my spent legs to collapse under me before I realized I wasn't getting any closer. When I finally crawled myself up from the ground It was as though time had stopped. My heart shattered as I watched the trickle of a single tear fall down his cheek. He was still so far away yet I had seen it so clearly. It was then I knew my time was up.
First, they took him, dragging him down despite his best efforts to get back up. Then they took me. I had no choice, I closed my eyes and prayed it would be over soon.
Waking suddenly in a panic I rolled over and slammed the alarm clock off that continued to play a Bob Seger favorite of mine. I rolled again to stare at the ceiling while listening to the neighbor's dogs barking and the soft bang of the front door closing. Drenched in sweat, with my heart beating a million miles an hour I willed my clenched fists to release there death grip on the quilt. Though the dream managed to escape my memory I was still left with the same uncomfortable feelings; terror and heartbreak.
The sound of footsteps approaching brought a sudden end to my train of thought. I wiped the tears which I didn't understand from my eyes. Before another second could pass I was out of bed and on my feet scrambling for the clean clothes found piled all over the bedroom floor. I quickly found a basic pair of black jeans and a dark green T-shirt, I grabbed my old sneaker and went to reach blindly under the bed for the second one, just as I did a sharp pain seared the top of my hand, ripping the shoe out revealed two minor scrapes along the length of my fingers. Trailing closely behind was the little devil herself, Lapua, my older brother's cat. Before leaving for college almost a year ago I felt obligated to say yes to the care of the little monster and have since regretted it.
Ignoring the new addition to my hand's minor injuries I began tying the lace to my last shoe as the bedroom flew open revealing a very pissed off looking mother who stood under the door, arms crossed and brows drawn together. Disappointment and anger were written all over her face. "Hi, mom," I said attempting to stay as neutral toned as possible. The attempt would fail I knew as I rose from my position on the floor to face her.
A couple of awkward seconds of one of as glaring and the other smiling went by.
"Alora... why aren't you at school?"My mother asked. I knew my own guilty emotions were filling the room, they were clear as day. I was late. Like past 10 late seeing as my mother was already home from work on her lunch break. Scanning the situation I knew today wasn't my day, her work attire, posture, eyes, and hair all screamed exhaustion leaving no mental room for my apologies and tiring excuses. Clearly the only choice now was to grab my stuff and go.
"Sorry, mom. I was just headed out... Love you!" I grabbed for my keys, jacket, and bag at the end of my bed and attempted to slide through the open space in the doorway but was quickly blocked. "I'm late, I really need to go." I basically begged and tried smiling this time a little more apologetically. "Get there quick," she said sighing and dropping her arms to make way for me. I took a step too quick to escape the room when I saw my freedom and regretted it. "wait." she said stopping me in mid-stride. I sighed to myself and turned to face her again. With an even larger smile than before. "I love you too. And don't forget to take him with you when you go." She said. Just as my dog came trotting around the corner knowing all too well what was happening. Watching my mother's expression softened to that of a simple loving look I hugged her lightly before heading out the door.
Having been forced to live on the outskirts of Chicago, Illinois never made things easy. It was commonly known as "The happening place. With every manner of transportation imaginable, providing access to the many amazing tours and attractions the city holds!" Or at least that's what the tourist traps liked to advertise. But being a full-time resident has a whole other feeling. With the city's constant unnecessary construction, bumper to bumper driving, and never-ending giant tours for famous people like the president or Taylor swift makes for an uncomfortable drive not to mention the outrageously high prices for basically everything. It's truly a neverending city, brimming with life in the early hours of the morning. Market shops and businesses of every kind open up welcoming the exceedingly large crowds of tourists that seem to outnumber the residents.
Because of these very reasons, my mother and I decided to live outside of the city where it was quieter, and although that was originally our hope it also continues to be one of our more popular excuses when asked why we live in "The Slums" of the city. But the reality of it was that we've been dirt broke since the divorce that started when I'd just entered the 6th grade. Afterward, my father packed his bags and all the money he had left after gambling it all away and disappeared taking my little sister Poppy with him. The one thing he managed to leave was the prized shotgun he'd promised me for my sweet 16.
