"Ren, you alive?"
I peered between my crossed arms at an inquisitive face. It was break time, and everyone else in the room had broken away into their respective cliques. Gou never respected my personal space. Perhaps that's why he was my only real friend.
"Yeah, I'm alive." I sat back up in my chair and stretched out. The class had been extremely dull. The moment it ended I had closed my eyes and tried to catch some sleep before the next. I was sleeping poorly, I didn't know why.
I twitched as a slip of gossip escaped from one of the girls across me, "Did you hear that Tatsunoko and Sumire started going out?"
"What? That's super crazy!"
Gou picked up on my sour expression. "Oh. I see. Still a bit sore over that, huh?"
"More than a little."
I knew that realistically I had no chance of getting with Sumire. I'd barely even talked with her. Was it any wonder that after three years, someone else would get there first? That wasn't to say that I was happy about it. I was seriously pissed off.
He smiled, trying to cheer me up. "I know it's probably no good to say this, but there are a lot more fish in the sea. We're still in high-school – I'm sure in a few years you'll find a girl who knocks your socks off and then she'll be a distant memory."
I sighed, "If you say so."
"I went through this a few years ago, before we met," he explained, "You think that the whole world's ending because you missed your shot. But really, there's still a long way to go. Your dashing good looks won't let you stay single for long."
I punched him in the arm, "Stop messing with me, you're six foot five!"
He was easily the tallest person in the entire school. The basketball club nearly killed themselves to get him to sign up with them.
"And I've got a face like a cinderblock," he laughed.
"You're a regular Antonio Inoki."
"Jeeze, that's an obscure one…"
"Sorry, blame my Dad."
I stood from my desk, "I'm going to the bathroom."
I exited into the main hallway. The second floor was where all the third-year classrooms were located. I caught a glimpse of Sumire at the end of the corridor, turning the corner and heading down the stairs to the first floor. There was no doubt in my mind that she was heading to meet up with her new boyfriend.
"Shit."
It stung a little. It was just a high-school crush, but it felt like the whole world to me. Gou was right, I had my entire life ahead of me. Maybe becoming so despondent over a girl I never even tired to confess to wasn't the best way to get over it. I looked back to where she disappeared from, only to find a new girl stood in her place. I couldn't make out who it was from where I was stood, and I wasn't going to take a detour from the bathroom to find out. What I could see was that she had long black hair that shrouded her face in shade.
A new girl?
I shook the cobwebs free from my head and focused on relieving my bladder. When I was done and out in the hallway again, the girl from before was gone. I wandered over to the windows and looked down into the front yard. Sumire and Tatsunoko were chatting happily under one of the trees. What did he have that I didn't?
Okay, so maybe he was more athletic, and better looking – but it was the personality that counted.
"Senpai…"
A feminine voice croaked from my left. It was the same girl that I'd spied standing near the stairs, she'd snuck up on me somehow. Her hair had grown even wilder in the moments since I last saw her. Her face was covered with thick, wild strands of coal black hair.
"Uh, do I know you?"
She stepped back and clutched her chest, "Senpai, I'm hurt! What do you mean? Of course you know me!"
I had no earthly idea who this girl was supposed to be. Was she really an underclassman? I so rarely spoke or interacted with them, and I was certain that I'd remember such a… unique appearance. From the few gaps in the vail covering her face, I could see that she was rather pretty herself. Though my eye was still drawn back to Sumire, laughing and smiling with someone who wasn't me.
"Why are you looking at her?"
I felt the atmosphere in the corridor change, a chill ran down my spine as her eyes glinted with a flash of anger. I felt a memory insert itself into my mind, I did know her from somewhere, but where? She reached up with her left hand and swept her fringe aside, finally revealing her face in full detail.
I stared at her for a second. Not content with the pace of my emerging recognition, she grabbed my cheeks with her palms and pulled me down to her level, "Why were you looking at her? Am I not good enough for you?"
Were her eyes always red?
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I thought you'd moved on from these silly old memories… but here you are, looking doll-eyed over a woman who doesn't love you, who never loved you. You're breaking my heart. Just forget her already! You belong to me!"
To punctuate her crazed ramblings, she pulled me into an aggressive kiss. She forced my mouth open using the tips of her fingers and shoved her tongue deep into my mouth. The shock of her assault prevented me from reacting right away, but when I finally came to I planted my hands on her shoulders and wrenched myself free from her clutches.
"Stigma…"
The visage of a girl my age faded away. In an instant, she grew taller and fuller, her face morphing back to how I remembered her. "Aw, did you figure me out already?"
