The next few days were a rollercoaster of emotions. Tahar stuck to me like glue; aside from one occasion where she returned to her hut to collect her belongings. She didn't have much – and I had a lot of time to become intimately familiar with each individual item as they were dumped into my own tent. Tahar made herself at home. According to her, her old hut would be appropriated to another member of the tribe.
I still didn't know what to do with her. She was insistent on following me, even if I didn't immediately intend to bed and wed her. I tried to broach the subject of heading to a foreign, unfamiliar land, but it didn't phase her one bit. If anything, she was excited about the idea and the chance to learn more of our language. The tribe were also no strangers to packing up their things and moving. Some of her tribespeople had found foreign partners and left Versia themselves over the years, usually with visitors like us.
Tahar was at least savvy enough to know not to push my boundaries. I never expected to have her person heaved upon me as a wife for defeating the terror. Benadora's work in the Tall School continued apace. I stood watch to make sure that no other monsters were lurking inside. It seemed that the notorious reputation it had accumulated was entirely the fault of that single creature, that or it had eaten the rest of them since the last time anyone visited.
Benadora tried her level best to make sure that she had an excuse to increase the scope of their investigation. Her tours of the place frequently took sudden detours into different rooms and chambers that weren't in the plan. She could only go so far with it. She was being paid for a very specific purpose and not fulfilling it would negatively impact her reputation.
I would have been bored, but after running around frantically trying to clear the building for her like a madman, it was nice having some slower days to relax. The surroundings were picturesque and I occupied myself by sightseeing and training. But as each day passed the question of what to do with Tahar came closer and closer to a head.
Benadora had made it clear to me that we were leaving in the next three days.
"What do you think we should do?" I asked Cali as we sat by the fire. Tahar was out of earshot tuning her bow. "She isn't going to say no to coming back with us."
Cali was confused by my asking, "Isn't she your wife? It is not my decision to make."
"I know. I was just asking for a different perspective."
I did value her opinion somewhat. I wouldn't have worked with her for such a long time (by my standards) if I didn't. Or maybe I was just searching for validation in the choice I'd already selected in the back of my mind.
"Another travelling companion would liven up our journey," Cali mused, "Yet we would share a responsibility to care for her. Sull is a much different and more vicious place than here. People would be eager to take advantage of her."
She was right about that. But in my eyes whether Tahar would fall to any of their schemes was in doubt. She was intelligent, and an adult capable of spotting someone talking a load of crap. That was the impression that I'd gotten from knowing her for the previous week and then some. What I was concerned about was if she understood the full implications of coming with me.
There was little realistic prospect of us returning to Versia, lest Benadora organize another expedition and decide to pay for my services. In some theoretical future where I became fabulously wealthy and owned my own ship, I could see us coming back to visit the 'family.' I'd be willing to do her that favour. But again, only hypothetical. Accumulating that kind of wealth was extremely challenging even as a strong warrior.
"I don't want to force her into something she might not want. This is a tradition of the village – but what's to say that she doesn't feel obliged to follow along? When I ask her, she always says it's fine but I can never believe it."
"Aren't you discounting her words too easily?"
I laughed, "Not everyone's as honest as you are, Cali."
"If you want my honest opinion, you're afraid of letting her into your orbit because you are naturally distrustful. You externalize this reaction by implying that she is incapable of making an educated choice for herself. You believe that being charitable will eventually present you with an easy way out, without making any hard choices or changes to yourself and others."
Ouch. That one got right to the heart of the matter.
I grunted, "Okay, you got me. But what do you propose I do?"
"I highly doubt that Tahar is plotting to murder you, should that be your primary concern. Her ignorance of your history and Stigma have allowed her to stand clear of any preconceptions about you and your behaviour."
"You're saying that you want her to come with us?"
What struck me was how strange Cali's response to that question was. Usually she always had an answer prepared to respond with, that straightforward and honest manner meaning that she didn't mince her words for my sake. I had a distinctly different impression of her response now. For once she said something that failed to convince me of her sincerity.
"…Yes. She may accompany us back to Sull."
Before I could squeeze an answer out of her, Tahar planted herself on my left side and smiled. I couldn't go talking about her behind her back if she was there with us. "Hello Tahar," Cali greeted.
"Hello Cali, Ren."
Cali decided to put her boot in, "We were just speaking about your desire to follow us home."
"Yes, follow Ren. Perform duty as mate."
"And you are not afraid of being taken to a new place?"
