I couldn't hold it in. I had a dream where I told him he still wanted to be with me even after everything I did, even after I cheated on him multiple times.
I didn't want to be at his wedding because I didn't want to see my mom and stepdad. I didn't want him to love anyone else. I realized that I couldn't keep the secret of being in love with him forever. I had to tell someone so when Olivia came down a week before I knew I needed to tell her.
Oliver was going to get married on a beach about two hours from campus. I saw most of the designs and thought they looked nice but knew he didn't want to get married on a beach. He always hated sand. He wanted to get married in the mountains as the snow was falling. I knew that Jessica was the one who decided to get married on the beach, she also decided that their wedding colors should be red and yellow two colors I knew Oliver hated. He hated warm colors he liked blue, black, green, purple, and even white was alright. This wedding was all things she wanted and had nothing to do with him.
When Olivia got there I ranted to her about all these things he was going to hate. Her eyes looked sad "you love him." She said knowing I wouldn't complain so much or know so much if he and I hadn't already talked about the perfect wedding.
I scoffed and turned my back to her. I started laughing how angry I was.
"Hunter you need to tell him." She grabbed my arm making me look at her. She had the same beautiful hazel eyes he did.
"I can't tell him. You know that. Right now his dad pays for everything for both of us. If i told him he would leave her, we would both be poor, and he wouldn't date me for long not after what I did." I stare at the floor.
"What do you mean? You mean the stuff that happened to you at the conversion camp?"
She knew about the camp only finding out after I got back but she wasn't aware of anything that actually happened there.
"He would hate me and I can't put myself or him in that situation again. I do love him. After my degree I will just have to move away from him. I can't see him everyday. It kills me. Jessica is so perfect and they will be happy."
We were in his guest room because that's where Liv was staying. I told her she couldn't tell him either. She agreed after arguing for a while.
I had already gone once to try on my tux. I was going for my second appointment and Oli was supposed to be there.
"Oh boys there is only one available dressing room for now. If one would like to get dressed first or..." the shop owner said looking between us.
"No it's fine. He is my best friend and i have seen him swim plenty of times this won't be any different. Come on" he grabs my hand. I see him start undressing. I bite my lower lip not moving just watching him. After putting him pants on he looks at me smiling "you know little brother you have to get undressed to put on the tux." He bit his lip as he starting unbuttoning my shirt. I let him for a second but then realized what was happening. I pulled away "Oli you can't do that." I bit my lip as I said it. He just nodded.
He kept getting dressed as I finished getting undressed when I got down to just my boxers he stared at me. I sort of covered my body which made him laugh "Hunter I know it's been a while but I have seen you naked you know so this is nothing." Hearing him say this I blush and look at the floor. "I will wait outside" he says kissing the top of my head.
'I almost just let him undress me. I almost 😘 him' I text Olivia.
'U shuld hve he wld hve fucked u n the dressing room.' She responds.
'I watched him undress. I wanted him. I cnt b his best man.' I say to her.
'U hve 2 he doesn't want any1 else.' She says.
"Hunter are you almost done?" I hear his deep sexy voice.
"Yeah Oli just one second." I quickly hurry and get dressed. When I come out there he fixes my collar his hands touching my neck. I know he is fighting not kissing me. "You look amazing." He says putting his hand on my cheek.
"Oh good those look like they fit better? Right?" The shop owner says making us pull away from each other as we nod. After the fitting I can't drive back with him so I tell him I'm going to run instead.
"Hunter we are five miles from school. You can't run that far."
I just ignore him and put in my earbuds. I was already in sweat pants so I just started running.
'Did u get back 2 ur dorm?' Oli texts me.
'👍' I sent back.
'Good i wil c u 2moro 💙 u nite.'
I didn't know what to say after he said he loved me. 'U 2.' Was all I could say.
They next few days it was just Olivia, Oliver, and me spending almost all our time together. Olivia kept trying to convince me to tell him. I told her no and I was planning on sticking to it. The day before the wedding our parents came. Olivia and Oliver went out to dinner with them. I said no.
The next day I go to Oliver's apartment so I can drive the two hours with him. Olivia and Jessica were driving together.
"I'm happy for you. Maybe one day I will have a niece or nephew." I say looking at the floor.
He laughs "not from me maybe Liv but I don't want to have sex with her. I can't really have sex with someone I'm not in love with."
"You haven't had sex with her?" I asked staring at him.
He just shakes his head. "No the only person i have had sex with is you."
"Oliver I'm sorry." I put my hand on his arm.
He stops the car pulling over to the side of the road. He grabs my chin pulling my face to his kissing me. I moan into his mouth before pulling away.
He laughs like he's in pain "thought you weren't gay? That kiss definitely showed that you are not as straight you want people to think you are. So now the question is why? Why don't you like me amymore?" He looked upset.
"Oli just drive. You're going to be late." I tell him as he rolls his eyes. I say "I do still care about you but we are family and I can't be with you."
We were only about 30 minutes from the beach when we stopped so as we got into the back room he grabs me kissing me again. "I love you."
I pull away. "We can't." I'm close to tears saying this.
"Why?" He looks pissed off.
"I cheated on you multiple times Oli. I love you but I can't ask you to be with me."
He scoffed when I said this. "You are an ass." He started crying "i don't want you in my wedding. I thought you loved me but if you did you wouldn't have cheated on me."
Olivia and Jessica had apparently been passing by while Jessica kept walking to her dressing room Olivia stayed and listened after hearing this part though she came in "he didn't cheat on you. He was forced to go somewhere by your dad and his mom. He didn't want to be in the wedding because it hurts him to see you with someone else. You are such an idiot Oliver. "
"Forced to go where?" He asks me still with tears in his eyes.
I just shook my head and started walking to the door Olivia was in and she grabbed me stopping me saying "he was forced into a gay conversion camp because of you being together."
"Wait my father forced you to go there?" He asked me.
I was crying now too so I just nodded. He pushed past me and out to the room where everyone was waiting he found his father and punched him in the face. I followed after him and so did Olivia after he hit his dad for the second time I grabbed him.
"How fucking dare you? You knew he was the only one I wanted to be with. Screw you. Stay the fuck away from me my sister and Hunter. If I ever see you again I will kill you." He was speaking in a normal tone but he might as well have been yelling. You could hear a pen drop with how silent it was. "The wedding is off. I'm not playing your game anymore." He grabbed my hand and his sister's and pulled us away.