Unfortunately, "The Slums" was the perfect name for our little corner of the world. Small groups of trailers and ratty homes spread across a 3-mile distance along the backside of the city. It was common knowledge for being known as the place where all the Illegal Dealers, Junkies, and Felons lived. Neither of the groups slept, they were up all night, every night, yelling, fighting, and partying with the occasional bang-bang of someone's pistol going off. It's been years since the law enforcement drove through the place, every officer that dared to quickly regretted it. They were afraid and with good reason. The people around here hated the "Hogs" and they weren't afraid to do something about it. Not with so many of the neighborhood tenants to back each other up. Luckily for us, they tended to leave us alone, aside from the occasional drunken one who would mistake our trailer for theirs. And so the only real peace that came around was for but a few short hours during the middle of the day when the whole neighborhood would crash, preparing themselves for another full night of chaos. Its why I see so little of my mom, she prefers to keep herself busy at the restaurant avoiding this place.
By the time I finally pulled into my highschool parking lot it was just in time for the lunch bell making for the perfect opportunity to slip through unnoticed. My usual parking spot was hidden in the back, as I turned into it I listened to my Volkswagon beetles transmission grind like no other. Cringing I sighed heavily, "So much for being stealthy."
Just as I killed the engine I watched the school's security come around the corner driving their little golf cart in search of troublemaking kids. I quickly pulled the lever on my seat and flew backward fast enough not to be noticed just as they drove by. When they finally passed I grabbed the lever again to make the seat come back up but it refused, I tugged harder causing it to snap off in my hand. "Damn it." I sighed again. Throwing the piece in my glove box I went for the door but it to refused to budge, shoving my shoulder into it normally did the trick, this time it was only going to leave a bruise. Knowing too early this day was going nowhere good, I reached for my phone to call my one and only savior.
As if we could hear each other's minds, I held the phone to my ear just as he walked around the corner of the school's building. At first sight of each other we smiled and waved, I set my phone in my lap to roll down the window and lean out as he continued to make his way to me. I watched as his thick curly mane of golden hair toss in the wind, along with his goofy lopsided smile that instantly eased my frustrations. "Jakob I need help!" I hollered from across the road. We both laughed in unison when he began walking backward to avoid my exaggerated cry for help. With both of us distracted we didn't notice the truck headed in his direction. "Hey, watch out!" I yelled just as he stepped out into the open space of the parking lot blocking the vehicle. At first glance the drivers had come to an abrupt stop, I watched as Jakob waved his hand in apology then continued to walk. Out of nowhere the tires of the pickup began to spin in place as dark smoke rose up from the pavement, not a second after Jakob was out of the way did they let go of the brakes a drive off at an unnerving speed leaving black rubber marks in their wake. I watched as they went attempting to identify the driver whos face remained shadowed and hidden in smoke. Assholes. I flipped them off just as they exited onto the nearby street and disappeared into traffic.
Jakob trotted the rest of the short distance to me as I shouldered the door one last time. When it opened I crawled out taking my bag with me. "Hey. You okay?" Jakob asked as if our places had just been switched. "Me? what about you. Those jerks, who was that anyway?" I asked him. Reaching his hand out silently asking to carry my bag, I handed it to him while smiling at his gesture of kindness. When I realized he had stopped and he was staring right at me I raised my brow in question. Taking my bag he threw it over his shoulder and gave me one of his killer smiles, showing off his dimples, one of the ones that made all the girls melt. "Why? You interested?" he asked. Confused by his response I started are walk back towards the school with him in tow. "You know I am." I teased, having to assume he was talking about the truck and not the people who were driving it. We both loved our classics and growing up together we spent many of our summers chasing them around from show to show. "It's an 82' Scottsdale," he told me. Confidence and a know-it-all pride oozing in his voice. "Oh really?" I replied attempting to act as though I didn't already know as soon as I laid eyes on it. "Don't play." he laughed. "We both know it's one of your dream trucks. Short bed and all," He said after standing straighter and puffing his chest out if only a little. He always loves to prove how well he knows me. "Yea, okay, you got me," I laughed throwing my hands in the air in an act of defeat. Walking side by side we both looked at each other from the corner of our eyes and smiled knowing all too well what the other was thinking. Reaching his free arm out to rest on the top of my shoulders he pulled me in for a suffocating side hug with his large body, tucking my head in his shoulder pocket. I laughed and pushed him off. "Ah, you forgot deodorant gross!" I teased still smiling in his direction. "I missed you to little bug." He laughed just as we entered the school.