"What the hell is this? Where are we?"
Stigma smiled and pulled my head into her chest, still covered by a now enlarged uniform. "It's simple Master, we're inside your mind! Your real body is sleeping in that cute little tent of yours. It seems that your mind decided to wander unto some bitter memories."
That left me with even more questions, "Why did you decide to play along with it?"
"Play? Master, I assure you that I was quite serious."
I tensed up as her grip grew tighter.
"You have me. Why do you persist in remembering a woman who abandoned you? She'll never have the connection that we do. You and I are bonded on a level even deeper than what you might think. From now, until the moment that you perish, I will be by your side. I will be there to gently shepherd your noble soul into the end."
"But…"
Her gaze intensified. A face twisted into an angry, madness-stricken fury. "No. I will not hear any of your excuses. Your soul is already mine. Others may try to hold sway over your mortal body, but pleasures of the flesh are only a glimpse of the devotion that I can offer to you."
I tried to escape her arms, "How many times have you said that? To your previous holders?"
"Never. Not even once. Since the first moment that I became aware of what I was, I knew that they weren't deserving of my grace. They grovel, beg, try to rob my power – but none of them are capable of what you're capable of. They don't have the same capacity for violence that you do. You are ruthless and hypocritical, even if you won't acknowledge it."
She was too strong for me. I was still projecting myself as a lazy schoolboy.
"Your blood will be my blood, my bone, your bone. Your deepest thoughts and desires will be clear as day, and I will help you attain them. We will consume the world and burn it as fuel. We will ascend the great steps and spit in the face of the gods."
"I just want to stay alive."
Stigma laughed like a shower of broken glass. She didn't believe a word I said.
"We shall see."
She snapped her fingers and we teleported down into the yard. Sumire and her boyfriend were frozen in time, unmoving mid-conversation. My body had changed too, into the older form I'd become accustomed to in the other world. I even had all of my gear.
"This… woman, is undeserving of you." Stigma pointed down to my right arm. As I followed the extended digit, I found myself holding the hilt of her sword form. "Excise your demons, Ren. Remove any trace of doubt in your mind – and devote yourself fully to me."
"…Who's really in charge here?"
"I am offering you a chance. This is not an order."
"It doesn't feel like it."
Stigma sighed, her shoulders sagging, "Do as you wish, Master. No matter your choice, you will awaken where you fell asleep."
I turned my back on Stigma and faced the happy couple. I gripped the sword so tightly that the leather binding started to cut into my skin. I couldn't help but feel angry at the diorama presented to me. Sumire and Tatsunoko having the time of their lives. Did she even know who I was? What did he do to deserve a love like hers?
They were probably still alive. Maybe not together, but alive. They moved on from school, living through their adulthoods and all the challenges that came with it. They found new loves, or started families. Things that I would never have the chance to do myself.
Unless…
This new world was all about struggle. Every waking moment was warfare. Words that stabbed like knives, veiled intentions that seeded mistrust, and people committing terrible acts to gain the slightest edge. What was I doing, really? I'd been so afraid of compromising myself that I'd been afraid of using Stigma. But there was no need. The world was full of bad people. I couldn't be any worse than them. My entire ideology had been about doing the rational thing. What was rational about holding back?
That was what she wanted. Stigma had her own part to play in all this. I couldn't just assume that she was doing this in my best interest. The clock was ticking. Did a fate worse than death wait for me at the end of this winding road?
I raised Stigma into the air and brought her back down on his neck.
A hand reached out.
"Marcus?"
Through bleary eyes, the bearded face of my compatriot backed away from my tent with a nervous smile. "Oh! You're awake. I just came to get you up, Fernwell says that we're holding a meeting on the tree as soon as possible. Thought you might want to have a say."
"Oh. I'll be out in a moment."
"Great!" Marcus nodded. He hung around the entrance to my tent for a moment before bowing his head and scarpering away. I looked to my side where Stigma lay in her sheath, a nervous bout of nausea settling into me. What was he doing before I woke up? My mind struggled to process everything that had just happened. The ending to my 'dream' included.
"Ren, I am disappointed to report that none of the men attempted to have their way with me during the night."
I quickly wiped my greasy face clean with a towel and put my armor back on. Cali's overnight report had scrambled my brain even further. This was not my ideal start to a morning. She was speaking to me through the fabric wall that divided the two sides of our tent.
"…What would you do if they did?"
"While submitting to their sexual advances would endanger me, killing my attacker and screaming for help would surely invite further retaliation against my person."
"There's something wrong with you, seriously."