Warning: *Mature Content Ahead*
I couldn't stop myself from grinning like a mental patient. The experience of my first kiss just blew my mind away. When Sanskar initiated to kiss me, I wanted to stop him but somewhere the dirty sensual mind I always lock away opened up making me let him do whatever he wants. I just wanted to be under his mercy and the way Sanskar kissed me even now thinking about it makes me curl my toes in pleasure and excitement.
"Swaru, stop kneading the dough, and why your face is warm like this?" Mom asked touching my face with her palm checking whether I have a fever or not. How will I tell her this fever is something else. That my core is burning in the fire of my lucid desire for Sanskar.
"It's nothing, Amma. I am just tired from all the hospital works. Today we had a hectic scheduled that's why. Can I go sleep for some time?"
"Ok, you go and rest for some time. I will call you once Appa returns from the office." I washed my hands and strode towards my room. Locking the door and windows, I settled on my bed and took out the cellphone from my handbag. Plugging the ear pods, I searched for that one song that can bring me to my knees. That one song changes my whole demeanor. When I hear that song all I remember is Sanskar and me.
No one else...
It's just US.
Getting under the quilt, I tapped the play button. Slowly, I unpinned my saree letting it fall revealing my embroidered plunge neck blouse.
'You're the light, you're the night
You're the color of my blood'
I grazed my fingertips along the valley of my collar bone ever so slightly as my eyes closed in anticipation and then there he was. His face so close to mine and all I could feel was him.
His smell.
His warmth.
His touch.
It burned the inside of me in pure desire. I imagined that it was not my fingers but his lips are giving me pleasure. His lips peppered kisses on my cleavage and moved down to my stomach as his hands bunched my saree near my hips.
'You're the cure, you're the pain
You're the only thing I wanna touch
Never knew that it could mean so much, so much'
She felt his cold fingers touch her hardened pebble making her arch her back and breath hard. His breath mingled with hers and his lips kissed her earlobe. Biting it slightly, she heard him say those words.
"This is for me Love, right? You are flowing for me. Tell me only I make you feel this forbidden feeling. Only I make you warm and bothered. Tell me, Love." His voice raw with emotions and darkness brought me to my edge as his hands stroked my pebble vigorously. As I reached the pinnacle of my pleasure, I gaped as a fish fell out of its pond as my body shivered in ultimate satisfaction. I felt the sweat beads roll down my neck and disappear into my lush curly hair. My labored breath started to normalize as I opened my eyes which are liquid in happiness.
Physical pleasure...
This is the only way how I felt Sanskar close to me all these years when I thought he is not going to be a part of my life anymore. When I told my close friend Kashi about Sanskar and the decision I took Kashi told me how can I live without having sex. Sex is an integral part of a relationship. Whether you have it before marriage or after marriage, it is important. Her words made me second guess my decision that's when I watched Fifty Shades of Grey.
I still remember I was in 12th grade and that's for the first time I knew what Sex really is. Soon I started to explore the world of erotic novels and short stories. That's when I realized Sex is nothing but a self-pleasuring material. Man and woman use each other to pleasure themselves. When I can do that myself and bring me this pleasure and satisfaction then why should I seek a man for that?
Fifty Shades of Grey made me realize that even sex needs love to feel the essence of it.
Adjusting my saree, I walked into my bathroom and let the cold water wash away the heat of desire and sin from my body. Changing into a 3/4th Capri and T-shirt, I walked into the living and saw Appa sitting in the living area with his evening cup of tea. The calling bell of ours got all of our attention. Amma who came out of the kitchen opened the door and saw a courier boy standing with a bouquet of lilies and carnations.
"Mrs. Anu Vasudevan?"
"It's me."
"Mam, this is from Mr. Sanskar Maheshwari. He specially ordered this bouquet for you, Mam. Have a nice day" Appa and I giggled looking at the confused expression.
"Looks like Sanskar started to work his charms on your mother. Get ready my dear daughter I think next will be you only." Appa's comment made me blush while I thought in my mind that if not for his charms today I wouldn't drown in his ocean of love where I don't have a choice but to live in it.