She processed the question and nodded resolutely, "No fear. Destiny calls."
"There you have it."
I sighed and cleared the dangling hair from my left eye. I needed a haircut. It was the first thing I was going to do when I got back to Sull. A real haircut from a real barber. I'd tried doing my own hair before using a carving knife and pilfering scissors, and I'd learned the hard way that sticking to my day job was the better thing to do.
Tahar noticed me fiddling with it. She stood from the fireside log and moved behind me. Before I had the chance to ask what she was doing, her clawed hands were running through it. She pulled the wild hair back and began to deftly braid it into a short ponytail, tying it together with a red band she had been keeping around her finger.
"You're good at that," I commented.
Tahar returned to her seat and nodded, "Long hair, in way during hunt, every villager learns to manage." Now that she mentioned it, most of everyone in the village had very long hair with only a few exceptions. Truss kept his hair short, though that may have simply been due to his advanced age and the natural loss of it.
Cali was giving me a glare. Not the usual type of steely-eyed glare that was her trademark. It was a new type of glare that put me on edge from the second I noticed that she was doing it. Had I done something to irritate her? Usually whatever I did just rolled over her like water off a duck's back...
"Are you certain you want to follow us?"
"Yes."
"Certain certain?"
"Yes!"
Cali admonished me, "Ren, we just spoke about this."
"We go to Sull. Dangerous. Lots of people, lots of fighting."
"You slay great beast, I am not afraid. Young bird leaves nest one day or the next."
That was conclusive. Cali was right about her resolve, but it didn't mean that I felt good about it. I had never intended to win Tahar as a 'wife' in the first place. If I knew that was the reward she spoke of before I did it, I would have objected. Tahar found it acceptable, I didn't. There were a great many occasions where I found myself having an extreme difference of perspective with other people, and solving such a fundamental issue was beyond my power.
How would Tahar feel if I rejected her out of hand? She had respected my boundaries up until now – but what was she hoping to see from me? Children? Marriage? A home? Those were things that I couldn't offer. I had my own deficiencies that prevented me from wanting that, and roadblocks that would stop me even if I tried.
I was turning into a total softie. It was going to bite me in the ass one day.
Three mostly uneventful days later and Benadora had everything she needed. Her team had compiled hundreds and hundreds of pages of different symbols and writings, combined with a map and key to show where they were found and the structure of each room. They were packed tightly into wooden boxes and rowed back to the main ship.
It had felt like we'd been on Versia much longer than we actually had. A lot had happened. I'd broken my arm, looted a tomb, met a new group of people, killed a powerful monster and somehow come out the other end with a 'wife.' Tahar had shown no interest in changing her mind. She said her goodbyes and packed up her own things, ready to go.
There was so much that I hadn't seen or experienced. Versia was a truly gigantic place, filled with mysteries to explore. But for all the grand scale of the world that surrounded me, I was but one person. There was little hope of exploring it all on my own. If I had the chance, maybe I would return one day and delve deeper into the underground networks that the ancient natives were so fond of.
Before we got onto the ship, I visited Medalie and asked her for a favour. She had some experience tailoring to go along with her metalwork. I didn't want to impose upon Tahar, but her nudity would receive a dim response from some of the people back on Sull. Medalie agreed and prepared some new clothes for her, that even incorporated some of the colourful stitching that I'd seen on her loincloth.
Tahar was very flattered by the gift. She eagerly adorned the undershirt, poncho and pants which had been carefully measured by Medalie's gifted hands. We could talk more practical stuff later. I wasn't planning on getting involved with any dangerous business as soon as we touched solid ground again in Pascen.
And so, days ahead of our original schedule, we piled back into the small wooden rowboat and pushed away from the beachhead we had called home. On the crest of the hill above, several members of Tahar's village had come out to see her off one last time. I felt oddly forlorn about the whole thing. It felt like I was moving on to the next chapter of my life, even though in the bigger picture it didn't seem so important.
I was confident that it would fade with time, and I'd remember Versia as another notch on my belt. Another thing done, another monster slain, another resolution made in my mind about who or what I wanted to be at the end of all of this. I leaned over the edge and gripped Tahar's hand, pulling her up onto the deck of the ship. Her eyes brimmed with wonder. This was the first time she'd ever been aboard a vessel of this size. I also assisted Cali, who was not thrilled to be back on the boat that had churned her guts before.
With crates of research material, a bag full of plundered weapons and a new party member in tow, we departed on our return trip to the duchy.